Post by Mimi on Aug 18, 2006 10:28:36 GMT -5
“Raping her.” Roman admitted, not able to look John in the eye.
“What the fuck?” John said as he looked to Roman for confirmation that what he had heard was what Roman had said. Roman nodded his head. “No,” John yelled. “No…No…I’ve got to talk to her.” John was shocked and livid that Marlena could actually think such a thing.
“Don’t John, you’ll make it worse.”
“How could things get any worse? Tell me…my wife thinks I’m a rapist…does she think I’m a pedophile too? What about a wife beater? What the hell has North been putting into her head? I need to talk to her now…” John started toward the door. Roman got up and blocked his way, putting one hand on John’s chest.
“John stop…you’ll make things worse.”
“You just told me that my wife thinks I raped her…tell me pal how could things get any worse?” John reached for the doorknob and prepared to twist it to open it. Roman put his hand and foot against the door. John wasn’t going anywhere.
“She reacts to you when you’re near, surely you’ve noticed that? She doesn’t want to be touched or held anymore…she’s getting worse John. Whatever is going on in her head, its working against us by the day…I need to get her away from the island now.” John wondered with was with Roman and all the references to “I”. Marlena was his wife, not Romans.
“I need to be with her…she’s my life,” John said as he attempted to remove Roman’s hand from the door so that he could open it.
“I understand that, but if she continues like this you may not have a wife,” Roman said with concern, hoping that John would calm down and let him say what he needed to before going to Marlena.
“Are you trying to tell me that she’s suicidal again?” John asked in concern.
“I don’t know…I’m not a shrink and I don’t want to be one… I just know Doc and she’s not well, really not well, if you know what I mean…She needs professional help John…not her husband or ex-husband…you need to get her that help.”
“She won’t talk to Dr. Cortez, what makes you think she’ll talk to someone else?”
“I think I can convince her, but it can’t be here.”
“So what are you suggesting? I let you fly off into the unknown with my wife? I don’t think so pal.”
“Stop being so fucking selfish John. This isn’t about you.” John was acting like his usual Marlena obsessed self.
“This is about me…anything that has to do with Marlena is about me, don’t you get that,” John said as he forcibly tried to remove Roman’s hand from the door.
“Marlena needs to be far away from you…you are causing some type of reaction, a negative one. Her mental health is somewhat fragile right now… you want to be the cause of a breakdown? Do you? You keep up this macho ‘she’s my wife and I know best’ shit and that’s what’s going to happen. Is that what you fucking want in the name of pride? Is it? I’ve been there when she’s had a breakdown and believe me that is something that you never ever want to experience John.” John let go of Roman’s hand and stepped back from Roman, dumbfounded.
“I need to talk to her, I need for her to understand that I’d never hurt her,” John said softly. “This is killing me here Roman….killing me inside…This has to be some mistake…Why would she think I did that to her? Why? It has to be North…Maybe he got her to transfer some of her memories of what Chandler did to her to me…that’s the only explanation I can think of.”
“Could be John…I don’t really know…but I can tell you that Doc is torn up inside that she’s even having these thoughts about you.”
“I need to see her Roman…I need for her to know that I’d never do that to her,” John pleaded with Roman.
“At the expense of her well being?”
“Don’t ask me to stand by and watch her leave again…I can’t do that Roman, I can’t…I can’t lose her again…I won’t lose her again…she’s everything to me.” John’s temper flared again. He knew that he was losing it again and needed to calm down and think out the situation rationally. The last thing Marlena needed right now was for him to confront her about what she had told Roman.
“If you force her to stay here you will lose her, that I can almost guarantee… let me take her away from here for a while…you can be in constant contact so you’ll know where we are and that she’s safe…If you want to monitor us by satellite, that’s fine…I don’t care…But, Marlena needs to get away from here now….”
John leaned against the door deep in thought. If he didn’t let her leave and what Roman was saying was true then she would be in much greater danger. If he let her go, there was the distinct possibility that she might not get her memory back and that he would have no place in her future. Either way, he lost.
“John, we’re running out of time…let me take her…Look I know you’re worried about her and what happens if she leaves. In nine days your divorce is going to be final…”
“Don’t remind me of that pal…all the more reason to keep her closer…that divorce isn’t going to happen,” John warned Roman, livid at the thought of divorce.
“Fine, but for her sake you need to at least pretend that its going through…John, she is so determined that she needs this divorce…I don’t know the real reason, although I have some idea…”
“What? You think that she wants a divorce because she thinks I raped her?” May as well get it out in the open. Seemed like a reasonable reason to divorce to John, if only it was true.
“ I don’t know.”
“Quit this I don’t know shit and tell me the truth man…just tell me the truth…we are so far beyond the niceties here Roman… I just want your honest opinion and the truth, that’s all.”
“Fair enough…I think that something happened in your marriage during the last five years that she’s blocking out…John, she remembers all of her past except for you…did you know that.”
“She remembers everything but me?” John said as he sat down on the chair, head in his hands. This conversation had quickly gone from bad to worse. Was Roman insinuating that he was the cause of her amnesia?
“Yes, look I’m sorry that you had to find out from me, I’d hoped that she would regain her memories, including the ones of you…the point is, maybe if she thinks that the divorce is going through her memories of you will return.”
“That makes absolutely no sense…”
“None of this does John…we’re talking about Doc here. Is anything that has occurred in the last two years characteristic of her? No…I didn’t think so…Her problems didn’t start with the amnesia…in my opinion they go back years.”
“How far back?” John asked as he stared into the fire and slowly rubbed his chin. Was what Roman was saying true? Did Doc slowly change over the years, the changes being so subtle that he didn’t even notice? Had she slowly been crying out for help for years and he had missed or ignored the signs?
“Not sure…when did you notice her behavior changing? Maybe the clues are in your past with her…hell I’m not a shrink…I’m just guessing here…maybe grasping at straws trying to find a cause and a cure…ignore my diagnosis…but I would suggest that you at least call Mickey and have him pull the divorce papers and at least postpone it a couple of months. Maybe he could lose the papers…” Roman wanted to tell John about the baby but knew that John would never let Marlena go if he knew that she was pregnant.
“That’s brilliant Roman…brilliant…you think if Marlena thinks that we’re divorced maybe she’ll get better.” For once since this conversation began, John felt some hope.
“Honestly, I have no clue, but she seems so adamant about there being a divorce…What do you have to lose?”
“Nothing really…she thinks I raped her and wants a divorce…I have nothing to lose…the woman I love thinks the worst of me and wants nothing to do with me… I have nothing to lose…I still don’t feel good about her leaving here Roman…its totally against my better judgement…” John needed to think about what Roman was saying long and hard. Was there any truth to it, or was it another ploy for Roman to get closer to Marlena? He got up from his chair and paced back and forth in front of the fireplace, deep in thought.
“John, you need to make your decision,” Roman said. John needed to have made his decision twenty minutes ago.
After five tense minutes of watching John pace back and forth Roman was relieved when John finally stopped, turned and faced him. “Okay, but we do this on my terms, got that? I’ll have my pilot fly you to another one of my compounds…You and I stay in constant contact…Anything happens to her, you notify me immediately. I control who has access to her...that means no visitors unless I approve them first…no leaving the compound either…before you leave, I need to talk to see her alone,” John said as he walked to the door and opened it. Roman watched as John left the room and closed to door behind him.
John quickly walked down the hall into Marlena’s room. Each step he took closer to her bed, his heart broke a little more.
“Marlena,” John said as he sat down on her bed next to her, careful not to touch her. She slowly opened her eyes. “Marlena, honey, you need to get up and get dressed.”
“Why?” she asked as brushed the hair out of her face.
“You and Roman are leaving the island in a little while. Roman will be in soon to help you pack, but first I wanted to tell you goodbye,” John said trying to keep his own tears at bay. He couldn’t look at her, so he looked down at her hands instead as they tightly clutched the sheets that were covering her body.
“Goodbye?” Her hands pulled on the covers.
“I’m not going with you… You wanted a divorce and in a couple of days it will be final… I’m giving you want you want, I’m letting you go,” John’s voice cracked. He wasn’t sure that he had the strength to get through this and tell her goodbye. He needed to be strong for her though. He took a deep breath before continuing. “My pilot is going to fly you and Roman to another compound where you’ll be safe and can get help…I’ll be here if you need me.” One of Marlena’s hands let go of the sheet she was holding and disappeared under the cover. John couldn’t see that she was lightly stroking her swollen stomach.
“Marlena I love you and always will…I hope in time that you’ll remember our love and what we meant to each other…” John got up from the bed and walked toward the door unable to look back at her, fearful that he would see a smile on her face. “I’ll wait for you forever,” he whispered as he closed the door behind him.
Marlena let out the breath that she had been holding and sobbed. She got what she wanted, why did it feel like a part of her was dying inside?
“What the fuck?” John said as he looked to Roman for confirmation that what he had heard was what Roman had said. Roman nodded his head. “No,” John yelled. “No…No…I’ve got to talk to her.” John was shocked and livid that Marlena could actually think such a thing.
“Don’t John, you’ll make it worse.”
“How could things get any worse? Tell me…my wife thinks I’m a rapist…does she think I’m a pedophile too? What about a wife beater? What the hell has North been putting into her head? I need to talk to her now…” John started toward the door. Roman got up and blocked his way, putting one hand on John’s chest.
“John stop…you’ll make things worse.”
“You just told me that my wife thinks I raped her…tell me pal how could things get any worse?” John reached for the doorknob and prepared to twist it to open it. Roman put his hand and foot against the door. John wasn’t going anywhere.
“She reacts to you when you’re near, surely you’ve noticed that? She doesn’t want to be touched or held anymore…she’s getting worse John. Whatever is going on in her head, its working against us by the day…I need to get her away from the island now.” John wondered with was with Roman and all the references to “I”. Marlena was his wife, not Romans.
“I need to be with her…she’s my life,” John said as he attempted to remove Roman’s hand from the door so that he could open it.
“I understand that, but if she continues like this you may not have a wife,” Roman said with concern, hoping that John would calm down and let him say what he needed to before going to Marlena.
“Are you trying to tell me that she’s suicidal again?” John asked in concern.
“I don’t know…I’m not a shrink and I don’t want to be one… I just know Doc and she’s not well, really not well, if you know what I mean…She needs professional help John…not her husband or ex-husband…you need to get her that help.”
“She won’t talk to Dr. Cortez, what makes you think she’ll talk to someone else?”
“I think I can convince her, but it can’t be here.”
“So what are you suggesting? I let you fly off into the unknown with my wife? I don’t think so pal.”
“Stop being so fucking selfish John. This isn’t about you.” John was acting like his usual Marlena obsessed self.
“This is about me…anything that has to do with Marlena is about me, don’t you get that,” John said as he forcibly tried to remove Roman’s hand from the door.
“Marlena needs to be far away from you…you are causing some type of reaction, a negative one. Her mental health is somewhat fragile right now… you want to be the cause of a breakdown? Do you? You keep up this macho ‘she’s my wife and I know best’ shit and that’s what’s going to happen. Is that what you fucking want in the name of pride? Is it? I’ve been there when she’s had a breakdown and believe me that is something that you never ever want to experience John.” John let go of Roman’s hand and stepped back from Roman, dumbfounded.
“I need to talk to her, I need for her to understand that I’d never hurt her,” John said softly. “This is killing me here Roman….killing me inside…This has to be some mistake…Why would she think I did that to her? Why? It has to be North…Maybe he got her to transfer some of her memories of what Chandler did to her to me…that’s the only explanation I can think of.”
“Could be John…I don’t really know…but I can tell you that Doc is torn up inside that she’s even having these thoughts about you.”
“I need to see her Roman…I need for her to know that I’d never do that to her,” John pleaded with Roman.
“At the expense of her well being?”
“Don’t ask me to stand by and watch her leave again…I can’t do that Roman, I can’t…I can’t lose her again…I won’t lose her again…she’s everything to me.” John’s temper flared again. He knew that he was losing it again and needed to calm down and think out the situation rationally. The last thing Marlena needed right now was for him to confront her about what she had told Roman.
“If you force her to stay here you will lose her, that I can almost guarantee… let me take her away from here for a while…you can be in constant contact so you’ll know where we are and that she’s safe…If you want to monitor us by satellite, that’s fine…I don’t care…But, Marlena needs to get away from here now….”
John leaned against the door deep in thought. If he didn’t let her leave and what Roman was saying was true then she would be in much greater danger. If he let her go, there was the distinct possibility that she might not get her memory back and that he would have no place in her future. Either way, he lost.
“John, we’re running out of time…let me take her…Look I know you’re worried about her and what happens if she leaves. In nine days your divorce is going to be final…”
“Don’t remind me of that pal…all the more reason to keep her closer…that divorce isn’t going to happen,” John warned Roman, livid at the thought of divorce.
“Fine, but for her sake you need to at least pretend that its going through…John, she is so determined that she needs this divorce…I don’t know the real reason, although I have some idea…”
“What? You think that she wants a divorce because she thinks I raped her?” May as well get it out in the open. Seemed like a reasonable reason to divorce to John, if only it was true.
“ I don’t know.”
“Quit this I don’t know shit and tell me the truth man…just tell me the truth…we are so far beyond the niceties here Roman… I just want your honest opinion and the truth, that’s all.”
“Fair enough…I think that something happened in your marriage during the last five years that she’s blocking out…John, she remembers all of her past except for you…did you know that.”
“She remembers everything but me?” John said as he sat down on the chair, head in his hands. This conversation had quickly gone from bad to worse. Was Roman insinuating that he was the cause of her amnesia?
“Yes, look I’m sorry that you had to find out from me, I’d hoped that she would regain her memories, including the ones of you…the point is, maybe if she thinks that the divorce is going through her memories of you will return.”
“That makes absolutely no sense…”
“None of this does John…we’re talking about Doc here. Is anything that has occurred in the last two years characteristic of her? No…I didn’t think so…Her problems didn’t start with the amnesia…in my opinion they go back years.”
“How far back?” John asked as he stared into the fire and slowly rubbed his chin. Was what Roman was saying true? Did Doc slowly change over the years, the changes being so subtle that he didn’t even notice? Had she slowly been crying out for help for years and he had missed or ignored the signs?
“Not sure…when did you notice her behavior changing? Maybe the clues are in your past with her…hell I’m not a shrink…I’m just guessing here…maybe grasping at straws trying to find a cause and a cure…ignore my diagnosis…but I would suggest that you at least call Mickey and have him pull the divorce papers and at least postpone it a couple of months. Maybe he could lose the papers…” Roman wanted to tell John about the baby but knew that John would never let Marlena go if he knew that she was pregnant.
“That’s brilliant Roman…brilliant…you think if Marlena thinks that we’re divorced maybe she’ll get better.” For once since this conversation began, John felt some hope.
“Honestly, I have no clue, but she seems so adamant about there being a divorce…What do you have to lose?”
“Nothing really…she thinks I raped her and wants a divorce…I have nothing to lose…the woman I love thinks the worst of me and wants nothing to do with me… I have nothing to lose…I still don’t feel good about her leaving here Roman…its totally against my better judgement…” John needed to think about what Roman was saying long and hard. Was there any truth to it, or was it another ploy for Roman to get closer to Marlena? He got up from his chair and paced back and forth in front of the fireplace, deep in thought.
“John, you need to make your decision,” Roman said. John needed to have made his decision twenty minutes ago.
After five tense minutes of watching John pace back and forth Roman was relieved when John finally stopped, turned and faced him. “Okay, but we do this on my terms, got that? I’ll have my pilot fly you to another one of my compounds…You and I stay in constant contact…Anything happens to her, you notify me immediately. I control who has access to her...that means no visitors unless I approve them first…no leaving the compound either…before you leave, I need to talk to see her alone,” John said as he walked to the door and opened it. Roman watched as John left the room and closed to door behind him.
John quickly walked down the hall into Marlena’s room. Each step he took closer to her bed, his heart broke a little more.
“Marlena,” John said as he sat down on her bed next to her, careful not to touch her. She slowly opened her eyes. “Marlena, honey, you need to get up and get dressed.”
“Why?” she asked as brushed the hair out of her face.
“You and Roman are leaving the island in a little while. Roman will be in soon to help you pack, but first I wanted to tell you goodbye,” John said trying to keep his own tears at bay. He couldn’t look at her, so he looked down at her hands instead as they tightly clutched the sheets that were covering her body.
“Goodbye?” Her hands pulled on the covers.
“I’m not going with you… You wanted a divorce and in a couple of days it will be final… I’m giving you want you want, I’m letting you go,” John’s voice cracked. He wasn’t sure that he had the strength to get through this and tell her goodbye. He needed to be strong for her though. He took a deep breath before continuing. “My pilot is going to fly you and Roman to another compound where you’ll be safe and can get help…I’ll be here if you need me.” One of Marlena’s hands let go of the sheet she was holding and disappeared under the cover. John couldn’t see that she was lightly stroking her swollen stomach.
“Marlena I love you and always will…I hope in time that you’ll remember our love and what we meant to each other…” John got up from the bed and walked toward the door unable to look back at her, fearful that he would see a smile on her face. “I’ll wait for you forever,” he whispered as he closed the door behind him.
Marlena let out the breath that she had been holding and sobbed. She got what she wanted, why did it feel like a part of her was dying inside?
