Post by kris1907 on Aug 22, 2006 16:15:07 GMT -5
Chapter 5
John looks over at his wife and can’t help himself as his hand glides over to gently remove a piece of hair from her eyes. His eyes move from the road to her peaceful face, “Everything will be alright Doc.” He slows his truck and makes an easy right hand turn, but does not accelerate until he sees Belle’s SUV do the same. His eyes check the road ahead of them, before grabbing his phone and pushing send.
“Yes father?”
“Don’t mock me. Just checking in on how you are doing. Need a rest?”
“No, we’re good. Claire and I are just singing. How’s mom?”
He quickly glances back over to his right, “Sleeping still. We don’t have too much further to go- you are using speaker phone right?”
“Yes, dad. Both of my hands are on the wheel.”
“Just checking. So are you good for about another thirty or so minutes?”
“Pearl Jam time- so we’re just fine. Talk to you again in ten minutes?”
“Ha ha... drive safely and call if you need something.”
“Got Pearl and twizzlers so I’m good. But the same goes for you, keep your eyes on the road.”
John tells his baby girl goodbye and hangs up the phone. His hand moves towards the radio, but stops as he hears, “How’s Belle doing? Does she need me to wake up?”
“No, she is just fine. Go back to sleep.”
Marlena sits up, stretching and letting a tired groan escape her lips, “No, I’m good now.” Letting out another yawn, she looks at the scenery around her, “Where are we?”
“We just entered the grounds, so we’ve got about twenty or thirty minutes to the cabin.”
Turning around to see Belle’s car, “Are you sure she’s okay? Its so dark out.”
“You may call her if you’d like to, but she is sick of hearing from me.” John pats his wife’s thigh to get her to turn back around, “She is just fine. We’re going slow, I’ll even slow down a bit more and we are almost there.”
“Okay... okay. I’m just nervous.”
“Don’t be please.” He makes eye contact with her briefly, “Right now nobody is worrying. I’ll let you know when to start again.”
“You know...” Her statement dies out as quickly as it had begun. He cocks an eyebrow at her and waits for her to continue.
When she doesn’t, John collects her hand in his own and squeezes it, “Doc, your hand is freezing. Are you cold?” He drops her hand for a moment to reach over and turn up the heat, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.” Grabbing her hand again, he pulls it over to his leg and begins to rub it gently between the material of his jeans and his hand. “What were you going to say before?”
“Nothing.”
“Doc...”
She smiles up at him, “It was nothing, really.”
“I know that isn’t true, so why don’t you tell me what you were thinking.”
“I’m just so very happy right now. Which is horrible to say because my life, our lives are so out of control right now but I finally feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.”
“Me too. But there is something more.”
Marlena sighs and looks out the window at the passing trees, “You know me too well and I love that. Thank god.” She stays silent as she thinks through her jumbled thoughts, “I am just happy that you keep saying ‘we’ and ‘us’ and not you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You aren’t cutting me out of all of this. This chaos. Everything with Alex. I still don’t know if he is as evil as you think, but I can see why you think it and I am ready to help you figure this all out. I’m just glad that you aren’t trying to shove me in a closet and leave me there while you save the world.”
“Not the whole world... just mine.” He quickly steals a glance from her, “Just saving my world. And no, I have learned over the years, learned the hard way actually, that I don’t leave you out. Actually, we seem to get in more trouble when I do, because you tend to do your own thing and come after me.” John smiles as he hears her slight laugh and can’t wait to finally be free from all the stress and fear, so that they both can share just one truly happy laugh again. “I will, of course, be focused on keeping you safe. And you will, of course, agree to listen to what I say and not go running off, like you like to do. Hey now...”
Marlena repeats her disinterested sound, while readjusting her feet so that one comes up and tucks underneath her thigh, “I am not a dog, John. I won’t sit when told to.”
“Even for a treat?”
Pushing on his arm, “Don’t you dare, John Black. Don’t even...”
“I gotcha. No direct orders. But promise that you won’t go off by yourself, for any reason. We’ll do this together. Work together here, but I need you to trust me. I won’t smother you, but I won’t leave you unprotected either.”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“Promise me.”
Marlena turns and smiles gently, “I promise. You keep me involved, no secrets, and I won’t do anything that you’ll hate.”
“Fair enough.”
Their ride continues in relative silence. Another call into Belle to check on her alertness allows both parents to breath easier. Marlena has not uttered another word since her promise, as her eyes focus on the passing trees. She stares, fixated on the blurry scenery and occasionally her tired mind creates images out of those dark branches. She thinks of nothing in particular, but allows her mind to take its own journey through once forgotten memories. So many images of kids playing at the park, the woods surrounding their games of soccer and tag.
These particular trees, she knows, holds their own memories of two friends turned enemies turned lovers. She sees herself, that pink jacket so worn out and torn. She sees herself limping through the trees, tripping over fallen branches and uprooted roots. But just as quickly, she sees herself walking out of those trees, tucked securely underneath a protective arm.
Not caring if the words that are about to slip through her lips are allowed or not, Marlena asks, “Do you ever think about what might have happened if we didn’t come here?”
“Huh?”
“Have you ever wondered what might of happened to us if we had never come here the first time around?”
“Uh...” She waits, knowing that he is tossing that question around in his brain, “No, I guess not. Guess I always figured that somehow we would of ended up here.”
“Really? If we hadn’t tried to figure out your past by coming here, we would never have found out that you were Roman... well... you know what I mean.”
“You don’t think we would have stumbled upon that at some point? Plus, I had everybody on my ass, trying to kill me at that point.”
“True. But if we handled it all in Salem...”
“What are you truly tossing around that mind of yours Doc? You have something burning a hole.”
“Just thinking about the past. Choices that I have made. Ones that I might take back, if ever given the opportunity. But was thinking about you and... well us and” She talks fast, so that John will not interrupt her and take them on a different verbal path, “if we never ended up here, never found out that you were Roman... what would have happened to us. If you had always been John Black.”
“I wouldn’t have lost you.”
Marlena makes a sound that signals her confusion, but she goes silent when she sees the absolute certainty upon his face, “You have thought about this before.”
“Well, have always wondered what would be different if I had never been labeled as Roman Brady- sure. I have thought about it.”
“Then what do you mean you would never have lost me?”
“If I was never Roman, Orpheus would never had a reason to take you. You would never have been taken. I would never had to have mourned and you would never have lost those years.”
The force of his voice surprises her, but she keeps her voice even, wanting to continue this conversation, “There is more to it. More to your statement of lost.”
His jaw tightens and for a moment, Marlena thinks he will back off the conversation. He takes in a deep breath, but before she can change the subject, his voice fills the car once again, “The way I see it is, I was attracted to you. Infatuated actually and fell in love with you before I knew I was Roman. I wanted you in my life. And I think the John Black charm was working on you.”
“Boy was it.”
John throws her a lopsided grin and continues, “So if no Roman or West Virginia, I figure that you would have continued to help me find my past and I would keep trying to make you live your life. So together, we would have filled that empty spot in our lives and hearts. Gotten together, gotten married, had a baby or two and if Roman ever did come back, I wouldn’t have lost you or my family to him.”
“A perfect life.”
“Yeah.”
“But think of all of the things that would be different, no Brady. No Belle.”
“See, that’s where the what if game is not fair. If we had lived that life, I wouldn’t have known anything about the possibility of Brady or Belle... we would have had other children together and that would have been awesome. But me saying this, doesn’t mean I would willingly sacrifice Belle and Brady or our memories together for it. When talking what ifs, you can’t bring reality into it, its just not fair.”
They share a smile, as Marlena nods her agreement. “Its probably the one thing I have wondered about the most over the years...”
“What?”
“How long it would have taken me to drop my defenses and dated you and how far, how outrageous would you have been to get me to go out with you. Sign-in and sign-out sheet and all.”
Joining in her hearty laugh, “Hey, I still stand by that thing. Kept you alive.”
“Only because you kept coming after me to get me to sign it and then happened to be there to protect me. Not because the system worked.”
“It worked in its own little way.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“That system was remarkable and once I got it all in place it started to-“ His voice fades off as his eyes catch on the building in front of him, “There it is. Call Belle and let her know, if you would please.”
He can’t help but smile as he listens to her voice and pulls along side a small cabin that is to become home to the four of them for the next couple of days.
John looks over at his wife and can’t help himself as his hand glides over to gently remove a piece of hair from her eyes. His eyes move from the road to her peaceful face, “Everything will be alright Doc.” He slows his truck and makes an easy right hand turn, but does not accelerate until he sees Belle’s SUV do the same. His eyes check the road ahead of them, before grabbing his phone and pushing send.
“Yes father?”
“Don’t mock me. Just checking in on how you are doing. Need a rest?”
“No, we’re good. Claire and I are just singing. How’s mom?”
He quickly glances back over to his right, “Sleeping still. We don’t have too much further to go- you are using speaker phone right?”
“Yes, dad. Both of my hands are on the wheel.”
“Just checking. So are you good for about another thirty or so minutes?”
“Pearl Jam time- so we’re just fine. Talk to you again in ten minutes?”
“Ha ha... drive safely and call if you need something.”
“Got Pearl and twizzlers so I’m good. But the same goes for you, keep your eyes on the road.”
John tells his baby girl goodbye and hangs up the phone. His hand moves towards the radio, but stops as he hears, “How’s Belle doing? Does she need me to wake up?”
“No, she is just fine. Go back to sleep.”
Marlena sits up, stretching and letting a tired groan escape her lips, “No, I’m good now.” Letting out another yawn, she looks at the scenery around her, “Where are we?”
“We just entered the grounds, so we’ve got about twenty or thirty minutes to the cabin.”
Turning around to see Belle’s car, “Are you sure she’s okay? Its so dark out.”
“You may call her if you’d like to, but she is sick of hearing from me.” John pats his wife’s thigh to get her to turn back around, “She is just fine. We’re going slow, I’ll even slow down a bit more and we are almost there.”
“Okay... okay. I’m just nervous.”
“Don’t be please.” He makes eye contact with her briefly, “Right now nobody is worrying. I’ll let you know when to start again.”
“You know...” Her statement dies out as quickly as it had begun. He cocks an eyebrow at her and waits for her to continue.
When she doesn’t, John collects her hand in his own and squeezes it, “Doc, your hand is freezing. Are you cold?” He drops her hand for a moment to reach over and turn up the heat, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.” Grabbing her hand again, he pulls it over to his leg and begins to rub it gently between the material of his jeans and his hand. “What were you going to say before?”
“Nothing.”
“Doc...”
She smiles up at him, “It was nothing, really.”
“I know that isn’t true, so why don’t you tell me what you were thinking.”
“I’m just so very happy right now. Which is horrible to say because my life, our lives are so out of control right now but I finally feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.”
“Me too. But there is something more.”
Marlena sighs and looks out the window at the passing trees, “You know me too well and I love that. Thank god.” She stays silent as she thinks through her jumbled thoughts, “I am just happy that you keep saying ‘we’ and ‘us’ and not you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You aren’t cutting me out of all of this. This chaos. Everything with Alex. I still don’t know if he is as evil as you think, but I can see why you think it and I am ready to help you figure this all out. I’m just glad that you aren’t trying to shove me in a closet and leave me there while you save the world.”
“Not the whole world... just mine.” He quickly steals a glance from her, “Just saving my world. And no, I have learned over the years, learned the hard way actually, that I don’t leave you out. Actually, we seem to get in more trouble when I do, because you tend to do your own thing and come after me.” John smiles as he hears her slight laugh and can’t wait to finally be free from all the stress and fear, so that they both can share just one truly happy laugh again. “I will, of course, be focused on keeping you safe. And you will, of course, agree to listen to what I say and not go running off, like you like to do. Hey now...”
Marlena repeats her disinterested sound, while readjusting her feet so that one comes up and tucks underneath her thigh, “I am not a dog, John. I won’t sit when told to.”
“Even for a treat?”
Pushing on his arm, “Don’t you dare, John Black. Don’t even...”
“I gotcha. No direct orders. But promise that you won’t go off by yourself, for any reason. We’ll do this together. Work together here, but I need you to trust me. I won’t smother you, but I won’t leave you unprotected either.”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“Promise me.”
Marlena turns and smiles gently, “I promise. You keep me involved, no secrets, and I won’t do anything that you’ll hate.”
“Fair enough.”
Their ride continues in relative silence. Another call into Belle to check on her alertness allows both parents to breath easier. Marlena has not uttered another word since her promise, as her eyes focus on the passing trees. She stares, fixated on the blurry scenery and occasionally her tired mind creates images out of those dark branches. She thinks of nothing in particular, but allows her mind to take its own journey through once forgotten memories. So many images of kids playing at the park, the woods surrounding their games of soccer and tag.
These particular trees, she knows, holds their own memories of two friends turned enemies turned lovers. She sees herself, that pink jacket so worn out and torn. She sees herself limping through the trees, tripping over fallen branches and uprooted roots. But just as quickly, she sees herself walking out of those trees, tucked securely underneath a protective arm.
Not caring if the words that are about to slip through her lips are allowed or not, Marlena asks, “Do you ever think about what might have happened if we didn’t come here?”
“Huh?”
“Have you ever wondered what might of happened to us if we had never come here the first time around?”
“Uh...” She waits, knowing that he is tossing that question around in his brain, “No, I guess not. Guess I always figured that somehow we would of ended up here.”
“Really? If we hadn’t tried to figure out your past by coming here, we would never have found out that you were Roman... well... you know what I mean.”
“You don’t think we would have stumbled upon that at some point? Plus, I had everybody on my ass, trying to kill me at that point.”
“True. But if we handled it all in Salem...”
“What are you truly tossing around that mind of yours Doc? You have something burning a hole.”
“Just thinking about the past. Choices that I have made. Ones that I might take back, if ever given the opportunity. But was thinking about you and... well us and” She talks fast, so that John will not interrupt her and take them on a different verbal path, “if we never ended up here, never found out that you were Roman... what would have happened to us. If you had always been John Black.”
“I wouldn’t have lost you.”
Marlena makes a sound that signals her confusion, but she goes silent when she sees the absolute certainty upon his face, “You have thought about this before.”
“Well, have always wondered what would be different if I had never been labeled as Roman Brady- sure. I have thought about it.”
“Then what do you mean you would never have lost me?”
“If I was never Roman, Orpheus would never had a reason to take you. You would never have been taken. I would never had to have mourned and you would never have lost those years.”
The force of his voice surprises her, but she keeps her voice even, wanting to continue this conversation, “There is more to it. More to your statement of lost.”
His jaw tightens and for a moment, Marlena thinks he will back off the conversation. He takes in a deep breath, but before she can change the subject, his voice fills the car once again, “The way I see it is, I was attracted to you. Infatuated actually and fell in love with you before I knew I was Roman. I wanted you in my life. And I think the John Black charm was working on you.”
“Boy was it.”
John throws her a lopsided grin and continues, “So if no Roman or West Virginia, I figure that you would have continued to help me find my past and I would keep trying to make you live your life. So together, we would have filled that empty spot in our lives and hearts. Gotten together, gotten married, had a baby or two and if Roman ever did come back, I wouldn’t have lost you or my family to him.”
“A perfect life.”
“Yeah.”
“But think of all of the things that would be different, no Brady. No Belle.”
“See, that’s where the what if game is not fair. If we had lived that life, I wouldn’t have known anything about the possibility of Brady or Belle... we would have had other children together and that would have been awesome. But me saying this, doesn’t mean I would willingly sacrifice Belle and Brady or our memories together for it. When talking what ifs, you can’t bring reality into it, its just not fair.”
They share a smile, as Marlena nods her agreement. “Its probably the one thing I have wondered about the most over the years...”
“What?”
“How long it would have taken me to drop my defenses and dated you and how far, how outrageous would you have been to get me to go out with you. Sign-in and sign-out sheet and all.”
Joining in her hearty laugh, “Hey, I still stand by that thing. Kept you alive.”
“Only because you kept coming after me to get me to sign it and then happened to be there to protect me. Not because the system worked.”
“It worked in its own little way.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“That system was remarkable and once I got it all in place it started to-“ His voice fades off as his eyes catch on the building in front of him, “There it is. Call Belle and let her know, if you would please.”
He can’t help but smile as he listens to her voice and pulls along side a small cabin that is to become home to the four of them for the next couple of days.