Post by Mimi on Aug 18, 2006 10:29:16 GMT -5
Marlena looked around the small airfield, hoping to catch a glimpse of John before she left. She needed to see him one last time. Regardless of her memory of what he did to her, she desperately needed to see his face. She needed to see him, touch him, taste him. This couldn’t be the end? She couldn’t stand that the last look on his face was one of devastation and resignment. She knew him so well and could still read him like none other. Sure, he put on a brave front and acted as if it were no big deal, but she knew that wasn’t the case. How could she leave knowing that she had broken his heart?
She felt the coldness of her clothes against her skin as the rain soaked through them. Thunderclouds were in the distance. The pilot gave her a warning that she would have board the plane now or they would have to ride out the storm on the island. As much as she hated the island, she couldn’t bear to leave it.
“I can’t...I can’t let you go. I can’t be in the same room with you...and say goodbye...and pretend that it doesn’t matter. I can’t pretend that it doesn’t break...my...heart. I can’t face it. I can’t face...weeks or months...I can’t face never seeing you again. Please, I can’t face that,” Marlena remembered herself saying to John years ago. The desperation she felt then was much like she felt now. She reached up and wiped the tears and rain from her face. This couldn’t be it; this couldn’t be the end for them.
Thunder boomed around Marlena, but she was numb inside. She wasn’t aware that Roman Brady was standing next to her on the tarmac until he put his sweater over her head trying to provide some protection against the rain.
“Doc, please get on the plane. You’re going to get sick out here,” Roman pleaded with her.
“I’m not ready to leave yet,” Marlena said as she desperately looked around for John. Surely his goodbye wasn’t the end for them. Was it?
“We need to leave now or else we’re going to have to wait until the storm clears.” Roman could hear the lightening crackle around them and knew the storm was moving closer. “Please Doc, come with me back onto the plane…if you want to wait a little while longer there, fine…but please let me get you out of this cold rain…its not good for you or the baby.”
Marlena slowly rubbed her stomach, reminded by Roman of the life she held within. “You’re right,” she said as she followed him onto the plane.
Thunder boomed and lightening crashed around the plane as the pilot instructed them to buckle their seat belts and prepare for turbulence. As the plane taxied down the runway, a huge bolt of lightening lit up the sky. A memory from the past came back to Marlena.
“Doc, hey, come on. Don't be unhappy. Last thing I want...,” John to said to her as he prepared to leave Salem forever on his private jet. She had gone there to stop him, but so far had been unsuccessful.
“That doesn't make you unhappy at all?” she asked in disbelief that he wasn’t feeling the same loss that she was.
“I'm past that, Doc. I'm freefalling...with just the idea that I am never going to see you again. I am never going to hear you laugh. I'm never going to smell your perfume and I'm never going to touch you.”
“Oh God,” she replied as he captured her mouth with his. Lightening crashed around them as they slowly became reacquainted with one another.
“Doc, are you alright?” Roman asked as he touched her shoulder. She was pale and gasping for air. “It felt so real Roman,” Marlena said not sure if what she saw and felt was real. “It was so real….John was telling me goodbye.”
“John did tell you goodbye a little while ago Doc,” Roman said as he put his hand on her forehead and checked to see if she was warm.
“No, not then, before.” She remembered making love to him on the plane and then going home to Roman, knowing that in her mind that what she had done was morally wrong, but in her heart feeling it was right. She felt the love that John felt for her and his desperation at the thought that he was never going to see her or be with her again.
“What are you talking about?” Roman was concerned.
“It’s nothing,” Marlena said as she turned her head to the side, embarrassed that she was having memories of her affair with John while sitting next to her ex-husband. “I don’t want to talk about it… Roman, do you think I did the right thing by leaving?” Roman looked at his ex-wife for a few seconds before responding. She looked so young and fragile next to him. Her clothes were soaking wet and sticking to her thin frame, hair plastered to the side of her head and face, dark circles under her eyes. She looked worse than he had ever seen her before.
“No…honestly, no…I agree that you needed to leave before Dr. North arrived, but I think that John needs to be here….You love him Marlena…As much as you try to deny it I can tell that you do…I know that you were on the tarmac hoping that he’d come along…I think that you’re making a mistake by not telling John the truth about what’s going on in that head of yours and about the baby…”
“He can’t know,” Marlena said as she brought her knees up to her chest in an attempt to get warm.
“I know your reasons, though I may not agree with them…I just feel that one of these days you are going to wake up and realize that you should have been honest with him all along.” Roman unbuckled his seat belt and went back into the bedroom to retrieve a blanket for Marlena.
“I thought you’d be supportive of me Roman…after everything we’ve been through I though you of all people would understand,” Marlena said, the anger in her voice evident. She caught the blanket that he tossed at her.
“I do Doc and that’s why I’m supportive of your decision even though I don’t agree with it.” Roman sat back down and buckled his seat belt. The turbulence from the plane was starting to make him nauseous.
“I’ve told you Roman…I remember my past…all of it…every moment with you, even when we made love in the castle…I remember the kids, their births, the birthday parties, school plays, Christmases…everything…Do you know how it feels to remember your whole life except for the one person you should have the greatest and strongest memories of? I can’t remember John. It’s killing me inside Roman not to have any memories of him or sketchy memories at best.” Marlena started crying at all that she knew she had lost. Memories of John telling her goodbye flashed through her mind. She put her hands to her head to stop the memories.
“So what Marlena? Work with him to retrieve those memories. Don’t give up and leave. That’s not the Marlena I know…she would never have given up.” Roman was pissed. He didn’t feel well and Marlena and her victim mentality were starting to get on his nerves. He had spent the last 6 months with her and John isolated from the rest of civilization and was quickly reaching his breaking point. He wanted to go home and sleep in his own bed, drive his own car, see his parents, eat dinner with his family, make love to a woman. That wasn’t too much to ask for. With Christmas coming he wasn’t sure that he was going to make it through the holiday if it was just he and Marlena. He might kill her first.
“No,” she snapped back at him. “This is for the best…”
“Fuck that Mar…you’re miserable… You are just too damn stubborn to admit it.” Roman undid his seat belt and went over to the couch and laid down. He didn’t care if they hit a pocket of turbulence and crashed. Death would be a better option than being sick to his stomach having to hear Marlena go on and on trying to validate a bad decision. He closed his eyes hoping that she would get the hint and stop talking.
“This is for the best…I can’t stay with him in my condition.”
“Your condition, what is this the 1940’s? …just say it,” Roman said as he rolled onto his side and faced her. “You’re pregnant and don’t know who the father is,” Roman said bitterly.
“You don’t have to be so mean and crude about it,” Marlena said as she started crying again.
“Oh god, why are you punishing me,” Roman muttered under his breath as he sat up on the couch. “Look, I’m sorry Mar…I just don’t feel well…I’m sorry if that came out crude.”
“You just don’t understand,” she cried out, “You don’t understand what it feels like not to remember making love to anyone and yet being pregnant….How hell did I get pregnant Roman? Tell me that? Immaculate conception? I don’t think so….I was with someone, but who? You? John? Alex? Someone else? What the hell am I blocking out and why?” Marlena leaned back in her chair and sobbed. Roman sat watching her, torn between his sympathy at what she was going through and his annoyance of her. Her hormones were causing major mood swings.
“Does it matter who the father is? Really, deep down does it? No, you’re going to love this child no matter who the father winds up being. My guess is John, he’s the logical choice…I don’t get why you just didn’t ask him if you made love in the last 6 months.”
v “If we didn’t, then he’s going to know I was with someone else,” Marlena said as she wiped her eyes. She couldn’t bear the thought that she might have been unfaithful to John. Roman was confused as hell by Marlena. She accused John of rape, yet she didn’t want him to know if she was unfaithful? She made absolutely no sense to him.
“Mar, you have amnesia…no one is going to blame you for an indiscretion you had while you didn’t know exactly who you were.” Roman was trying hard to be supportive. He closed his eyes, trying to stop the interior of the plane from spinning.
“I need to recover more of my memories before I can ask John,” Marlena as she got up from her seat and looked out the window. Dark clouds surrounded the plane; the sky lit up an eerie shade of green.
“So what? The baby is due in a couple months…Are you going to wait until its here and then ask John and if he says ‘yes Marlena, we had sex’, then you’re going to toss a baby into his arms and say ‘congratulations papa’? That has to be the stupidest plan I’ve heard if that’s what you intend to do.” Roman opened his eyes to see what her reaction would be to his comment. She was bent over looking out the window, her drying hair a curly mess. Her clothes were still wet and stuck her to frame. He could see the outline of her pregnant stomach by the way she was standing.
“I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“Well maybe you should.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side Roman,” she said as she turned around and sat down next to him on the couch, moving his legs out of the way.
“I am, but you’re really getting on my nerves…I think I’ve been around you for too long.” Roman slowly stretched out his legs trying to reclaim his space on the small couch.
“You never said that when we were married,” she said as she put his feet in her lap, giving her more space. He did look really sick to her.
“We weren’t married that long before I disappeared and besides you’re my ex-wife…there’s a difference. If you were my wife I’d tolerate a whole lot more…but your not, you’re one of my best friends. I can say things to you now that I couldn’t when we were married.” Roman closed his eyes. If Marlena was insistent on talking, she would just have to deal with him not giving her the undivided attention she was used to and craved.
“Yeah, like what?”
“How fricking annoying you are being right now,” Roman opened one eye and peeked out of it, seeing a hurt look on her face. “Sorry…don’t even start the tears Doc…your hormones are all over the place and I have never been so annoyed with you than I am right now.”
Marlena lightly slapped Romans feet at his comment. “That’s because you want me,” she teased.
“Honey that couldn’t be further from the truth. You could throw yourself at me and I’d a go running. Shouldn’t you be changing into dry clothes?”
“Why Roman Brady, are you trying to get rid of me?” Marlena asked.
“Why yes, now go,” Roman ordered her. He felt her get up from the couch and leave. Roman reached down and grabbed the blanket and covered himself up. “John Black, you fucking owe me big time for this one,” Roman muttered as he closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep.
She felt the coldness of her clothes against her skin as the rain soaked through them. Thunderclouds were in the distance. The pilot gave her a warning that she would have board the plane now or they would have to ride out the storm on the island. As much as she hated the island, she couldn’t bear to leave it.
“I can’t...I can’t let you go. I can’t be in the same room with you...and say goodbye...and pretend that it doesn’t matter. I can’t pretend that it doesn’t break...my...heart. I can’t face it. I can’t face...weeks or months...I can’t face never seeing you again. Please, I can’t face that,” Marlena remembered herself saying to John years ago. The desperation she felt then was much like she felt now. She reached up and wiped the tears and rain from her face. This couldn’t be it; this couldn’t be the end for them.
Thunder boomed around Marlena, but she was numb inside. She wasn’t aware that Roman Brady was standing next to her on the tarmac until he put his sweater over her head trying to provide some protection against the rain.
“Doc, please get on the plane. You’re going to get sick out here,” Roman pleaded with her.
“I’m not ready to leave yet,” Marlena said as she desperately looked around for John. Surely his goodbye wasn’t the end for them. Was it?
“We need to leave now or else we’re going to have to wait until the storm clears.” Roman could hear the lightening crackle around them and knew the storm was moving closer. “Please Doc, come with me back onto the plane…if you want to wait a little while longer there, fine…but please let me get you out of this cold rain…its not good for you or the baby.”
Marlena slowly rubbed her stomach, reminded by Roman of the life she held within. “You’re right,” she said as she followed him onto the plane.
Thunder boomed and lightening crashed around the plane as the pilot instructed them to buckle their seat belts and prepare for turbulence. As the plane taxied down the runway, a huge bolt of lightening lit up the sky. A memory from the past came back to Marlena.
“Doc, hey, come on. Don't be unhappy. Last thing I want...,” John to said to her as he prepared to leave Salem forever on his private jet. She had gone there to stop him, but so far had been unsuccessful.
“That doesn't make you unhappy at all?” she asked in disbelief that he wasn’t feeling the same loss that she was.
“I'm past that, Doc. I'm freefalling...with just the idea that I am never going to see you again. I am never going to hear you laugh. I'm never going to smell your perfume and I'm never going to touch you.”
“Oh God,” she replied as he captured her mouth with his. Lightening crashed around them as they slowly became reacquainted with one another.
“Doc, are you alright?” Roman asked as he touched her shoulder. She was pale and gasping for air. “It felt so real Roman,” Marlena said not sure if what she saw and felt was real. “It was so real….John was telling me goodbye.”
“John did tell you goodbye a little while ago Doc,” Roman said as he put his hand on her forehead and checked to see if she was warm.
“No, not then, before.” She remembered making love to him on the plane and then going home to Roman, knowing that in her mind that what she had done was morally wrong, but in her heart feeling it was right. She felt the love that John felt for her and his desperation at the thought that he was never going to see her or be with her again.
“What are you talking about?” Roman was concerned.
“It’s nothing,” Marlena said as she turned her head to the side, embarrassed that she was having memories of her affair with John while sitting next to her ex-husband. “I don’t want to talk about it… Roman, do you think I did the right thing by leaving?” Roman looked at his ex-wife for a few seconds before responding. She looked so young and fragile next to him. Her clothes were soaking wet and sticking to her thin frame, hair plastered to the side of her head and face, dark circles under her eyes. She looked worse than he had ever seen her before.
“No…honestly, no…I agree that you needed to leave before Dr. North arrived, but I think that John needs to be here….You love him Marlena…As much as you try to deny it I can tell that you do…I know that you were on the tarmac hoping that he’d come along…I think that you’re making a mistake by not telling John the truth about what’s going on in that head of yours and about the baby…”
“He can’t know,” Marlena said as she brought her knees up to her chest in an attempt to get warm.
“I know your reasons, though I may not agree with them…I just feel that one of these days you are going to wake up and realize that you should have been honest with him all along.” Roman unbuckled his seat belt and went back into the bedroom to retrieve a blanket for Marlena.
“I thought you’d be supportive of me Roman…after everything we’ve been through I though you of all people would understand,” Marlena said, the anger in her voice evident. She caught the blanket that he tossed at her.
“I do Doc and that’s why I’m supportive of your decision even though I don’t agree with it.” Roman sat back down and buckled his seat belt. The turbulence from the plane was starting to make him nauseous.
“I’ve told you Roman…I remember my past…all of it…every moment with you, even when we made love in the castle…I remember the kids, their births, the birthday parties, school plays, Christmases…everything…Do you know how it feels to remember your whole life except for the one person you should have the greatest and strongest memories of? I can’t remember John. It’s killing me inside Roman not to have any memories of him or sketchy memories at best.” Marlena started crying at all that she knew she had lost. Memories of John telling her goodbye flashed through her mind. She put her hands to her head to stop the memories.
“So what Marlena? Work with him to retrieve those memories. Don’t give up and leave. That’s not the Marlena I know…she would never have given up.” Roman was pissed. He didn’t feel well and Marlena and her victim mentality were starting to get on his nerves. He had spent the last 6 months with her and John isolated from the rest of civilization and was quickly reaching his breaking point. He wanted to go home and sleep in his own bed, drive his own car, see his parents, eat dinner with his family, make love to a woman. That wasn’t too much to ask for. With Christmas coming he wasn’t sure that he was going to make it through the holiday if it was just he and Marlena. He might kill her first.
“No,” she snapped back at him. “This is for the best…”
“Fuck that Mar…you’re miserable… You are just too damn stubborn to admit it.” Roman undid his seat belt and went over to the couch and laid down. He didn’t care if they hit a pocket of turbulence and crashed. Death would be a better option than being sick to his stomach having to hear Marlena go on and on trying to validate a bad decision. He closed his eyes hoping that she would get the hint and stop talking.
“This is for the best…I can’t stay with him in my condition.”
“Your condition, what is this the 1940’s? …just say it,” Roman said as he rolled onto his side and faced her. “You’re pregnant and don’t know who the father is,” Roman said bitterly.
“You don’t have to be so mean and crude about it,” Marlena said as she started crying again.
“Oh god, why are you punishing me,” Roman muttered under his breath as he sat up on the couch. “Look, I’m sorry Mar…I just don’t feel well…I’m sorry if that came out crude.”
“You just don’t understand,” she cried out, “You don’t understand what it feels like not to remember making love to anyone and yet being pregnant….How hell did I get pregnant Roman? Tell me that? Immaculate conception? I don’t think so….I was with someone, but who? You? John? Alex? Someone else? What the hell am I blocking out and why?” Marlena leaned back in her chair and sobbed. Roman sat watching her, torn between his sympathy at what she was going through and his annoyance of her. Her hormones were causing major mood swings.
“Does it matter who the father is? Really, deep down does it? No, you’re going to love this child no matter who the father winds up being. My guess is John, he’s the logical choice…I don’t get why you just didn’t ask him if you made love in the last 6 months.”
v “If we didn’t, then he’s going to know I was with someone else,” Marlena said as she wiped her eyes. She couldn’t bear the thought that she might have been unfaithful to John. Roman was confused as hell by Marlena. She accused John of rape, yet she didn’t want him to know if she was unfaithful? She made absolutely no sense to him.
“Mar, you have amnesia…no one is going to blame you for an indiscretion you had while you didn’t know exactly who you were.” Roman was trying hard to be supportive. He closed his eyes, trying to stop the interior of the plane from spinning.
“I need to recover more of my memories before I can ask John,” Marlena as she got up from her seat and looked out the window. Dark clouds surrounded the plane; the sky lit up an eerie shade of green.
“So what? The baby is due in a couple months…Are you going to wait until its here and then ask John and if he says ‘yes Marlena, we had sex’, then you’re going to toss a baby into his arms and say ‘congratulations papa’? That has to be the stupidest plan I’ve heard if that’s what you intend to do.” Roman opened his eyes to see what her reaction would be to his comment. She was bent over looking out the window, her drying hair a curly mess. Her clothes were still wet and stuck her to frame. He could see the outline of her pregnant stomach by the way she was standing.
“I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“Well maybe you should.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side Roman,” she said as she turned around and sat down next to him on the couch, moving his legs out of the way.
“I am, but you’re really getting on my nerves…I think I’ve been around you for too long.” Roman slowly stretched out his legs trying to reclaim his space on the small couch.
“You never said that when we were married,” she said as she put his feet in her lap, giving her more space. He did look really sick to her.
“We weren’t married that long before I disappeared and besides you’re my ex-wife…there’s a difference. If you were my wife I’d tolerate a whole lot more…but your not, you’re one of my best friends. I can say things to you now that I couldn’t when we were married.” Roman closed his eyes. If Marlena was insistent on talking, she would just have to deal with him not giving her the undivided attention she was used to and craved.
“Yeah, like what?”
“How fricking annoying you are being right now,” Roman opened one eye and peeked out of it, seeing a hurt look on her face. “Sorry…don’t even start the tears Doc…your hormones are all over the place and I have never been so annoyed with you than I am right now.”
Marlena lightly slapped Romans feet at his comment. “That’s because you want me,” she teased.
“Honey that couldn’t be further from the truth. You could throw yourself at me and I’d a go running. Shouldn’t you be changing into dry clothes?”
“Why Roman Brady, are you trying to get rid of me?” Marlena asked.
“Why yes, now go,” Roman ordered her. He felt her get up from the couch and leave. Roman reached down and grabbed the blanket and covered himself up. “John Black, you fucking owe me big time for this one,” Roman muttered as he closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep.
