Post by Mimi on Aug 18, 2006 10:30:51 GMT -5
“Marlena didn’t fucking want me to know she’s pregnant with my child? I don’t think so pal…you get her and put her on the phone now…. Its time she and I had a little talk.” John was livid. He wanted to physically hurt Roman and Marlena. They both were in on the little secret. Were they going to wait until the baby arrived to surprise him? He was tired of excuses. There was no reason that either one of them could come up that would justify this one.
“John, I’d advise against that right now.”
“I don’t think you get it pal…you tell me my wife, my wife, is about to give birth and you’ve known about it all along?…You don’t get a say in what happens. As my friend, you should have fucking told me Roman.”
Roman breathed in deeply before responding, “I promised her…”
“You promised her? You promised her? You shouldn’t have promised her shit…you know that. Fucking look at her behavior pal…does she look like she’s able to make decisions for herself? Goddammit,” John yelled as he picked up a book that was sitting on his desk and threw it against the wall. “I am so fucking pissed right now.”
“That’s not going to change anything…its only going to make her more upset.”
“I am so far beyond caring about what will make Marlena upset right now…she’s fucking carrying my baby…my baby…oh god, this is a fucking nightmare all over again?” Memories of what he went through with Hope and JT flashed through his mind; the fetal alcohol syndrome, the surgeries. “She was fucking drinking and doing who knows what else while she was pregnant with my baby, wasn’t she.”
“I’m not sure John.”
“Don’t fucking lie to me about this one pal…this is too important…its no longer about Marlena anymore… I’ve got a child to think about here.” Memories of seeing Marlena drinking and laughing on the terrace entered his mind. He was sick with the knowledge that she was pregnant with his child then. What had she done to his baby?
“Maybe early on…but recently I don’t know. She’s been acting strange for months….I’m sorry John, I don’t know.”
John sat down dejectedly in his high-back leather chair, trying to process the news. “God, this is a mess. When I sent her up there with you, I was expecting a couple months of isolation to help her get her memory back. Never did I imagine that this was even a possibility…Okay, I’ve got to think what to do…I need to talk to her…I need to make sure that my baby is okay.”
“John, I realize that you are upset with Marlena and me…the last thing she needs right now is to talk to you.”
“Because she still thinks I raped her?” John asked as he rolled his eyes. Why did it always come back to this? He was growing tired of being accused of something that he didn’t do.
“I don’t know…she won’t talk about you.” Actually, she wasn’t talking much about anything anymore.
“That’s bullshit, at this point I don’t care if she thinks I raped her…she’s carrying my child…she doesn’t get to ignore me on this one…god I want to strangle her…what was she thinking not telling me about the baby?” John laid his head down on his desk, wondering how he went from blissful ignorance to a nightmare in a matter of minutes. “I’ll be up there in two hours…you have two hours to prepare her for my visit, because when I get up there she and I are going to have a little talk.”
“John, you’re just going to make it worse,” Roman warned, but not making much of an attempt to keep John away. “Just send the OB/GYN.”
“Pal, you couldn’t keep me away from my wife and my child,” John warned. He noticed on his blackberry that his pilot had responded that the plane was ready for takeoff. John got up from his chair, put on his black leather jacket and checked his watch. It would be dark when he arrived at the lodge.
“I agree, if I was in your situation, I’d be up here too. But John, if you are insistent on talking with her, I’ve got to prepare you for how she is now.”
“Go on,” John responded, dreading the new bombshell that Roman was likely to drop.
“She’s a basket case John. I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy hormones or not, but she is all over the place mood wise…When she was pregnant with Belle she was moody, but not like this.” John felt like a knife had stabbed him in his heart. Another reminder of how some other man was with his wife when she was carrying his child. He couldn’t go through it again. He needed to be there for Marlena and his child no matter how angry he was with her.
“She and Matrona fight all the time about everything. Doc is not a yeller, but she is one now…Alexie and I make excuses just to leave the lodge so that we don’t have to hear them…its been bad man…Hold on,” Roman said as he got up from the bed and walked over to the door of the room and opened it a crack. “I thought I heard Doc,” he whispered as he looked down the hallway for a sign that she had come out of her room.
“No sign,” Roman continued. “Anyway, she’s been trying hard to remember, but the harder she tries, the worse she seems to get.” Roman heard Marlena scream and then heard something hit the wall and shattered.
“What was that?” John asked in concern, having heard the noise over the phone.
“Gotta go and check on Doc,” Roman said as he disconnected the cell phone and ran down the hall towards Marlena’s room.
~~~~~
Roman heard the roar of the snow mobile engine outside of the lodge. He looked out the kitchen window hoping to spot John, but couldn’t seen anything in the darkness. From the looks of it, the cloud cover was low and there was minimal disability. Minutes later he heard the door of the mudroom open and close.
“Roman,” John said upon seeing Roman, standing in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his hand.
“It’s good to see you John,” Roman said as he reached out and shook John’s hand.
“Where’s Marlena?” John asked as he looked around.
“Upstairs sleeping,” Roman said looking toward the mudroom door. “Where’s the doctor?”
“The doctor will be here later tonight. On our flight out here, a call came over the VHF for help in a nearby village. Apparently a group of native school children fell through the ice this afternoon and are suffering from severe hypothermia. The public health nurse at the village clinic called for a medevac flight, but it couldn’t get there for another couple of hours, hours the children may not have. I had my pilot drop me off and then take the doctor to the village to get the kids and fly with them back to Anchorage. She should be back later this evening depending on the weather.”
“Hope that the kids are alright,” Roman said as he stared into his coffee cup.
“Roman, you are my friend…I fucking trusted you with my wife…Goddammit, why didn’t you tell me that Doc was pregnant?” John asked as he faced his former adversary.
Roman couldn’t look at him, so instead he started at the blackness outside. “Against my better judgement Marlena convinced me not to. I know you’re mad and I’m sorry.”
“I was mad, now I’m just hurt and confused. This should be a happy time…I mean, Doc and I always wanted another child and now we have one…but look at us….she can’t be around me without freaking out…I’m mad all the time at this situation and her for not remembering me.”
“So John, my man, have you warmed yourself up yet?” Alexie said as he entered the kitchen, interrupting the conversation.
“Not yet Pal, Roman and I were just catching up,” John said as he walked over to the maple cabinet, opened the door and pulled out an oversized coffee mug.
“Roman is a good man, my friend. A good man,” Alexie said as he put his arm around Roman’s shoulder. Both men watched as John poured himself a cup of coffee.
“That he is,” John said as he took a sip of the coffee. “Where’s Matrona, Alexie?” John asked.
“Did someone call for me,” Matrona said as she walked into the kitchen. “Mr. Black,” she said with excitement in her voice as she went over and hugged him. “It’s so good to see you Mr. Black.”
“I told you to call me John.”
“Sorry, you will always be Mr. Black to me,” Matrona said as she walked over to her husband and stood next to them, the darkness of their skin in contrast to the whiteness of the kitchen. “So, Mr. Black…what are we going to do?” she asked. “Mrs. Black is out to here,” Matrona said as she gestured with her hands how far out Marlenas stomach extended. John hoped that she was exaggerating. “That baby is going to be coming soon…she needs to go to a hospital or village clinic.”
“John brought a doctor but the doctor had to go to that village to get the kids…you know the ones that they spoke about on the VHF this afternoon,” Alexie explained to his wife.
“God be with them kids and that doctor…” Matrona said as she bowed her head briefly as if in prayer.
“I’m sure that they will be fine,” Roman said trying to reassure the group. The four occupants of the kitchen looked at each other as if in a loss for a conversation topic. Marlena was on everyone’s mind, but none was brave enough to bring her up. After several moments of silence John realized that he was going to have to be the one to break the ice.
“How is Marlena?” He asked. “Don’t give me the nice and polite answer Matrona and Alexie. Roman has already filled me in on her behavior as of late. I just want the truth. I want to know what I’m dealing with.” John looked back and forth between Alexie and Matrona wondering which one of them would be honest first.
“Alright…she’s a mean one, Mr. Black. You’re such a nice man…why did you ever pick that woman?”
“Matrona, you can’t say that to John,” Alexie scolded his wife.
“It’s alright Alexie, I asked her to tell me the truth…to answer your question, as you know Marlena hasn’t been herself lately. When she’s herself, she’s the most wonderful woman in the world.”
“Mr. Black…”
“Call me John.”
“Alright John…why did you send her up here with him?” she asked pointing to Roman, confusion all over her face.
“Why not…She trusts Roman...I trust Roman…”
“But he’s the baby’s father,” Matrona interrupted. John and Roman looked at her with shock.
“You can’t say something like that woman…keep your mouth shut,” her husband warned her, as he grabbed her by the arm, pulling her closer to him.
“No, it’s okay Alexie…Roman’s not the baby’s father…why would you think that?” John asked as he moved closer to Matrona.
“Yeah why would you?” Roman asked.
“I’m the baby’s father,” John said with authority.
“That’s not what Mrs. Black says,” Matrona revealed.
“What?” John asked loudly.
“This is none of our business woman…keep your mouth shut,” Alexie warned her again. He liked his comfortable lifestyle as the caretaker for the lodge and saw with each comment his wife made his livelihood being placed in jeopardy.
“No, Alexie…I want Matrona to explain to me what she just said…you said that Mrs. Black says that I’m not the father of her baby?” John asked, looking for confirmation. Matrona shook her head yes, unable to look John in the eyes.
John looked to Roman for confirmation. Roman looked away. “Wait…wait…wait a minute…what the hell is going on? Of course I’m the father of that baby. I am the only one that she’s been with since she had her miscarriage…there has been no one else…. has there?” John looked around the kitchen, which seemed to be growing smaller by the minute. All the occupants looked around and at each other, trying to avoid John’s glare.
“What the hell are you suggesting? Marlena was unfaithful and some other man fathered that child?” John felt the bile rising in his throat at the possibility. “No way…no way…amnesia or not, she wouldn’t fucking do that…she wouldn’t,” John said as he paced back and forth in front of the kitchen island.
“Could this day get any worse,” John exclaimed as he stopped pacing and placed his hands on the counter. “Roman, has Marlena been with any other men since she developed amnesia?” John asked him point blank.
“I don’t know John…All I can tell you is that what Matrona is saying is true…” Roman couldn’t look at him.
“What?” John yelled.
“Marlena has mentioned to me that you may not be the father,” Roman revealed.
“This is bullshit,” John said as he abruptly left the kitchen. He ascended the staircase quickly, with Alexie, Roman and Matrona in pursuit. At the top of the stairs he turned around and faced them. “This is between me and my wife…I suggest that the three of you go back downstairs and stay out of this.” John turned around and quickly walked down the hall, opening every door looking for Marlena. At the end of the hall he saw light coming out from under the door of the master suite. John slowly opened the door to the room. The room smelled of her. He heard the water running in the bathroom and slowly made his way into the room. He saw her reflection in the mirror as she prepared to step into the bathroom tub. Her breasts were much fuller than the last time he had seen them. Her stomach rounded, holding a life inside. He estimated that she was at least eight months pregnant based on her size. Tears came to his eyes at the sight of what he had been missing. She was carrying a child, a child that could be his. He wanted to take her into his arms and comfort her, for the baby to be his, for her to be his. Most of all he wanted this nightmare to end. He wiped the tears from his eyes, only to find new ones in place. He was so moved by the sight of her, so filled with love, that he’d forgotten why he was angry with her.
He needed to see her face, see her eyes. “Oh doc,” he whispered as he looked at her face in the mirror and saw her staring back at him, tears in her eyes.
“John, I’d advise against that right now.”
“I don’t think you get it pal…you tell me my wife, my wife, is about to give birth and you’ve known about it all along?…You don’t get a say in what happens. As my friend, you should have fucking told me Roman.”
Roman breathed in deeply before responding, “I promised her…”
“You promised her? You promised her? You shouldn’t have promised her shit…you know that. Fucking look at her behavior pal…does she look like she’s able to make decisions for herself? Goddammit,” John yelled as he picked up a book that was sitting on his desk and threw it against the wall. “I am so fucking pissed right now.”
“That’s not going to change anything…its only going to make her more upset.”
“I am so far beyond caring about what will make Marlena upset right now…she’s fucking carrying my baby…my baby…oh god, this is a fucking nightmare all over again?” Memories of what he went through with Hope and JT flashed through his mind; the fetal alcohol syndrome, the surgeries. “She was fucking drinking and doing who knows what else while she was pregnant with my baby, wasn’t she.”
“I’m not sure John.”
“Don’t fucking lie to me about this one pal…this is too important…its no longer about Marlena anymore… I’ve got a child to think about here.” Memories of seeing Marlena drinking and laughing on the terrace entered his mind. He was sick with the knowledge that she was pregnant with his child then. What had she done to his baby?
“Maybe early on…but recently I don’t know. She’s been acting strange for months….I’m sorry John, I don’t know.”
John sat down dejectedly in his high-back leather chair, trying to process the news. “God, this is a mess. When I sent her up there with you, I was expecting a couple months of isolation to help her get her memory back. Never did I imagine that this was even a possibility…Okay, I’ve got to think what to do…I need to talk to her…I need to make sure that my baby is okay.”
“John, I realize that you are upset with Marlena and me…the last thing she needs right now is to talk to you.”
“Because she still thinks I raped her?” John asked as he rolled his eyes. Why did it always come back to this? He was growing tired of being accused of something that he didn’t do.
“I don’t know…she won’t talk about you.” Actually, she wasn’t talking much about anything anymore.
“That’s bullshit, at this point I don’t care if she thinks I raped her…she’s carrying my child…she doesn’t get to ignore me on this one…god I want to strangle her…what was she thinking not telling me about the baby?” John laid his head down on his desk, wondering how he went from blissful ignorance to a nightmare in a matter of minutes. “I’ll be up there in two hours…you have two hours to prepare her for my visit, because when I get up there she and I are going to have a little talk.”
“John, you’re just going to make it worse,” Roman warned, but not making much of an attempt to keep John away. “Just send the OB/GYN.”
“Pal, you couldn’t keep me away from my wife and my child,” John warned. He noticed on his blackberry that his pilot had responded that the plane was ready for takeoff. John got up from his chair, put on his black leather jacket and checked his watch. It would be dark when he arrived at the lodge.
“I agree, if I was in your situation, I’d be up here too. But John, if you are insistent on talking with her, I’ve got to prepare you for how she is now.”
“Go on,” John responded, dreading the new bombshell that Roman was likely to drop.
“She’s a basket case John. I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy hormones or not, but she is all over the place mood wise…When she was pregnant with Belle she was moody, but not like this.” John felt like a knife had stabbed him in his heart. Another reminder of how some other man was with his wife when she was carrying his child. He couldn’t go through it again. He needed to be there for Marlena and his child no matter how angry he was with her.
“She and Matrona fight all the time about everything. Doc is not a yeller, but she is one now…Alexie and I make excuses just to leave the lodge so that we don’t have to hear them…its been bad man…Hold on,” Roman said as he got up from the bed and walked over to the door of the room and opened it a crack. “I thought I heard Doc,” he whispered as he looked down the hallway for a sign that she had come out of her room.
“No sign,” Roman continued. “Anyway, she’s been trying hard to remember, but the harder she tries, the worse she seems to get.” Roman heard Marlena scream and then heard something hit the wall and shattered.
“What was that?” John asked in concern, having heard the noise over the phone.
“Gotta go and check on Doc,” Roman said as he disconnected the cell phone and ran down the hall towards Marlena’s room.
~~~~~
Roman heard the roar of the snow mobile engine outside of the lodge. He looked out the kitchen window hoping to spot John, but couldn’t seen anything in the darkness. From the looks of it, the cloud cover was low and there was minimal disability. Minutes later he heard the door of the mudroom open and close.
“Roman,” John said upon seeing Roman, standing in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his hand.
“It’s good to see you John,” Roman said as he reached out and shook John’s hand.
“Where’s Marlena?” John asked as he looked around.
“Upstairs sleeping,” Roman said looking toward the mudroom door. “Where’s the doctor?”
“The doctor will be here later tonight. On our flight out here, a call came over the VHF for help in a nearby village. Apparently a group of native school children fell through the ice this afternoon and are suffering from severe hypothermia. The public health nurse at the village clinic called for a medevac flight, but it couldn’t get there for another couple of hours, hours the children may not have. I had my pilot drop me off and then take the doctor to the village to get the kids and fly with them back to Anchorage. She should be back later this evening depending on the weather.”
“Hope that the kids are alright,” Roman said as he stared into his coffee cup.
“Roman, you are my friend…I fucking trusted you with my wife…Goddammit, why didn’t you tell me that Doc was pregnant?” John asked as he faced his former adversary.
Roman couldn’t look at him, so instead he started at the blackness outside. “Against my better judgement Marlena convinced me not to. I know you’re mad and I’m sorry.”
“I was mad, now I’m just hurt and confused. This should be a happy time…I mean, Doc and I always wanted another child and now we have one…but look at us….she can’t be around me without freaking out…I’m mad all the time at this situation and her for not remembering me.”
“So John, my man, have you warmed yourself up yet?” Alexie said as he entered the kitchen, interrupting the conversation.
“Not yet Pal, Roman and I were just catching up,” John said as he walked over to the maple cabinet, opened the door and pulled out an oversized coffee mug.
“Roman is a good man, my friend. A good man,” Alexie said as he put his arm around Roman’s shoulder. Both men watched as John poured himself a cup of coffee.
“That he is,” John said as he took a sip of the coffee. “Where’s Matrona, Alexie?” John asked.
“Did someone call for me,” Matrona said as she walked into the kitchen. “Mr. Black,” she said with excitement in her voice as she went over and hugged him. “It’s so good to see you Mr. Black.”
“I told you to call me John.”
“Sorry, you will always be Mr. Black to me,” Matrona said as she walked over to her husband and stood next to them, the darkness of their skin in contrast to the whiteness of the kitchen. “So, Mr. Black…what are we going to do?” she asked. “Mrs. Black is out to here,” Matrona said as she gestured with her hands how far out Marlenas stomach extended. John hoped that she was exaggerating. “That baby is going to be coming soon…she needs to go to a hospital or village clinic.”
“John brought a doctor but the doctor had to go to that village to get the kids…you know the ones that they spoke about on the VHF this afternoon,” Alexie explained to his wife.
“God be with them kids and that doctor…” Matrona said as she bowed her head briefly as if in prayer.
“I’m sure that they will be fine,” Roman said trying to reassure the group. The four occupants of the kitchen looked at each other as if in a loss for a conversation topic. Marlena was on everyone’s mind, but none was brave enough to bring her up. After several moments of silence John realized that he was going to have to be the one to break the ice.
“How is Marlena?” He asked. “Don’t give me the nice and polite answer Matrona and Alexie. Roman has already filled me in on her behavior as of late. I just want the truth. I want to know what I’m dealing with.” John looked back and forth between Alexie and Matrona wondering which one of them would be honest first.
“Alright…she’s a mean one, Mr. Black. You’re such a nice man…why did you ever pick that woman?”
“Matrona, you can’t say that to John,” Alexie scolded his wife.
“It’s alright Alexie, I asked her to tell me the truth…to answer your question, as you know Marlena hasn’t been herself lately. When she’s herself, she’s the most wonderful woman in the world.”
“Mr. Black…”
“Call me John.”
“Alright John…why did you send her up here with him?” she asked pointing to Roman, confusion all over her face.
“Why not…She trusts Roman...I trust Roman…”
“But he’s the baby’s father,” Matrona interrupted. John and Roman looked at her with shock.
“You can’t say something like that woman…keep your mouth shut,” her husband warned her, as he grabbed her by the arm, pulling her closer to him.
“No, it’s okay Alexie…Roman’s not the baby’s father…why would you think that?” John asked as he moved closer to Matrona.
“Yeah why would you?” Roman asked.
“I’m the baby’s father,” John said with authority.
“That’s not what Mrs. Black says,” Matrona revealed.
“What?” John asked loudly.
“This is none of our business woman…keep your mouth shut,” Alexie warned her again. He liked his comfortable lifestyle as the caretaker for the lodge and saw with each comment his wife made his livelihood being placed in jeopardy.
“No, Alexie…I want Matrona to explain to me what she just said…you said that Mrs. Black says that I’m not the father of her baby?” John asked, looking for confirmation. Matrona shook her head yes, unable to look John in the eyes.
John looked to Roman for confirmation. Roman looked away. “Wait…wait…wait a minute…what the hell is going on? Of course I’m the father of that baby. I am the only one that she’s been with since she had her miscarriage…there has been no one else…. has there?” John looked around the kitchen, which seemed to be growing smaller by the minute. All the occupants looked around and at each other, trying to avoid John’s glare.
“What the hell are you suggesting? Marlena was unfaithful and some other man fathered that child?” John felt the bile rising in his throat at the possibility. “No way…no way…amnesia or not, she wouldn’t fucking do that…she wouldn’t,” John said as he paced back and forth in front of the kitchen island.
“Could this day get any worse,” John exclaimed as he stopped pacing and placed his hands on the counter. “Roman, has Marlena been with any other men since she developed amnesia?” John asked him point blank.
“I don’t know John…All I can tell you is that what Matrona is saying is true…” Roman couldn’t look at him.
“What?” John yelled.
“Marlena has mentioned to me that you may not be the father,” Roman revealed.
“This is bullshit,” John said as he abruptly left the kitchen. He ascended the staircase quickly, with Alexie, Roman and Matrona in pursuit. At the top of the stairs he turned around and faced them. “This is between me and my wife…I suggest that the three of you go back downstairs and stay out of this.” John turned around and quickly walked down the hall, opening every door looking for Marlena. At the end of the hall he saw light coming out from under the door of the master suite. John slowly opened the door to the room. The room smelled of her. He heard the water running in the bathroom and slowly made his way into the room. He saw her reflection in the mirror as she prepared to step into the bathroom tub. Her breasts were much fuller than the last time he had seen them. Her stomach rounded, holding a life inside. He estimated that she was at least eight months pregnant based on her size. Tears came to his eyes at the sight of what he had been missing. She was carrying a child, a child that could be his. He wanted to take her into his arms and comfort her, for the baby to be his, for her to be his. Most of all he wanted this nightmare to end. He wiped the tears from his eyes, only to find new ones in place. He was so moved by the sight of her, so filled with love, that he’d forgotten why he was angry with her.
He needed to see her face, see her eyes. “Oh doc,” he whispered as he looked at her face in the mirror and saw her staring back at him, tears in her eyes.
