Post by Mimi on Aug 18, 2006 10:42:23 GMT -5
“Honey, I’m home,” John said as he inserted his key into the lock of the penthouse door and opened it. The hum of electricity and the faint ticking of a clock were the only sounds that could be heard. As John set his keys down on the small sitting desk, he sincerely hoped that Marlena had been able to get some much-needed sleep. He knew that she was having problems sleeping, having woken up several times in the middle of the night to find her on the terrace staring up at the star filled heavens.
It was only when Marlena breathed in deeply, that John was even aware that she was in the room. Startled that he previously hadn’t even noticed her, John glanced over at her sleeping form engulfed by the large floral couch. Like the couch he so hated, she blended into the surrounding, not being noticeable. The irony was not lost on John. Not knowing if she was sleeping or awake, John slowly sat down next to her and rubbed her back. He took the opportunity in this one moment of peace to study her still form. Her silky blonde hair lay tousled against her face, framing her pale cheekbones. John wanted to see her eyes, know how she was doing, but didn’t want to wake her. He reached out gently to touch her face, the pads of his fingers barely touching her. He saw the fine lines that graced her eyes, lines that he’d never really noticed before. Had they always been there and he’d been too preoccupied with the daily hum of life to notice?
Realizing that her breathing pattern had changed and was now more shallow, John withdrew his hands from her face and rubbed her back once again. “Did you have a good nap?” John asked as Marlena opened her eyes.
“Yes,” she lied, as she closed her eyes, not wanting to John to see them. A million emotions coursed through her veins. Marlena rolled from her side to her stomach so that she wouldn’t directly have to look at John. If only she could make it through this, lie and act like things were fine, then she’d be okay.
“That’s good…you’ve been so tired lately,” John said as he studied her still form. He rubbed her shoulders, noting the tenseness of her muscles. It was moments like this, spent alone in the comforts of their home, which John cherished. He’d give all the money he had just to be able to have these moments with Marlena. He loved her, plain and simple, he loved her.
“I’m okay,” Marlena whispered, trying to sound stronger than she felt. John wouldn’t hurt her, would he?
“I stopped by the hospital to see Rachel and Noah on my way home. Carrie and Austin are with the babies right now. I’m going to go back in a little while, but wanted to see you first.” John had been worried about her, sensing that something wasn’t right. Knowing that she was at the penthouse alone, he rushed back for his own piece of mind. He didn’t like leaving her alone, but didn’t really have a choice. Marlena had sent her parents to stay at the Salem Inn after she and her mother got into an argument a week before. Family and friends had started making comments to John about Marlena, sensing that something wasn’t right. John stood by helplessly as Marlena was becoming undone, not knowing how to stop it or help her. Lexie had prescribed medication for Marlena, stating that she was most likely suffering from postpartum depression. John had tried to be understanding and supportive, but Marlena was making it difficult. She had managed to alienate most of her friends, not wanting to be around them, not returning their calls and ignoring them when they’d ask what they could do to help. Marlena had made it clear to everyone that she was fine.
“How are they?” Marlena asked, not wanting to get her hopes up.
“Rachel is holding steady, but the good news is with Noah…His doctors seem to think that he’ll be able to go home next week.” John smiled as he recalled being able to hold his son and feed him a bottle for the first time. Marlena should have been there and have been the one to do that. Why were things so difficult and hard that they couldn’t share the every day moments that define life and living?
“Really,” Marlena said as she rolled onto her back and struggled to sit up. John noticed that her sweater was unbuttoned halfway down the front and that she wasn’t wearing a bra. “That’s such great news,” Marlena said, oblivious to John staring at her chest.
“Yeah, we’ve got some shopping to do first though,” John said as he reached out and fingered the pearl buttons on her sweater. “You must have been really tired Marlena, your buttons don’t line up,” John said as he laughed. She always looked so cute after napping.
Marlena turned her head to the side, not wanting John to see her face. “I was,” she lied. She was slowly dying inside. Every cell of strength and determination to persevere in her body slowly being invaded and eaten by a cancer that she wasn’t sure how to define. As her tears burnt a path down her cheeks, she bit her lip trying to keep her body from trembling. The coppery taste of her own blood a reminder that she was alive.
“Would you like to go with me to the hospital to visit the kids tonight?” John asked hopeful that she would. Since the night they decided to keep Rachel on life support, Marlena had been to see her daughter a couple of times, but never with John and always at odd hours. John had woken up several times during the night to find Marlena gone and had called the hospital to find that she was there with the children.
“No, I’m kind of tired,” Marlena said as she numbly stared out of the window. She wanted to tell John about Alex and for him to make things better, but didn’t have the courage. The little voice inside of her that told her that she wasn’t worthy of John’s love, told her that he would leave her for good if she told him, just like everyone else had left her. Besides, on some level, didn’t she deserve it?
“Are you okay?” John asked. He was growing used to her mood swings, but tonight was different. Something was wrong. He glanced around the room, looking for signs that something was amiss, but found the perfect house, everything in its perfect, designer arranged place. Everything was too fucking perfect, everything but Marlena. In the space she’d created for the family, everything was fucking perfect, John noticed for the first time. The perfect couch, the perfect drapes, the perfect linens, the perfect accessories. Why hadn’t he seen that before? How many signs had Marlena been inadvertently sending him over the years that he’d failed to pick up? Was he to blame for her issues as well? As a husband, had he failed her?
“Yes,” she lied once again, trying to convince herself that she was fine. If she said it enough, would she believe it? If she said it enough, would it come true?
“Look at me Marlena,” John said as he raised her chin with his index finger. Her face was tear stained, mascara staining her cheeks. “What happened?” John asked in a panic.
“Nothing…I’m fine,” Marlena said, her eyes closed. How do you say you’re sorry? How do you know that he really cares and wants to help you? He was too near to her, to close to her emotions.
“Marlena, someone or something has upset you…I can see it on your face and from your body language,” John moved closer to her on the couch, dismayed that she didn’t trust him enough to confide in him. After all this time the wall was still there and John still didn’t have a clue how to get around it or over it.
“I’m fine,” Marlena said as she stood up, putting as much distance, emotionally and physically, between them as possible.
“You don’t look fine to me honey…do you want to talk about it?” John asked as he got up from the couch and followed her. “You’re killing me Doc,” John thought to himself. She had saved him from himself and Stefano so many times in the past, why wouldn’t she let him save her?
“I said I’m fine,” Marlena said as she brushed a few errant stands of her blond hair from her eyes. She turned away from him and went out onto the balcony, needing to get out of the apartment and away from her memories of him.
“You don’t look fine to me,” John said as he placed his hand gently on her arm, desperately wanting to reach this person that he loved more than anything in the world.
“I said I’m fine and mean it…please stop asking me,” Marlena begged as she looked down at the busy street below. She was barely aware of John rubbing her arm as she calculated the speed at which she’d travel if she jumped. She knew how many feet off the ground the penthouse terrace was. Multiplying that by her body weight she would most likely break all the bones in her body as she hit the pavement below. Would she leave a bloody mess, or would the catastrophic damage to her system be internal only? What would it feel like to make that jump, to fall?
John silently watched as she stared down below. What was she thinking? Where had she gone? “Okay, why don’t you go upstairs with me and I’ll run you a nice hot bath.” He wanted to get her out of the cold and back into the house.
Shaken out of her reverie, Marlena nodded. “That’s a nice idea…thanks John.” Glancing at the pavement below one last time, Marlena then turned around and made her way back into the penthouse and to the stairs. John noticed that she seemed to be in pain, something about her gait was off.
“Are you alright Doc?” he asked as he rushed to the stairs to help her.
“Just a little sore…I’ll be okay,” she said as she grimaced. She grabbed the handrail and held onto it for support as she made her way up the staircase. John walked behind her, prepared to catch her if she fell.
As Marlena walked into her bedroom, she looked away from the bed as she walked into the large bathroom. Glancing in the mirror, she could see that John had followed her into the bedroom, but not the bathroom. He was standing at the foot of their marital bed, staring at it.
As John stared at the covers he had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something was wrong, but the question was what. “Naw, she would have told me,” John said as he tried to convince himself that maybe everything was right and that he was just looking for trouble. The sound of water running in the bathroom shook John from his line of thinking. He went into the bathroom just in time to see Marlena remove her pants.
“John,” Marlena exclaimed as she tried to cover herself.
“What?” John replied sheepishly.
“You shouldn’t be in here,” Marlena said as she grabbed a maroon oversized towel and wrapped it around her waist.
“Marlena, we’re married,” John reminded her, puzzled by her sudden modesty.
“Were married, as in the past. It’s not proper for you to be in here.”
“Not proper?” John asked, remembering last night when he’d made love to her in the bathtub.
“Look, could I have some privacy?” she finally asked, realizing that the ‘proper’ wasn’t going to fly with John, not when she counted up the times they’d made love since they returned from Alaska.
“Fine,” John said as he turned around and faced the door, his back to Marlena. He heard her shut off the water and get into the bathtub.
“Okay,” she said, making sure that the bubbles in the tub provided cover. She didn’t know why she was being like this with him. She never had issues with her body and nudity before, why now?
As John turned around, he was concerned by the site before him. Last night when he walked into the bathroom and found her in the tub she looked sexy as hell. He couldn’t get close to her fast enough, jumping into the tub fully dressed. Tonight was a different story. She looked sad, like she had lost the best friend that she ever had. Something was bothering her.
“Mar, talk to me,” John said as he sat down on the side of the tub.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Marlena said as she leaned her head back on the inflatable bath pillow and closed her eyes.
“Mar, I love you…I can see that something is wrong.”
“Nothing is wrong…everything is fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive,” she said as she forced a smile. As she studied the bubbles in the tub she wondered how long it would take to drown in a bathtub? A couple minutes? Longer? Would your body automatically fight for its self-preservation by rising to the surface for air, when possible?
“You’d tell me if something was wrong, would you?” John asked.
Marlena reached for the bar of soap, avoiding the question. She didn’t want to lie to John. She could avoid his questions, but she never wanted to be a liar. Good girls didn’t lie, they always told the truth. She was good wasn’t she?
“Marlena?” John asked as he moved closer to her. He lack of a response was worrying him and only confirmed what he had been feeling; something was wrong. He had a sickening feeling in his gut that something was very wrong with the picture of domestic bliss that Marlena tried so hard to present.
As soon as her hand grasped the bar of soap, John saw the bruises on her upper forearm. Bruises that had not been there last night. “What the fuck,” he thought to himself.
“Marlena,” he said as he grabbed her arm. She pulled her arm out of his grasp and turned her head. “Who did this to you,” he demanded.
“Its nothing,” she said as she turned her head to the side, unable to look him in the eyes and lie. She was going to lie. She wasn’t a good girl, never was. As much as she tried to pretend that she was, she would never be good enough.
“Its something, don’t lie to me either. Who did this to you?” He reached into the water, shirtsleeves becoming soaked in the process. He roughly grabbed her other arm which was hidden underneath the bubbles and lifted it up.
“Marlena,” John said as tears formed in his eyes. Matching bruises dotted her other arm, the clear imprints of another person’s fingers visible.
Marlena jerked her hands out of John’s grasp and put them beneath the bubbles, in embarrassment. She was disgusted with herself. She’d been so preoccupied with seeing what John was doing in the bedroom that she’d failed to hide the evidence. Her father would be so disappointed in her. The one thing that he’d always taught her and Sam was how to hide the evidence so that no one knew. The less people knew, the less questions they asked, the less trouble they got into later. It was easier that way.
“Marlena,” John said again as he lifted her face tenderly with his fingers. She wouldn’t open her eyes to look at him. John tenderly stroked her face with his fingers trying to provide some measure of comfort. He could see her bottom lip and chin start to tremble.
“Talk to me…did someone hurt you?” Was she mugged or robbed and was to scared to tell him?
“No,” she said weakly, as the tears that she had been trying desperately to hold back finally fell.
“Marlena, I have to know…. Please tell me what happened…how did you get these bruises?”
“I can’t,” Marlena cried out, starting to sob.
“Can’t or won’t? If someone did this to you they need to be punished.”
“It’s nothing, just a little misunderstanding, that’s all,” she said, ashamed that he had seen her bruises. She was incapable of telling him the truth. Talking about it would make it real. Besides, she was strong enough to handle this on her own, telling John would only bring up elements of the past that she never wanted John to know. Telling wouldn’t change things; it would only make them worse.
“Marlena, who did this to you?” John asked again, still not comprehending the full scope of the situation.
“No one, I’m fine, forget about it,” Marlena said as she sat up in the tub and grabbed the sides for support as she lifted her body out of the water. John watched her helplessly, silently inspecting her body for other bruises. She was much too thin still. As much as he encouraged her to eat more, she always claimed that she wasn’t hungry.
Marlena grabbed another maroon towel off the rack and wrapped it around her body. John followed her as she went into the bedroom.
“Why won’t you talk to me about this?” John said as he sat down on the disheveled bed.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Marlena said as she opened her dresser drawer and pulled out underwear and a bra.
“You have bruises on your arms that weren’t there yesterday. Somebody grabbed you and I want to know who it was and why?”
“Its nothing John…leave it alone,” Marlena said as she dropped her towel and quickly put on her underwear and bra.
“I can’t…I’m concerned.”
“Don’t be…as my ex-husband I release you from any sense of obligation you have for me…I’m a grown woman capable of taking care of myself…If I need your help I’ll ask you for it, okay.” John watched as Marlena went to her closet and took out a pair of jeans and a sweater and put them on.
“Promise me that you’ll tell me if something happened,” John said as he got up from their bed and approached Marlena at the mirror where she was putting on her jewelry.
“I promise John,” Marlena said with a smile as she looked him in the eye and lied to his face. He watched as she disappeared into her closet, returning minutes later carrying her oversized Louis Vuitton bag that he’d given her for Christmas a couple years past.
“Where are you going?” he asked, concerned.
“Out,” she said as she quickly walked past him to the bedroom door. “Don’t wait up for me,” she said as she looked at him, coldness in her eyes.
Once Marlena had made it out of the penthouse without being interrogated by John, she reached into her bag and felt the cold metal of the 9 mm handgun hidden inside. For the first time in weeks, she smiled.
It was only when Marlena breathed in deeply, that John was even aware that she was in the room. Startled that he previously hadn’t even noticed her, John glanced over at her sleeping form engulfed by the large floral couch. Like the couch he so hated, she blended into the surrounding, not being noticeable. The irony was not lost on John. Not knowing if she was sleeping or awake, John slowly sat down next to her and rubbed her back. He took the opportunity in this one moment of peace to study her still form. Her silky blonde hair lay tousled against her face, framing her pale cheekbones. John wanted to see her eyes, know how she was doing, but didn’t want to wake her. He reached out gently to touch her face, the pads of his fingers barely touching her. He saw the fine lines that graced her eyes, lines that he’d never really noticed before. Had they always been there and he’d been too preoccupied with the daily hum of life to notice?
Realizing that her breathing pattern had changed and was now more shallow, John withdrew his hands from her face and rubbed her back once again. “Did you have a good nap?” John asked as Marlena opened her eyes.
“Yes,” she lied, as she closed her eyes, not wanting to John to see them. A million emotions coursed through her veins. Marlena rolled from her side to her stomach so that she wouldn’t directly have to look at John. If only she could make it through this, lie and act like things were fine, then she’d be okay.
“That’s good…you’ve been so tired lately,” John said as he studied her still form. He rubbed her shoulders, noting the tenseness of her muscles. It was moments like this, spent alone in the comforts of their home, which John cherished. He’d give all the money he had just to be able to have these moments with Marlena. He loved her, plain and simple, he loved her.
“I’m okay,” Marlena whispered, trying to sound stronger than she felt. John wouldn’t hurt her, would he?
“I stopped by the hospital to see Rachel and Noah on my way home. Carrie and Austin are with the babies right now. I’m going to go back in a little while, but wanted to see you first.” John had been worried about her, sensing that something wasn’t right. Knowing that she was at the penthouse alone, he rushed back for his own piece of mind. He didn’t like leaving her alone, but didn’t really have a choice. Marlena had sent her parents to stay at the Salem Inn after she and her mother got into an argument a week before. Family and friends had started making comments to John about Marlena, sensing that something wasn’t right. John stood by helplessly as Marlena was becoming undone, not knowing how to stop it or help her. Lexie had prescribed medication for Marlena, stating that she was most likely suffering from postpartum depression. John had tried to be understanding and supportive, but Marlena was making it difficult. She had managed to alienate most of her friends, not wanting to be around them, not returning their calls and ignoring them when they’d ask what they could do to help. Marlena had made it clear to everyone that she was fine.
“How are they?” Marlena asked, not wanting to get her hopes up.
“Rachel is holding steady, but the good news is with Noah…His doctors seem to think that he’ll be able to go home next week.” John smiled as he recalled being able to hold his son and feed him a bottle for the first time. Marlena should have been there and have been the one to do that. Why were things so difficult and hard that they couldn’t share the every day moments that define life and living?
“Really,” Marlena said as she rolled onto her back and struggled to sit up. John noticed that her sweater was unbuttoned halfway down the front and that she wasn’t wearing a bra. “That’s such great news,” Marlena said, oblivious to John staring at her chest.
“Yeah, we’ve got some shopping to do first though,” John said as he reached out and fingered the pearl buttons on her sweater. “You must have been really tired Marlena, your buttons don’t line up,” John said as he laughed. She always looked so cute after napping.
Marlena turned her head to the side, not wanting John to see her face. “I was,” she lied. She was slowly dying inside. Every cell of strength and determination to persevere in her body slowly being invaded and eaten by a cancer that she wasn’t sure how to define. As her tears burnt a path down her cheeks, she bit her lip trying to keep her body from trembling. The coppery taste of her own blood a reminder that she was alive.
“Would you like to go with me to the hospital to visit the kids tonight?” John asked hopeful that she would. Since the night they decided to keep Rachel on life support, Marlena had been to see her daughter a couple of times, but never with John and always at odd hours. John had woken up several times during the night to find Marlena gone and had called the hospital to find that she was there with the children.
“No, I’m kind of tired,” Marlena said as she numbly stared out of the window. She wanted to tell John about Alex and for him to make things better, but didn’t have the courage. The little voice inside of her that told her that she wasn’t worthy of John’s love, told her that he would leave her for good if she told him, just like everyone else had left her. Besides, on some level, didn’t she deserve it?
“Are you okay?” John asked. He was growing used to her mood swings, but tonight was different. Something was wrong. He glanced around the room, looking for signs that something was amiss, but found the perfect house, everything in its perfect, designer arranged place. Everything was too fucking perfect, everything but Marlena. In the space she’d created for the family, everything was fucking perfect, John noticed for the first time. The perfect couch, the perfect drapes, the perfect linens, the perfect accessories. Why hadn’t he seen that before? How many signs had Marlena been inadvertently sending him over the years that he’d failed to pick up? Was he to blame for her issues as well? As a husband, had he failed her?
“Yes,” she lied once again, trying to convince herself that she was fine. If she said it enough, would she believe it? If she said it enough, would it come true?
“Look at me Marlena,” John said as he raised her chin with his index finger. Her face was tear stained, mascara staining her cheeks. “What happened?” John asked in a panic.
“Nothing…I’m fine,” Marlena said, her eyes closed. How do you say you’re sorry? How do you know that he really cares and wants to help you? He was too near to her, to close to her emotions.
“Marlena, someone or something has upset you…I can see it on your face and from your body language,” John moved closer to her on the couch, dismayed that she didn’t trust him enough to confide in him. After all this time the wall was still there and John still didn’t have a clue how to get around it or over it.
“I’m fine,” Marlena said as she stood up, putting as much distance, emotionally and physically, between them as possible.
“You don’t look fine to me honey…do you want to talk about it?” John asked as he got up from the couch and followed her. “You’re killing me Doc,” John thought to himself. She had saved him from himself and Stefano so many times in the past, why wouldn’t she let him save her?
“I said I’m fine,” Marlena said as she brushed a few errant stands of her blond hair from her eyes. She turned away from him and went out onto the balcony, needing to get out of the apartment and away from her memories of him.
“You don’t look fine to me,” John said as he placed his hand gently on her arm, desperately wanting to reach this person that he loved more than anything in the world.
“I said I’m fine and mean it…please stop asking me,” Marlena begged as she looked down at the busy street below. She was barely aware of John rubbing her arm as she calculated the speed at which she’d travel if she jumped. She knew how many feet off the ground the penthouse terrace was. Multiplying that by her body weight she would most likely break all the bones in her body as she hit the pavement below. Would she leave a bloody mess, or would the catastrophic damage to her system be internal only? What would it feel like to make that jump, to fall?
John silently watched as she stared down below. What was she thinking? Where had she gone? “Okay, why don’t you go upstairs with me and I’ll run you a nice hot bath.” He wanted to get her out of the cold and back into the house.
Shaken out of her reverie, Marlena nodded. “That’s a nice idea…thanks John.” Glancing at the pavement below one last time, Marlena then turned around and made her way back into the penthouse and to the stairs. John noticed that she seemed to be in pain, something about her gait was off.
“Are you alright Doc?” he asked as he rushed to the stairs to help her.
“Just a little sore…I’ll be okay,” she said as she grimaced. She grabbed the handrail and held onto it for support as she made her way up the staircase. John walked behind her, prepared to catch her if she fell.
As Marlena walked into her bedroom, she looked away from the bed as she walked into the large bathroom. Glancing in the mirror, she could see that John had followed her into the bedroom, but not the bathroom. He was standing at the foot of their marital bed, staring at it.
As John stared at the covers he had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something was wrong, but the question was what. “Naw, she would have told me,” John said as he tried to convince himself that maybe everything was right and that he was just looking for trouble. The sound of water running in the bathroom shook John from his line of thinking. He went into the bathroom just in time to see Marlena remove her pants.
“John,” Marlena exclaimed as she tried to cover herself.
“What?” John replied sheepishly.
“You shouldn’t be in here,” Marlena said as she grabbed a maroon oversized towel and wrapped it around her waist.
“Marlena, we’re married,” John reminded her, puzzled by her sudden modesty.
“Were married, as in the past. It’s not proper for you to be in here.”
“Not proper?” John asked, remembering last night when he’d made love to her in the bathtub.
“Look, could I have some privacy?” she finally asked, realizing that the ‘proper’ wasn’t going to fly with John, not when she counted up the times they’d made love since they returned from Alaska.
“Fine,” John said as he turned around and faced the door, his back to Marlena. He heard her shut off the water and get into the bathtub.
“Okay,” she said, making sure that the bubbles in the tub provided cover. She didn’t know why she was being like this with him. She never had issues with her body and nudity before, why now?
As John turned around, he was concerned by the site before him. Last night when he walked into the bathroom and found her in the tub she looked sexy as hell. He couldn’t get close to her fast enough, jumping into the tub fully dressed. Tonight was a different story. She looked sad, like she had lost the best friend that she ever had. Something was bothering her.
“Mar, talk to me,” John said as he sat down on the side of the tub.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Marlena said as she leaned her head back on the inflatable bath pillow and closed her eyes.
“Mar, I love you…I can see that something is wrong.”
“Nothing is wrong…everything is fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive,” she said as she forced a smile. As she studied the bubbles in the tub she wondered how long it would take to drown in a bathtub? A couple minutes? Longer? Would your body automatically fight for its self-preservation by rising to the surface for air, when possible?
“You’d tell me if something was wrong, would you?” John asked.
Marlena reached for the bar of soap, avoiding the question. She didn’t want to lie to John. She could avoid his questions, but she never wanted to be a liar. Good girls didn’t lie, they always told the truth. She was good wasn’t she?
“Marlena?” John asked as he moved closer to her. He lack of a response was worrying him and only confirmed what he had been feeling; something was wrong. He had a sickening feeling in his gut that something was very wrong with the picture of domestic bliss that Marlena tried so hard to present.
As soon as her hand grasped the bar of soap, John saw the bruises on her upper forearm. Bruises that had not been there last night. “What the fuck,” he thought to himself.
“Marlena,” he said as he grabbed her arm. She pulled her arm out of his grasp and turned her head. “Who did this to you,” he demanded.
“Its nothing,” she said as she turned her head to the side, unable to look him in the eyes and lie. She was going to lie. She wasn’t a good girl, never was. As much as she tried to pretend that she was, she would never be good enough.
“Its something, don’t lie to me either. Who did this to you?” He reached into the water, shirtsleeves becoming soaked in the process. He roughly grabbed her other arm which was hidden underneath the bubbles and lifted it up.
“Marlena,” John said as tears formed in his eyes. Matching bruises dotted her other arm, the clear imprints of another person’s fingers visible.
Marlena jerked her hands out of John’s grasp and put them beneath the bubbles, in embarrassment. She was disgusted with herself. She’d been so preoccupied with seeing what John was doing in the bedroom that she’d failed to hide the evidence. Her father would be so disappointed in her. The one thing that he’d always taught her and Sam was how to hide the evidence so that no one knew. The less people knew, the less questions they asked, the less trouble they got into later. It was easier that way.
“Marlena,” John said again as he lifted her face tenderly with his fingers. She wouldn’t open her eyes to look at him. John tenderly stroked her face with his fingers trying to provide some measure of comfort. He could see her bottom lip and chin start to tremble.
“Talk to me…did someone hurt you?” Was she mugged or robbed and was to scared to tell him?
“No,” she said weakly, as the tears that she had been trying desperately to hold back finally fell.
“Marlena, I have to know…. Please tell me what happened…how did you get these bruises?”
“I can’t,” Marlena cried out, starting to sob.
“Can’t or won’t? If someone did this to you they need to be punished.”
“It’s nothing, just a little misunderstanding, that’s all,” she said, ashamed that he had seen her bruises. She was incapable of telling him the truth. Talking about it would make it real. Besides, she was strong enough to handle this on her own, telling John would only bring up elements of the past that she never wanted John to know. Telling wouldn’t change things; it would only make them worse.
“Marlena, who did this to you?” John asked again, still not comprehending the full scope of the situation.
“No one, I’m fine, forget about it,” Marlena said as she sat up in the tub and grabbed the sides for support as she lifted her body out of the water. John watched her helplessly, silently inspecting her body for other bruises. She was much too thin still. As much as he encouraged her to eat more, she always claimed that she wasn’t hungry.
Marlena grabbed another maroon towel off the rack and wrapped it around her body. John followed her as she went into the bedroom.
“Why won’t you talk to me about this?” John said as he sat down on the disheveled bed.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Marlena said as she opened her dresser drawer and pulled out underwear and a bra.
“You have bruises on your arms that weren’t there yesterday. Somebody grabbed you and I want to know who it was and why?”
“Its nothing John…leave it alone,” Marlena said as she dropped her towel and quickly put on her underwear and bra.
“I can’t…I’m concerned.”
“Don’t be…as my ex-husband I release you from any sense of obligation you have for me…I’m a grown woman capable of taking care of myself…If I need your help I’ll ask you for it, okay.” John watched as Marlena went to her closet and took out a pair of jeans and a sweater and put them on.
“Promise me that you’ll tell me if something happened,” John said as he got up from their bed and approached Marlena at the mirror where she was putting on her jewelry.
“I promise John,” Marlena said with a smile as she looked him in the eye and lied to his face. He watched as she disappeared into her closet, returning minutes later carrying her oversized Louis Vuitton bag that he’d given her for Christmas a couple years past.
“Where are you going?” he asked, concerned.
“Out,” she said as she quickly walked past him to the bedroom door. “Don’t wait up for me,” she said as she looked at him, coldness in her eyes.
Once Marlena had made it out of the penthouse without being interrogated by John, she reached into her bag and felt the cold metal of the 9 mm handgun hidden inside. For the first time in weeks, she smiled.
