Post by Mimi on Aug 18, 2006 10:27:55 GMT -5
“What the hell is going on?” John asked as he walked into the room, alarmed by the sight of his wife crying in the arms of another man. Marlena was visibly trembling on the bed.
“Doc, talk to me,” John pleaded with her as he made his way around the bed and sat down next to her. She immediately moved over so that she was closer to Roman. The moment was lost on John. He assumed that she moved so that she could give him more space on the bed. “Something has upset you and I’d like to know what it is.”
How do you tell a man that you are supposed to love more than anything in the world that you are having thoughts of him doing bad things to you? How do you do that? How do you do that when you don’t know if what you’re feeling and seeing is real? How can you purposely break someone’s heart because you know deep down, that’s what its going to do? Marlena looked up at John with tears in her eyes and knew that she couldn’t tell him the truth. A part of her loved him so much that she could never be the one to cause him pain. Better to be the bitch than the tormenter.
“Nothing,” she said as she closed her eyes tightly and began to cry again. John moved to take Marlena in his arms and comfort her. “No…no,” Marlena cried out. “No…please…don’t...” John continued to hold onto her, grabbing her arms, attempting to calm her down. “No,” Marlena cried out again as she tried to get out of his grasp. Roman watched helplessly, not wanting to interfere.
“Marlena, either you or Roman are going to tell me what’s going on…I walk in here to find my wife crying in the arms of her ex-husband. I think I have every right to know what has you so upset.” John didn’t miss the look that passed between Marlena and Roman.
“I’ve been having memories,” Marlena said softly looking up at John. Love, adoration and concern was written all over his face. She loved him too much to hurt him. Better to lie than hurt.
“That’s good honey,” John said as he stroked her arm lightly. Even though blankets covered her, she still seemed so cold. “You’re remembering, that’s good…that’s nothing to be scared of.” John continued stroking her arms, moving towards her shoulders and neck.
“No…No…I just want it to stop,” Marlena screamed. John was taken aback by her sudden outburst. “I want it to stop…I don’t want these memories…I don’t want them.” She pulled on her blonde hair, as if trying to pull the memories out of her head. Roman slowly reached over and pulled her hands down. She was shaking.
“Marlena, it’s okay, honey…I’m here for you…Everything will be fine,” John said as he slowly bent down to kiss Marlena on the lips. Everything moved in slow motion for Marlena as she saw him lower his lips towards hers. She backed up against the bed trying desperately to put space between them. His proximity, the smell of his after shave, the blue of his eyes, was very real and too much for her. She needed to get away from him. As he touched her the slideshow in her head started again. Memories of her past flooded her mind. She saw the blueness in his eyes as he held her down on the bed…she felt her clothes being ripped from her body. She saw the whiteness of his teeth as he yelled at her…she felt the devastation of letting him down. She saw herself being held down by Kellam Chandler and John…she felt them enter her roughly. “Please no,” she begged John before he kissed her. She felt the bile rising in her throat; she couldn’t look at John. “You don’t want me to kiss you?” John asked, the devastation of the rejection evident on his face. Marlena was openly sobbing, trying to put some distance between her and John. Roman lowered the covers on the bed, giving Marlena some space.
“What’s wrong with you?” John asked tenderly, obviously torn by the anger he felt for Marlena and Roman and their ‘little secret’ and the sympathy he felt for her being in such obvious pain.
“Please, just go…I need to be alone,” she begged, as she laid on her side and held her arm over protectively over her stomach.
“No, I want to get to the bottom of this Marlena. This has gone on to long. I’ve played the sympathetic and understanding spouse long enough. Something is wrong. I can feel it and see it. Look, I love you…Let me help you.” John touched her chin gently with his fingers, tracing the line of her jaw. Marlena tried to hold the down her bile down as John touched her. She clenched her eyes shut and wished him away. ‘I’m okay… I’m okay’ she said to herself as the bile rose higher. She suddenly sat up and pushed Roman back as she got off the bed and ran into the bathroom. Roman sat back and watched as John ran after Marlena, shutting the door behind him. Roman closed his eyes and said a little prayer, asking God to give Marlena the strength to tell John the truth for once.
~~~~~
“Marlena, honey, are you okay?” John asked as he rubbed Marlena’s back as she leaned over the commode. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to block out the harsh institutional light of the bathroom. The sensation of John’s hands on her back was distracting. She felt his unconditional love in his touch, but her mind wouldn’t let her forget his sins. She felt the bile rise up in her throat again as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet.
“I’m fine,” she muttered as she wiped her mouth on the sleeve of her shirt. “I’ll be okay, I just need to lay down for a little while.” She hoped he got the hint and would leave her alone. She attempted to get up from the bathroom floor, taking John’s hand when he offered it to her. Roman was sitting on her bed when John and Marlena appeared from the bathroom. Roman could tell that his prayer hadn’t been answered, John didn’t know about the baby. Looking at Marlena’s form as she walked toward him, it wasn’t evident that she was pregnant. She just looked like she put on a little weight around the stomach, but wouldn’t be considered fat or pregnant looking by any means.
Roman got up off the bed, giving Marlena and John the space they needed. He didn’t like the role that Marlena was slowly casting him in; third party intermediary. He needed to get John out of the room and talk to him fast before things became even more wrong. John helped Marlena into bed and watched as she pulled up the covers, rolled onto her side and closed her eyes. She looked so pitiful and helpless. He resisted the urge to touch her.
“John, could I talk to you outside for a minute?” Roman asked upon seeing his opening.
“Could it wait?” John asked, the irritation obvious in his voice.
“Actually no, I need to talk to you right now,” Roman said with determination, using his eyes to gesture towards the door and to indicate to John that it was serious.
“Okay, Marlena we’ll be out in the hall if you need anything,” John said as he bent down and kissed the side of her face. Marlena lay motionless on the bed, her mind retreating to a place where no one could hurt her.
“What’s up?” John asked as soon as Roman closed the bedroom door.
“Not here,” Roman said as he led John down the hall to his room.
“Why are you being so secretive?” John asked as he followed Roman. He didn’t want to be having any conversation with Roman. He wanted to be with Marlena. “Because I know you and your temper and it’s the last thing that Marlena needs right now.” Roman opened the door to his room and walked in, John following behind him. He slowly closed the door and shut it tight before turning around and facing John.
“So are you finally going to be honest with me and tell me what the hell is going on with my wife? I saw the look that passed between you two in there. I know you’re keeping secrets and I want to know what the hell they are and I want to know now.” John’s voice slowly rose with each word he said. He didn’t mean for his frustration of the past four months to come out in one conversation.
“Calm down John, yelling is not going to get you anywhere,” Roman cautioned.
“Tell me now dammit,” John demanded.
“There are some things that have happened that you need to know about,” Roman began as he sat down on the sofa. He gestured for John to have a seat on the matching leather chair.
“What things,” John asked as he sat down.
“Marlena called Alex to come and get her,” Roman said, expecting John to explode in anger and go running out of the room. Instead John’s response somewhat shocked him.
“Okay,” John said as he brought his fingers to his mouth. “Okay….Why?” John was trying his hardest not to react to the news.
“She’s convinced that he can somehow help her…I think I’ve convinced her that she doesn’t need him now.”
“Damn straight she doesn’t…we’ve got to get her out of here. How long ago did she call?”
“A couple of hours ago I think…I’m not sure.”
“Why does she think that she needs him? Surely she knows of the danger?” John got up off of the chair and paced in front of the fireplace. He needed to think of how he could keep Marlena safe.
“Look John, you know that they share a past, that’s not a secret. He’s helped her in the past; she’s convinced that he can help her now. What you don’t know is that the last time he so called helped her, he majorly screwed with her mind and I was left to pick up the pieces,” Roman said as he thought back to that time. He never wanted to go there again.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” John asked. What else was Roman not telling him?
“Wasn’t my place to tell…”
“That’s bullshit…regardless of whatever loyalty you feel towards Marlena, you should have told me he was a quack…I should have been told that much because I sure as hell wouldn’t have let him go near my wife,” John said in anger as he stopped pacing in front of Roman and looked down at him.
“John, I didn’t know it was Alex?”
“What the hell do you mean you didn’t know it was Alex? You met him in the hospital when she woke up with amnesia.”
“What I mean is that I didn’t know that he was the one that treated her in the past. She never mentioned his name. If I’d have known that it was him, I would have never allowed him to treat her.”
“So what the hell did he do to her?” John asked, not wanting if he really wanted to know.
“I’m not sure of the specifics, but in my opinion he had her convinced her that life wasn’t worth living.”
“Man, she told me a couple of months ago that she’d tried to hurt herself in the past, but I had no idea that North was connected to her…my god, I left her alone with him…what kinds of things did he fill her mind with then? Is her behavior now a result of something North did to her at Green Mountain?” John formulated a trap for Dr. North in his mind. He was going to wait until North arrived and then kill him with his bare hands.
“John, you have to stop it…all these what ifs aren’t going to make her better. Look, she’s getting worse…I need to get her away from here before Dr. North arrives…If she sees him, she’s going to go with him,” Roman warned him.
“You’re right Roman…Let me call the pilot and have him get the plane ready. We can be out of here in thirty minutes,” John said as he took his cell phone out of his pocket and prepared to call the pilot.
“No, John…Marlena isn’t going to go with you.”
“What are you talking about pal.”
“Marlena isn’t going with you,” Roman repeated. “You’ll just make things worse…I’ve convinced her that she doesn’t need him...in order for her healing to occur I need you to trust me with her. She’s agreed to leave Alex out of it and let me help her.”
“She’s my wife Roman, mine, not yours…if anyone should be going with her, it should be me.”
“You’ll just make things worse John…She’s scared of you.” Roman looked down at the floor, wishing that he could just be a mere spot on the carpet and blend in.
“Scared of me? What the fuck?” John said in shock.
“Look John, there’s no easy way to say this, so I just will… she’s been having memories of you hurting her.”
“Hurting her? I’ve never laid a finger on her and never would…I adore and worship that woman…you know that…hell all of Salem knows that…I would die before I ever hurt her.” John’s voice held a hint of desperation. He couldn’t believe that Roman actually thought that he would hurt Marlena. He needed to make him believe that he wouldn’t. “Raping her.” Roman admitted, not able to look John in the eye.
“Doc, talk to me,” John pleaded with her as he made his way around the bed and sat down next to her. She immediately moved over so that she was closer to Roman. The moment was lost on John. He assumed that she moved so that she could give him more space on the bed. “Something has upset you and I’d like to know what it is.”
How do you tell a man that you are supposed to love more than anything in the world that you are having thoughts of him doing bad things to you? How do you do that? How do you do that when you don’t know if what you’re feeling and seeing is real? How can you purposely break someone’s heart because you know deep down, that’s what its going to do? Marlena looked up at John with tears in her eyes and knew that she couldn’t tell him the truth. A part of her loved him so much that she could never be the one to cause him pain. Better to be the bitch than the tormenter.
“Nothing,” she said as she closed her eyes tightly and began to cry again. John moved to take Marlena in his arms and comfort her. “No…no,” Marlena cried out. “No…please…don’t...” John continued to hold onto her, grabbing her arms, attempting to calm her down. “No,” Marlena cried out again as she tried to get out of his grasp. Roman watched helplessly, not wanting to interfere.
“Marlena, either you or Roman are going to tell me what’s going on…I walk in here to find my wife crying in the arms of her ex-husband. I think I have every right to know what has you so upset.” John didn’t miss the look that passed between Marlena and Roman.
“I’ve been having memories,” Marlena said softly looking up at John. Love, adoration and concern was written all over his face. She loved him too much to hurt him. Better to lie than hurt.
“That’s good honey,” John said as he stroked her arm lightly. Even though blankets covered her, she still seemed so cold. “You’re remembering, that’s good…that’s nothing to be scared of.” John continued stroking her arms, moving towards her shoulders and neck.
“No…No…I just want it to stop,” Marlena screamed. John was taken aback by her sudden outburst. “I want it to stop…I don’t want these memories…I don’t want them.” She pulled on her blonde hair, as if trying to pull the memories out of her head. Roman slowly reached over and pulled her hands down. She was shaking.
“Marlena, it’s okay, honey…I’m here for you…Everything will be fine,” John said as he slowly bent down to kiss Marlena on the lips. Everything moved in slow motion for Marlena as she saw him lower his lips towards hers. She backed up against the bed trying desperately to put space between them. His proximity, the smell of his after shave, the blue of his eyes, was very real and too much for her. She needed to get away from him. As he touched her the slideshow in her head started again. Memories of her past flooded her mind. She saw the blueness in his eyes as he held her down on the bed…she felt her clothes being ripped from her body. She saw the whiteness of his teeth as he yelled at her…she felt the devastation of letting him down. She saw herself being held down by Kellam Chandler and John…she felt them enter her roughly. “Please no,” she begged John before he kissed her. She felt the bile rising in her throat; she couldn’t look at John. “You don’t want me to kiss you?” John asked, the devastation of the rejection evident on his face. Marlena was openly sobbing, trying to put some distance between her and John. Roman lowered the covers on the bed, giving Marlena some space.
“What’s wrong with you?” John asked tenderly, obviously torn by the anger he felt for Marlena and Roman and their ‘little secret’ and the sympathy he felt for her being in such obvious pain.
“Please, just go…I need to be alone,” she begged, as she laid on her side and held her arm over protectively over her stomach.
“No, I want to get to the bottom of this Marlena. This has gone on to long. I’ve played the sympathetic and understanding spouse long enough. Something is wrong. I can feel it and see it. Look, I love you…Let me help you.” John touched her chin gently with his fingers, tracing the line of her jaw. Marlena tried to hold the down her bile down as John touched her. She clenched her eyes shut and wished him away. ‘I’m okay… I’m okay’ she said to herself as the bile rose higher. She suddenly sat up and pushed Roman back as she got off the bed and ran into the bathroom. Roman sat back and watched as John ran after Marlena, shutting the door behind him. Roman closed his eyes and said a little prayer, asking God to give Marlena the strength to tell John the truth for once.
~~~~~
“Marlena, honey, are you okay?” John asked as he rubbed Marlena’s back as she leaned over the commode. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to block out the harsh institutional light of the bathroom. The sensation of John’s hands on her back was distracting. She felt his unconditional love in his touch, but her mind wouldn’t let her forget his sins. She felt the bile rise up in her throat again as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet.
“I’m fine,” she muttered as she wiped her mouth on the sleeve of her shirt. “I’ll be okay, I just need to lay down for a little while.” She hoped he got the hint and would leave her alone. She attempted to get up from the bathroom floor, taking John’s hand when he offered it to her. Roman was sitting on her bed when John and Marlena appeared from the bathroom. Roman could tell that his prayer hadn’t been answered, John didn’t know about the baby. Looking at Marlena’s form as she walked toward him, it wasn’t evident that she was pregnant. She just looked like she put on a little weight around the stomach, but wouldn’t be considered fat or pregnant looking by any means.
Roman got up off the bed, giving Marlena and John the space they needed. He didn’t like the role that Marlena was slowly casting him in; third party intermediary. He needed to get John out of the room and talk to him fast before things became even more wrong. John helped Marlena into bed and watched as she pulled up the covers, rolled onto her side and closed her eyes. She looked so pitiful and helpless. He resisted the urge to touch her.
“John, could I talk to you outside for a minute?” Roman asked upon seeing his opening.
“Could it wait?” John asked, the irritation obvious in his voice.
“Actually no, I need to talk to you right now,” Roman said with determination, using his eyes to gesture towards the door and to indicate to John that it was serious.
“Okay, Marlena we’ll be out in the hall if you need anything,” John said as he bent down and kissed the side of her face. Marlena lay motionless on the bed, her mind retreating to a place where no one could hurt her.
“What’s up?” John asked as soon as Roman closed the bedroom door.
“Not here,” Roman said as he led John down the hall to his room.
“Why are you being so secretive?” John asked as he followed Roman. He didn’t want to be having any conversation with Roman. He wanted to be with Marlena. “Because I know you and your temper and it’s the last thing that Marlena needs right now.” Roman opened the door to his room and walked in, John following behind him. He slowly closed the door and shut it tight before turning around and facing John.
“So are you finally going to be honest with me and tell me what the hell is going on with my wife? I saw the look that passed between you two in there. I know you’re keeping secrets and I want to know what the hell they are and I want to know now.” John’s voice slowly rose with each word he said. He didn’t mean for his frustration of the past four months to come out in one conversation.
“Calm down John, yelling is not going to get you anywhere,” Roman cautioned.
“Tell me now dammit,” John demanded.
“There are some things that have happened that you need to know about,” Roman began as he sat down on the sofa. He gestured for John to have a seat on the matching leather chair.
“What things,” John asked as he sat down.
“Marlena called Alex to come and get her,” Roman said, expecting John to explode in anger and go running out of the room. Instead John’s response somewhat shocked him.
“Okay,” John said as he brought his fingers to his mouth. “Okay….Why?” John was trying his hardest not to react to the news.
“She’s convinced that he can somehow help her…I think I’ve convinced her that she doesn’t need him now.”
“Damn straight she doesn’t…we’ve got to get her out of here. How long ago did she call?”
“A couple of hours ago I think…I’m not sure.”
“Why does she think that she needs him? Surely she knows of the danger?” John got up off of the chair and paced in front of the fireplace. He needed to think of how he could keep Marlena safe.
“Look John, you know that they share a past, that’s not a secret. He’s helped her in the past; she’s convinced that he can help her now. What you don’t know is that the last time he so called helped her, he majorly screwed with her mind and I was left to pick up the pieces,” Roman said as he thought back to that time. He never wanted to go there again.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” John asked. What else was Roman not telling him?
“Wasn’t my place to tell…”
“That’s bullshit…regardless of whatever loyalty you feel towards Marlena, you should have told me he was a quack…I should have been told that much because I sure as hell wouldn’t have let him go near my wife,” John said in anger as he stopped pacing in front of Roman and looked down at him.
“John, I didn’t know it was Alex?”
“What the hell do you mean you didn’t know it was Alex? You met him in the hospital when she woke up with amnesia.”
“What I mean is that I didn’t know that he was the one that treated her in the past. She never mentioned his name. If I’d have known that it was him, I would have never allowed him to treat her.”
“So what the hell did he do to her?” John asked, not wanting if he really wanted to know.
“I’m not sure of the specifics, but in my opinion he had her convinced her that life wasn’t worth living.”
“Man, she told me a couple of months ago that she’d tried to hurt herself in the past, but I had no idea that North was connected to her…my god, I left her alone with him…what kinds of things did he fill her mind with then? Is her behavior now a result of something North did to her at Green Mountain?” John formulated a trap for Dr. North in his mind. He was going to wait until North arrived and then kill him with his bare hands.
“John, you have to stop it…all these what ifs aren’t going to make her better. Look, she’s getting worse…I need to get her away from here before Dr. North arrives…If she sees him, she’s going to go with him,” Roman warned him.
“You’re right Roman…Let me call the pilot and have him get the plane ready. We can be out of here in thirty minutes,” John said as he took his cell phone out of his pocket and prepared to call the pilot.
“No, John…Marlena isn’t going to go with you.”
“What are you talking about pal.”
“Marlena isn’t going with you,” Roman repeated. “You’ll just make things worse…I’ve convinced her that she doesn’t need him...in order for her healing to occur I need you to trust me with her. She’s agreed to leave Alex out of it and let me help her.”
“She’s my wife Roman, mine, not yours…if anyone should be going with her, it should be me.”
“You’ll just make things worse John…She’s scared of you.” Roman looked down at the floor, wishing that he could just be a mere spot on the carpet and blend in.
“Scared of me? What the fuck?” John said in shock.
“Look John, there’s no easy way to say this, so I just will… she’s been having memories of you hurting her.”
“Hurting her? I’ve never laid a finger on her and never would…I adore and worship that woman…you know that…hell all of Salem knows that…I would die before I ever hurt her.” John’s voice held a hint of desperation. He couldn’t believe that Roman actually thought that he would hurt Marlena. He needed to make him believe that he wouldn’t. “Raping her.” Roman admitted, not able to look John in the eye.
