Post by Melissa on Aug 18, 2006 16:27:38 GMT -5
A House That Is Not Our Home 2
Devastation, Deception, Desperation & Desire
The ring blared loudly through the elevator as Marlena watched the doors open and her private lobby, appear in front of her. She bit her lip as she slowly took a step forward and exited the cart, pulling her luggage with her and adjusting the bags on her shoulder. She fumbled for her keys in her bag, her hand searching blindly for the cool metal, hoping to find them sometime soon, but also silently thanking for the delay. After finally finding them, she walked up to the door and placed her key into the slot, turning it slowly and pushing down on the handle. The smell of the penthouse filled her senses; the familiarity of it all, scented candles, flowers, even her smell was present….she was home….but as she looked around….it didn’t feel like home. It was a house, a house they lived in, a house they shared things within, a house John shared with another woman while Marlena watched in desperation. This wasn’t their home or even her home….it was nothing to her at this very moment, and that’s what scared her to death. She slowly placed down her bags and keys, adjusting her shirt once more before looking around for John.
John was in the kitchen when he thought he had heard a noise, but quickly dismissed it when he took a quick glance at the clock, realizing it was still a bit early. He continued to finish his task when he remembered something he forgot. He was suppose to light some candles so when she got home, it would be warm and welcoming. Gently putting down the knife, he wiped his hands on a dish rag and walked out of the kitchen. As soon as reached the doorway, he felt her presence, her smell…he knew she was home. He hurriedly made his way into the living room and saw her standing there. She was about to walk to the kitchen as well when they both stopped dead in their tracks as Marlena smiled widely, as John ran up to her and pulled her into his arms.
“Oh baby….you’re home. Oh God I have missed you so much.” John said longingly as he brought her body closer then before, while Marlena slowly batted at the tears that fell down from her eyes.
“I missed you too honey.”
John slightly let go of her body as he pulled back just enough to look into her eyes. “Why didn’t you say you were home?” Marlena smiled as she gave a small shrug before pulling at his hands, trying to release his grip a bit more.
“I thought maybe surprising you would be better. What were you doing back there?” She smiled as John reached for her again, pulling her close enough to kiss her. As he got close she turned her head a bit so that his lips grazed her cheek, while she smiled as moved away. He stood shocked for a moment, staring at the carpet beneath them before turning around slowly and following her movement to the piano. She picked up a photo as she stared at it, looking at the happy family they once were. John, Brady, Belle, & her….what had happened to them? She placed it down and looked at John, who still seemed somewhat shocked at her lack of affection.
He bit his lip and shook his head for a second before placing his hands in front of him and cracking his knuckles. “You look really good?” He smiled as he noticed her outfit, her form fitting black pants that hugged her body like you wouldn’t believe. Out of all the years he had known her, Marlena never dressed as good as she did now….she was always in suits…very professional…but now she was more casual and boy did she look good? His eyes traveled up her low rise black pants, her black belt….her white button down top tucked into her pants…she had the first few buttons unbuttoned and just enough to drive him insane. Her blonde hair was a bit longer, but layered and styled beautifully…her make-up, flawless. She was thin….since she had caught her amnesia, she had lost weight but now…she was thinner then he had ever seen her. He wanted her….he needed her. She had to be about 115 pounds…maybe 120….but definitely no more then that. And with her tall slender frame….she was the perfect woman. She smiled at him as she walked a bit closer to him.
“Thank you….I feel kind of sloppy right now actually.” She giggled as John shook his head.
“You definitely don’t look it. How was the trip?” He asked as she gave a nod and crossed her arms in front of her.
“Not too bad….work…relaxed….got my mind together….Which leads me to….” Marlena began to speak when a sound went off in the kitchen. She turned her head towards the sound and then back at John who held up one finger.
“Oh hold that thought….I will be right back.” John smiled as he took off towards the kitchen, while Marlena sighed and dropped her head for a moment. She needed to tell him….now was the time…but she wrestled with the idea of hurting him. After moments of fighting with her thoughts….she sucked it up and walked off to the kitchen.
“John!” She called out as she reached the kitchen and noticed all the work he had done. Dishes were covered in food, glasses of wine, candles on the table…everything was prepared. Her mouth dropped in astonishment, she quickly burst into tears…hiding her face in her hands. John walked up to her and pulled her body to his, holding her close as he let her continue on with her tears. “Ohh John…you didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to….I wanted my baby to eat….and she must eat only the best.” He smiled as he leaned down and took her lips in a kiss, this time succeeding without her turning away. She let him kiss her; truth is she wanted his kiss just as bad. The kiss became deeper as John probed his tongue past her lips and into her mouth as a moan escaped from her. Slowly they backed into the counter as John’s hands began to roam her body…slowly, longingly, passionately. She felt his hands run down her waist and her mind became clouded with lust, want, desire….she couldn’t think straight. Within moments, the kiss had ended as Marlena pulled away, slowly turning away from him. A tremendous guilt crept over her body as she fought with notion of losing him….words that she was about to tell him.
John took a deep breath as his hands ran through his short dark hair, while he gave a tired sigh. “Marlena, help me out here….Tell me what’s wrong? Was it something I said? Did I do something to upset you? If I did I am sorry….look I know we agreed on waiting till it was right for us to make love…and trust me I am not trying to pressure you….but what was ever wrong with a little kiss here and there.” John asked as she slowly turned and looked at him.
“It’s not that John. It’s not your fault…its mine…all mine. You are the most perfect man I know…I don’t deserve you….I really don’t. When you kissed me….I wanted you…just as bad as you want me…but we can’t.” She whispered as John walked over to her.
“Why sweetie?” He asked as he reached for her face, holding her to him.
“Because…making love will only complicate things…and right now….its kind of complicated.” She cried as she tried to hide her face and remove it from his grip.
“How is it complicated? Baby, if you don’t want to make love…that is fine….but how long do you want to wait? Another week…a month….hmmmm? We have to talk about this?” John asked softly as he tried to move in to kiss her but she backed away.
“There is nothing to talk about when it comes to that issue because….God…How can I tell you this….” Marlena said quietly as she pulled away from his grip and backed up to the counter.
“What? Tell me what? Is everything okay?”
She dropped her head as she mumbled out. “No it’s not,” She took a deep breath and looked up into his face. “I want a separation. I think I need some time to myself for a while. I’m sorry….the last thing I want to do is hurt you….but I can’t live like this? I’m sorry John ….” She cried as she took off running out the kitchen, leaving a stunned John behind.
Devastation, Deception, Desperation & Desire
The ring blared loudly through the elevator as Marlena watched the doors open and her private lobby, appear in front of her. She bit her lip as she slowly took a step forward and exited the cart, pulling her luggage with her and adjusting the bags on her shoulder. She fumbled for her keys in her bag, her hand searching blindly for the cool metal, hoping to find them sometime soon, but also silently thanking for the delay. After finally finding them, she walked up to the door and placed her key into the slot, turning it slowly and pushing down on the handle. The smell of the penthouse filled her senses; the familiarity of it all, scented candles, flowers, even her smell was present….she was home….but as she looked around….it didn’t feel like home. It was a house, a house they lived in, a house they shared things within, a house John shared with another woman while Marlena watched in desperation. This wasn’t their home or even her home….it was nothing to her at this very moment, and that’s what scared her to death. She slowly placed down her bags and keys, adjusting her shirt once more before looking around for John.
John was in the kitchen when he thought he had heard a noise, but quickly dismissed it when he took a quick glance at the clock, realizing it was still a bit early. He continued to finish his task when he remembered something he forgot. He was suppose to light some candles so when she got home, it would be warm and welcoming. Gently putting down the knife, he wiped his hands on a dish rag and walked out of the kitchen. As soon as reached the doorway, he felt her presence, her smell…he knew she was home. He hurriedly made his way into the living room and saw her standing there. She was about to walk to the kitchen as well when they both stopped dead in their tracks as Marlena smiled widely, as John ran up to her and pulled her into his arms.
“Oh baby….you’re home. Oh God I have missed you so much.” John said longingly as he brought her body closer then before, while Marlena slowly batted at the tears that fell down from her eyes.
“I missed you too honey.”
John slightly let go of her body as he pulled back just enough to look into her eyes. “Why didn’t you say you were home?” Marlena smiled as she gave a small shrug before pulling at his hands, trying to release his grip a bit more.
“I thought maybe surprising you would be better. What were you doing back there?” She smiled as John reached for her again, pulling her close enough to kiss her. As he got close she turned her head a bit so that his lips grazed her cheek, while she smiled as moved away. He stood shocked for a moment, staring at the carpet beneath them before turning around slowly and following her movement to the piano. She picked up a photo as she stared at it, looking at the happy family they once were. John, Brady, Belle, & her….what had happened to them? She placed it down and looked at John, who still seemed somewhat shocked at her lack of affection.
He bit his lip and shook his head for a second before placing his hands in front of him and cracking his knuckles. “You look really good?” He smiled as he noticed her outfit, her form fitting black pants that hugged her body like you wouldn’t believe. Out of all the years he had known her, Marlena never dressed as good as she did now….she was always in suits…very professional…but now she was more casual and boy did she look good? His eyes traveled up her low rise black pants, her black belt….her white button down top tucked into her pants…she had the first few buttons unbuttoned and just enough to drive him insane. Her blonde hair was a bit longer, but layered and styled beautifully…her make-up, flawless. She was thin….since she had caught her amnesia, she had lost weight but now…she was thinner then he had ever seen her. He wanted her….he needed her. She had to be about 115 pounds…maybe 120….but definitely no more then that. And with her tall slender frame….she was the perfect woman. She smiled at him as she walked a bit closer to him.
“Thank you….I feel kind of sloppy right now actually.” She giggled as John shook his head.
“You definitely don’t look it. How was the trip?” He asked as she gave a nod and crossed her arms in front of her.
“Not too bad….work…relaxed….got my mind together….Which leads me to….” Marlena began to speak when a sound went off in the kitchen. She turned her head towards the sound and then back at John who held up one finger.
“Oh hold that thought….I will be right back.” John smiled as he took off towards the kitchen, while Marlena sighed and dropped her head for a moment. She needed to tell him….now was the time…but she wrestled with the idea of hurting him. After moments of fighting with her thoughts….she sucked it up and walked off to the kitchen.
“John!” She called out as she reached the kitchen and noticed all the work he had done. Dishes were covered in food, glasses of wine, candles on the table…everything was prepared. Her mouth dropped in astonishment, she quickly burst into tears…hiding her face in her hands. John walked up to her and pulled her body to his, holding her close as he let her continue on with her tears. “Ohh John…you didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to….I wanted my baby to eat….and she must eat only the best.” He smiled as he leaned down and took her lips in a kiss, this time succeeding without her turning away. She let him kiss her; truth is she wanted his kiss just as bad. The kiss became deeper as John probed his tongue past her lips and into her mouth as a moan escaped from her. Slowly they backed into the counter as John’s hands began to roam her body…slowly, longingly, passionately. She felt his hands run down her waist and her mind became clouded with lust, want, desire….she couldn’t think straight. Within moments, the kiss had ended as Marlena pulled away, slowly turning away from him. A tremendous guilt crept over her body as she fought with notion of losing him….words that she was about to tell him.
John took a deep breath as his hands ran through his short dark hair, while he gave a tired sigh. “Marlena, help me out here….Tell me what’s wrong? Was it something I said? Did I do something to upset you? If I did I am sorry….look I know we agreed on waiting till it was right for us to make love…and trust me I am not trying to pressure you….but what was ever wrong with a little kiss here and there.” John asked as she slowly turned and looked at him.
“It’s not that John. It’s not your fault…its mine…all mine. You are the most perfect man I know…I don’t deserve you….I really don’t. When you kissed me….I wanted you…just as bad as you want me…but we can’t.” She whispered as John walked over to her.
“Why sweetie?” He asked as he reached for her face, holding her to him.
“Because…making love will only complicate things…and right now….its kind of complicated.” She cried as she tried to hide her face and remove it from his grip.
“How is it complicated? Baby, if you don’t want to make love…that is fine….but how long do you want to wait? Another week…a month….hmmmm? We have to talk about this?” John asked softly as he tried to move in to kiss her but she backed away.
“There is nothing to talk about when it comes to that issue because….God…How can I tell you this….” Marlena said quietly as she pulled away from his grip and backed up to the counter.
“What? Tell me what? Is everything okay?”
She dropped her head as she mumbled out. “No it’s not,” She took a deep breath and looked up into his face. “I want a separation. I think I need some time to myself for a while. I’m sorry….the last thing I want to do is hurt you….but I can’t live like this? I’m sorry John ….” She cried as she took off running out the kitchen, leaving a stunned John behind.