Post by Melissa on Aug 18, 2006 16:29:54 GMT -5
A House That Is Not Our Home 3
A Little Agony, Some Despair, & A Whole Lot Of Pleasure
John stood quietly in the kitchen, staring at the ground and trying to comprehend what had just happened. They were fine from what he could tell….everything seemed to be getting back to normal with them…for the first time in a long time….there was hope again…and then there is this. He bit his lower lip as he took off after her and left the kitchen, quickly running into the living room. He noticed as she began to run up the stairs and quickly ran after her, calling her name as she picked up the pace while sobbing harder.
“I am so sorry John…please try and understand.” She cried as she continued to hop the stairs. John finally got a hold of her as she reached the top and grabbed her by her arm, pinning her against the wall and forcing her to look at him.
“What the hell is going on? Why would you want this?” He demanded, desperate to find out her answer for this chaotic decision she made. She knew this was not going to be taken lightly but she didn’t expect him to be so aggressive either. She tried to move her arm from his grip but he pressed harder and forced her back into the wall.
“John…you’re hurting me….please let go.” She cried as she tried to push him off once more.
“Not until you explain what the hell is going on here.” John pleaded as he slightly released his tight grip on her arm, but not releasing her just yet.
“Fine….Just let go of me for a minute…please….” She begged as John finally released his grip, causing Marlena to give a sigh in relief. She dropped her gaze to her arm and rubbed it lightly before turning her gaze to her husbands face. “John, honey….I still love you so very much…you know I do. I want nothing more then to live my life with you.”
“BUT!!!! SEPERATION, isn’t really the key to a long lasting marriage MARLENA!” John shouted as he cut her off. She closed her eyes for a moment, trapping the tears in her eyes before continuing on with her reasoning.
“John…I know….please just let me finish. I am not doing this to hurt you….I swear I am not.”
“NO YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO CHEER ME UP RIGHT!” John shouted again as Marlena flinched back, unable to handle this anymore.
“John….please….I love you….I have always loved you…I still am so very much in love with you. You have to believe me when I tell you that.” She cried as she tried to reach for him but he stepped back.
He turned his face, breathing heavily as he tried to control his rage. He wanted to strangle her, for the stupidity that was running through her mind, that caused her to do this…think this. “You know Marlena….I have done everything for you….been fair to you…treated you well….gave you everything could possibly think of…”
“I know you have John….” Marlena cried harder as she tried to go by him but he pushed her hands away.
“And this is how you repay me….by not wanting to be with me. If you didn’t want anything to do with me then why would you continue to live this life with me….lead me to believe that there is nothing wrong with this marriage? I know that the amnesia was not your fault….It was mine…and for that I am so sorry! But how could you be thinking this….if you don’t need me or don’t want me…why didn’t you just say so after Alex!” John debated as he felt the tears fall from his eyes. He turned away, preparing to go back downstairs when she reached for his arm and pulled him back.
“John wait…please! Don’t do this…don’t leave like this….you didn’t even let me explain….please.” She begged as he yanked his arm away from her grasp.
“You didn’t feel the need to explain when you broke the news in the kitchen and took off running. You go ahead and do what the hell you want to do…Obviously I mean shit to you and you couldn’t care less about what I think anyway.” John spat as he took off down the stairs. Marlena placed her hand over her eyes as if trying to stop the tears from falling as the sobs poured out of her. After a minute, she ran down the stairs and after him and she once again reached out and grabbed him.
“Please….let me explain why? Don’t do this to me John….please let me explain to you.” She sobbed as John pushed her hands away once more, holding his hands up, silently telling her to keep her distance from him. She gave a simple nod as she wiped the tears from her eyes and sat down slowly on the couch, wrapping her arms around her waist and rocking slowly. John took a deep breath as he turned back and walked to the balcony windows…glancing out at the bright city.
“Explain why?” He whispered as she sniffed back some tears and gave a nod. She opened her mouth to speak and couldn’t find any words to say. Dropping her head into her hands, she cried silently before mumbling out a few words.
“Only God knows how much I love you….and this is the last thing I want. But…lately I have been so confused…not about my love for you…I could never be confused about that. But about the way I was treated by Alex….how I let myself fall under his power. I was never that type of woman….I never could have been and that is what scares me. I allowed myself to get mistreated, and I had no power over that. I just need some space to understand what is going on with me John….not for our marriage…for me.” She spoke quietly as John closed his eyes and let his head fall onto the glass.
“Is it my turn to talk now?” He asked as she cleared her throat a bit.
“No….I am not done…I still want you….I still need you…I still depend on you. You are the reason I am here today…you are my whole life baby….without you I can not possibly be the woman I am today.” She whispered as she stood up and walked over to him slowly. Carefully, as if testing a bath water that was too hot, she placed her hands on his back and leaned in by his ear. “I am so in love with you….I never want to be apart from you. This separation is just for me to clear my mind….not because I want out of this marriage…this relationship. I need you just as much as you need me. Please try and understand that I would never push you away. Can you understand what I am saying?” She asked as she leaned her head against the stiff muscles in his back.
Slowly he turned around as he held her back and looked into her eyes. “Are you finished?” He asked as she gave a light nod and dropped her gaze to her hands in front of her. “Good…cause now its my turn to talk.”
A Little Agony, Some Despair, & A Whole Lot Of Pleasure
John stood quietly in the kitchen, staring at the ground and trying to comprehend what had just happened. They were fine from what he could tell….everything seemed to be getting back to normal with them…for the first time in a long time….there was hope again…and then there is this. He bit his lower lip as he took off after her and left the kitchen, quickly running into the living room. He noticed as she began to run up the stairs and quickly ran after her, calling her name as she picked up the pace while sobbing harder.
“I am so sorry John…please try and understand.” She cried as she continued to hop the stairs. John finally got a hold of her as she reached the top and grabbed her by her arm, pinning her against the wall and forcing her to look at him.
“What the hell is going on? Why would you want this?” He demanded, desperate to find out her answer for this chaotic decision she made. She knew this was not going to be taken lightly but she didn’t expect him to be so aggressive either. She tried to move her arm from his grip but he pressed harder and forced her back into the wall.
“John…you’re hurting me….please let go.” She cried as she tried to push him off once more.
“Not until you explain what the hell is going on here.” John pleaded as he slightly released his tight grip on her arm, but not releasing her just yet.
“Fine….Just let go of me for a minute…please….” She begged as John finally released his grip, causing Marlena to give a sigh in relief. She dropped her gaze to her arm and rubbed it lightly before turning her gaze to her husbands face. “John, honey….I still love you so very much…you know I do. I want nothing more then to live my life with you.”
“BUT!!!! SEPERATION, isn’t really the key to a long lasting marriage MARLENA!” John shouted as he cut her off. She closed her eyes for a moment, trapping the tears in her eyes before continuing on with her reasoning.
“John…I know….please just let me finish. I am not doing this to hurt you….I swear I am not.”
“NO YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO CHEER ME UP RIGHT!” John shouted again as Marlena flinched back, unable to handle this anymore.
“John….please….I love you….I have always loved you…I still am so very much in love with you. You have to believe me when I tell you that.” She cried as she tried to reach for him but he stepped back.
He turned his face, breathing heavily as he tried to control his rage. He wanted to strangle her, for the stupidity that was running through her mind, that caused her to do this…think this. “You know Marlena….I have done everything for you….been fair to you…treated you well….gave you everything could possibly think of…”
“I know you have John….” Marlena cried harder as she tried to go by him but he pushed her hands away.
“And this is how you repay me….by not wanting to be with me. If you didn’t want anything to do with me then why would you continue to live this life with me….lead me to believe that there is nothing wrong with this marriage? I know that the amnesia was not your fault….It was mine…and for that I am so sorry! But how could you be thinking this….if you don’t need me or don’t want me…why didn’t you just say so after Alex!” John debated as he felt the tears fall from his eyes. He turned away, preparing to go back downstairs when she reached for his arm and pulled him back.
“John wait…please! Don’t do this…don’t leave like this….you didn’t even let me explain….please.” She begged as he yanked his arm away from her grasp.
“You didn’t feel the need to explain when you broke the news in the kitchen and took off running. You go ahead and do what the hell you want to do…Obviously I mean shit to you and you couldn’t care less about what I think anyway.” John spat as he took off down the stairs. Marlena placed her hand over her eyes as if trying to stop the tears from falling as the sobs poured out of her. After a minute, she ran down the stairs and after him and she once again reached out and grabbed him.
“Please….let me explain why? Don’t do this to me John….please let me explain to you.” She sobbed as John pushed her hands away once more, holding his hands up, silently telling her to keep her distance from him. She gave a simple nod as she wiped the tears from her eyes and sat down slowly on the couch, wrapping her arms around her waist and rocking slowly. John took a deep breath as he turned back and walked to the balcony windows…glancing out at the bright city.
“Explain why?” He whispered as she sniffed back some tears and gave a nod. She opened her mouth to speak and couldn’t find any words to say. Dropping her head into her hands, she cried silently before mumbling out a few words.
“Only God knows how much I love you….and this is the last thing I want. But…lately I have been so confused…not about my love for you…I could never be confused about that. But about the way I was treated by Alex….how I let myself fall under his power. I was never that type of woman….I never could have been and that is what scares me. I allowed myself to get mistreated, and I had no power over that. I just need some space to understand what is going on with me John….not for our marriage…for me.” She spoke quietly as John closed his eyes and let his head fall onto the glass.
“Is it my turn to talk now?” He asked as she cleared her throat a bit.
“No….I am not done…I still want you….I still need you…I still depend on you. You are the reason I am here today…you are my whole life baby….without you I can not possibly be the woman I am today.” She whispered as she stood up and walked over to him slowly. Carefully, as if testing a bath water that was too hot, she placed her hands on his back and leaned in by his ear. “I am so in love with you….I never want to be apart from you. This separation is just for me to clear my mind….not because I want out of this marriage…this relationship. I need you just as much as you need me. Please try and understand that I would never push you away. Can you understand what I am saying?” She asked as she leaned her head against the stiff muscles in his back.
Slowly he turned around as he held her back and looked into her eyes. “Are you finished?” He asked as she gave a light nod and dropped her gaze to her hands in front of her. “Good…cause now its my turn to talk.”