Post by Mimi on Aug 18, 2006 10:35:31 GMT -5
Darkness fell upon the tundra as John ran towards the snowmobile with Marlena in his arms. Roman followed closely behind, blankets and down winter parkas in hand. He was having a hard time navigating the unfamiliar winter terrain. Snow covered everything in sight discerning a clear pathway almost impossible. The temperature had dropped and the snow had started to fall once again.
“John, slow down and put on a jacket,” Roman screamed, his voice barely being heard above the roar of the wind.
“No time,” John replied, as he came to an abrupt stop. “Take her,” John yelled at Roman, while motioning to Marlena. Roman took Marlena out of John’s arms and watched as John sat behind Alexie on the snowmobile. “Give her to me,” John yelled. Roman slowly placed Marlena in Roman’s arms.
“Let’s go,” John yelled loudly tapping Alexie on the shoulder, as he cradled Marlena to his chest with his other arm.
“No John, she needs to be covered better. With the wind chill on the tundra, it’s not safe,” Roman yelled, concerned about all their welfare. The snow fall had started to pick up, greatly reducing the visibility. Roman strained to see the tree line in the distance.
John looked at his watch, concerned about the conditions and their lack of preparation, but having no choice. They had two minutes to get to the plane before it left. John grabbed the blankets from Roman and threw them over Marlena. “Are you coming or not?” he asked as he motioned behind him. Roman quickly sat down behind John and held onto John as the snowmobile roared to life.
Roman closed his eyes, not from fear, but from the sting on the wind and the snow on his face and eyes. He was loosing sensation in his fingers and toes and knew that frostbite was starting to set in. He hoped that Marlena was covered somewhat better than he was.
After what seemed like a long time, the snow mobile came to an abrupt stop. Roman opened his eyes and saw that they were on the airfield, next to a medevac plane. The smell of burning jet fuel filled the air. Alexie got off the snowmobile and took Marlena in his arms while John got off. Roman stood up as well, grabbing the blankets that had been covering Marlena and had fallen to the ground.
Roman followed John as he carried Marlena onto the plane, watching the trail of red blood that dotted the snow. Somewhere along the ride Marlena’s incision had started to reopen and blood was now starting to flow freely.
“Mr. Black, please lay her down over there,” Dr. Baines said as he motioned to the surgical table that lay in the front of the plane. As John carried his wife down the narrow aisle, he saw his children being frantically worked on by what he assumed were the two nurses that Dr. Baines had mentioned earlier.
John slowly layed Marlena down on the table and adjusted the frozen blankets. Her skin was bluish in color. “Come on sweetheart, hang in there for me for just a little longer,” John whispered in her ear.
“You have to help her now,” Roman ordered Dr. Baines. “She’s bleeding again.” John quickly pulled down the blanket and was horrified to see that Roman was right.
“I am not losing her…I am not losing her,” John muttered as he looked around the plane for something that he could use to stop the bleeding. “I need some sterile gauze and some clotting medication stat,” John ordered the physician.
Dr. Baines glanced back at John and Marlena before continuing his conversation with the pilot. “We’ve got to leave now,” the pilot ordered Dr. Baines.
“We can’t leave without Dr. Anderson,” Dr. Baines clearly stated.
“The hell we can’t,” John muttered under his breath, but loud enough for Roman to hear. He frantically dug though some cabinets of supplies nearby looking for something to help his wife with.
“John, what if we need him?” Roman asked, as he rubbed his hands together, trying to bring feeling back into them.
“We don’t need him. He wanted to leave Marlena back at the lodge to die…he stays.” John was beyond caring what happened to the good doctor. He just wanted his family out of the arctic wilderness and to safety.
“We’re leaving in approximately one minute…all passengers and patients need to be secured,” the pilot said over the plane loud speaker. Guess they weren’t going to wait for the good doctor. John and Roman were ordered to a row of seats at the back of the plane while Dr. Baines secured Marlena to the table. John watched anxiously and helplessly as the doctor secured an oxygen mask to her face as the plane went down the runway. He hoped that he had made the right decision.
~~~~~
“John, you need to talk to her,” Roman said, taking John aside after he saw him leave the neonatal intensive care unit. The medevac had arrived safely in Anchorage, where Marlena and the infants were treated. Marlena was immediately taken into surgery where her surgical incision was reopened, cleaned and closed. The doctors were amazed that with all the trauma that her body had gone through, that she was doing so well.
“I’ve tried pal, I’ve tried…she just won’t deal with it and won’t discuss anything that’s happened.” John said in frustration. “No matter how many times I bring up the subject, it’s an non-issue with her. I was hoping that the kids would be able to break through this wall that she’s put up, but they’re so happy to see their mom and know that she remembers them that they don’t even see what’s wrong.” John watched the tiny incubators that held his children, looking for any sign of movement that would indicate to him that they were on the road to recovery.
“Do you want me to talk to her?” Roman offered while looking through the large glass window that separated Rachel and Noah from the outside world.
John stood back and studied Roman for several seconds before responding. “Roman, I can never thank you enough for all that you’ve done for my family. I am seriously indebted to you for life. What you’ve done for us goes way beyond the responsibility of ex-husband….”
“Do I hear a but coming on?” Roman joked, trying to bring some levity into a conversation that was quickly becoming serious.
John laughed, “But, at some point Doc and I are going to have to face our problems and deal with them together and alone. You can’t continue to be the third person in our marriage that I run to when I have a disagreement with Doc and need you to smooth things over with her. Sooner or later, in the cold light of the day, she and I are going to have to face the events of the last year. It’s my hope that our marriage is strong enough to survive.”
“I totally understand John. Know that I love you both and would do anything to help you. So what did the doctor say about the babies?” Roman could see the worry on John’s face.
“Where do I start?” John said as he leaned his forehead against the cold glass.
“How is Rachel doing after her surgery?” Roman asked, knowing that the past seven days had been particularly stressful on John. Before Rachel could be hooked up to the life support system on the plane, she had arrested and had to be revived. Tests done on her heart upon arrival at the hospital indicated that she had a sizable hole in her heart that if not repaired, would prove to be fatal. Marlena was out of it, recovering from her own surgery, so John had to sign the consent forms on his own, not knowing whether or not he was making the right decision. When John had tried to discuss Rachel’s medical problems with Marlena she refused to even discuss the child with John and had become extremely agitated.
“She’s the same…its touch and go right now…I’m afraid to leave the hospital in case something happens.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Nope, just being here helps.”
“How’s Noah doing?”
“He’s doing well…the tests on his heart came back fine. For being premature, he’s doing really well right now. The doctors are trying to build up his lungs a little more and get him to put on some weight.”
“They’re both so tiny.”
“I know…they seem much smaller here than they did at the lodge. Noah now weighs three pounds and four ounces and is gaining ounces by the day. Rachel seems to be stuck at two pounds six ounces.” John had eaten a steak once that weighed more than Rachel.
“God Sami and Eric seem like pigs in comparison…I think they both weighed somewhere around seven pounds.”
“I’d take that seven pounds about right now…Once Noah hits the five pound mark we can discuss taking him home.”
“What about Rachel?”
“The doctors aren’t confident that she’ll reach that weight anytime soon…the question with her is do I transfer her to Salem University Hospital NICU or stay here until she’s better?”
“How much time are we talking?”
“Could be weeks, could be months…”
Roman stood back stunned, a couple months in a foreign city with no family support would be extremely difficult on anyone. “What does Doc say about all this?”
“Nothing, because she won’t discuss the issue…As always the choice is mine to make.”
“But once they come home, things will be okay, right?”
“Not necessarily, that’s the unknown in all of this…Because they were both premature, the doctors don’t know and won’t know the extent of any developmental or mental disabilities at this time.” John couldn’t even look at Roman, afraid that Roman would see all his fears about something being wrong with his children.
“Oh John,” Roman said as he put his arm around his friend. “I’m sure that they will be fine. They’re Blacks, their little fighters…if any two children have a chance to overcome the impossible, its them.”
“Thanks Roman for the encouragement, but its still hard to fathom that something could be wrong with them. I held them both in my arms at birth, they were both so perfect in every way…how could that not still be the case? After everything that Doc and I have been through, how could we be punished like this?”
“Don’t ever think of them as punishments John…Don’t. Both of those children in there are blessings from God along with their mother. Do you have any idea of how lucky you are? I would kill to be in your shoes. To be able to go home at the end of the day to Marlena and those two babies. You have been given another chance with Marlena by God, don’t mess it up.”
“I guess I sound a little ungrateful, don’t I?”
“No, you’re just human…Sometimes you just need a reminder of all that’s good in your life.”
“When did you get to be such a wise man Roman Brady?”
“Oh its taken years, years of longing for someone and something that I thought I wanted but realizing in the cold light of the day that it was an illusion that I was chasing and was never real or mine to have. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret for a minute the time I spent with Doc and our children, I just know that it, she, is not what I want for my future.”
“I never thought that we’d ever get to a place where we could discuss the past, particularly Doc, with such openness and honesty.”
“I’m glad that we can…As you know, she is such a special woman, a stubborn pain in the ass at times, but special nonetheless.”
“That she is,” John said with a smile. “I’m going to go down and see how Doc is doing. Is Eric still with her?”
“When I left he was. Carrie is flying in to Anchorage tonight and I’m sure that she’ll want to see her.”
“I can’t wait to see her…it’s been years.” John still got the occasional call and letter from Carrie, but it wasn’t the same.
“I know…my little girl all grown up and living in another country…Sami and Belle are shopping right now for things for Marlena and the babies. They both thought that Marlena could use some new clothes to cheer her up. I do have to say that out of all the kids Belle is taking all that’s happened the hardest.”
“Belle?”
“I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but I overheard her talking to Sami and she is having a tough time reconciling in her mind how her mother could have gone off and gotten pregnant and not told her dad.” John closed his eyes and brought his hands to his mouth.
“I should have known that was coming…I guess I need to talk with her…It’s hard to separate the Marlena everyone is used to from this Marlena, if you know what I mean. There are going to be lots of things that need to be explained and some things I’m sure that can’t and shouldn’t be…I’m still having a hard time grasping the truth.”
“In time everything will come out and I’m sure that the kids won’t have an issue with it, nor your true friends. Don’t worry about peoples reaction John, you have enough to worry about right now.”
“Yes, but you’ve brought up a very good point…we are going to have to return to Salem soon and face all of our family and friends. How do you even begin to explain the journey that we’ve all been on this last year?”
“One person and one conversation at a time…its going to be hardest on Marlena.”
“And that’s the last thing she needs…”
“Sooner or later, we’re all going to have to stop protecting her and making things right for her…”
“I know, but I just love her so much and want to protect her from any pain.”
“You can’t keep on doing that forever. From what she’s told me, as you know it appears that she has her memory back…Most, if not all of it…. Maybe things will be easier from here on out.”
“I hope you’re right Roman, I hope you’re right.”
“John, slow down and put on a jacket,” Roman screamed, his voice barely being heard above the roar of the wind.
“No time,” John replied, as he came to an abrupt stop. “Take her,” John yelled at Roman, while motioning to Marlena. Roman took Marlena out of John’s arms and watched as John sat behind Alexie on the snowmobile. “Give her to me,” John yelled. Roman slowly placed Marlena in Roman’s arms.
“Let’s go,” John yelled loudly tapping Alexie on the shoulder, as he cradled Marlena to his chest with his other arm.
“No John, she needs to be covered better. With the wind chill on the tundra, it’s not safe,” Roman yelled, concerned about all their welfare. The snow fall had started to pick up, greatly reducing the visibility. Roman strained to see the tree line in the distance.
John looked at his watch, concerned about the conditions and their lack of preparation, but having no choice. They had two minutes to get to the plane before it left. John grabbed the blankets from Roman and threw them over Marlena. “Are you coming or not?” he asked as he motioned behind him. Roman quickly sat down behind John and held onto John as the snowmobile roared to life.
Roman closed his eyes, not from fear, but from the sting on the wind and the snow on his face and eyes. He was loosing sensation in his fingers and toes and knew that frostbite was starting to set in. He hoped that Marlena was covered somewhat better than he was.
After what seemed like a long time, the snow mobile came to an abrupt stop. Roman opened his eyes and saw that they were on the airfield, next to a medevac plane. The smell of burning jet fuel filled the air. Alexie got off the snowmobile and took Marlena in his arms while John got off. Roman stood up as well, grabbing the blankets that had been covering Marlena and had fallen to the ground.
Roman followed John as he carried Marlena onto the plane, watching the trail of red blood that dotted the snow. Somewhere along the ride Marlena’s incision had started to reopen and blood was now starting to flow freely.
“Mr. Black, please lay her down over there,” Dr. Baines said as he motioned to the surgical table that lay in the front of the plane. As John carried his wife down the narrow aisle, he saw his children being frantically worked on by what he assumed were the two nurses that Dr. Baines had mentioned earlier.
John slowly layed Marlena down on the table and adjusted the frozen blankets. Her skin was bluish in color. “Come on sweetheart, hang in there for me for just a little longer,” John whispered in her ear.
“You have to help her now,” Roman ordered Dr. Baines. “She’s bleeding again.” John quickly pulled down the blanket and was horrified to see that Roman was right.
“I am not losing her…I am not losing her,” John muttered as he looked around the plane for something that he could use to stop the bleeding. “I need some sterile gauze and some clotting medication stat,” John ordered the physician.
Dr. Baines glanced back at John and Marlena before continuing his conversation with the pilot. “We’ve got to leave now,” the pilot ordered Dr. Baines.
“We can’t leave without Dr. Anderson,” Dr. Baines clearly stated.
“The hell we can’t,” John muttered under his breath, but loud enough for Roman to hear. He frantically dug though some cabinets of supplies nearby looking for something to help his wife with.
“John, what if we need him?” Roman asked, as he rubbed his hands together, trying to bring feeling back into them.
“We don’t need him. He wanted to leave Marlena back at the lodge to die…he stays.” John was beyond caring what happened to the good doctor. He just wanted his family out of the arctic wilderness and to safety.
“We’re leaving in approximately one minute…all passengers and patients need to be secured,” the pilot said over the plane loud speaker. Guess they weren’t going to wait for the good doctor. John and Roman were ordered to a row of seats at the back of the plane while Dr. Baines secured Marlena to the table. John watched anxiously and helplessly as the doctor secured an oxygen mask to her face as the plane went down the runway. He hoped that he had made the right decision.
~~~~~
“John, you need to talk to her,” Roman said, taking John aside after he saw him leave the neonatal intensive care unit. The medevac had arrived safely in Anchorage, where Marlena and the infants were treated. Marlena was immediately taken into surgery where her surgical incision was reopened, cleaned and closed. The doctors were amazed that with all the trauma that her body had gone through, that she was doing so well.
“I’ve tried pal, I’ve tried…she just won’t deal with it and won’t discuss anything that’s happened.” John said in frustration. “No matter how many times I bring up the subject, it’s an non-issue with her. I was hoping that the kids would be able to break through this wall that she’s put up, but they’re so happy to see their mom and know that she remembers them that they don’t even see what’s wrong.” John watched the tiny incubators that held his children, looking for any sign of movement that would indicate to him that they were on the road to recovery.
“Do you want me to talk to her?” Roman offered while looking through the large glass window that separated Rachel and Noah from the outside world.
John stood back and studied Roman for several seconds before responding. “Roman, I can never thank you enough for all that you’ve done for my family. I am seriously indebted to you for life. What you’ve done for us goes way beyond the responsibility of ex-husband….”
“Do I hear a but coming on?” Roman joked, trying to bring some levity into a conversation that was quickly becoming serious.
John laughed, “But, at some point Doc and I are going to have to face our problems and deal with them together and alone. You can’t continue to be the third person in our marriage that I run to when I have a disagreement with Doc and need you to smooth things over with her. Sooner or later, in the cold light of the day, she and I are going to have to face the events of the last year. It’s my hope that our marriage is strong enough to survive.”
“I totally understand John. Know that I love you both and would do anything to help you. So what did the doctor say about the babies?” Roman could see the worry on John’s face.
“Where do I start?” John said as he leaned his forehead against the cold glass.
“How is Rachel doing after her surgery?” Roman asked, knowing that the past seven days had been particularly stressful on John. Before Rachel could be hooked up to the life support system on the plane, she had arrested and had to be revived. Tests done on her heart upon arrival at the hospital indicated that she had a sizable hole in her heart that if not repaired, would prove to be fatal. Marlena was out of it, recovering from her own surgery, so John had to sign the consent forms on his own, not knowing whether or not he was making the right decision. When John had tried to discuss Rachel’s medical problems with Marlena she refused to even discuss the child with John and had become extremely agitated.
“She’s the same…its touch and go right now…I’m afraid to leave the hospital in case something happens.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Nope, just being here helps.”
“How’s Noah doing?”
“He’s doing well…the tests on his heart came back fine. For being premature, he’s doing really well right now. The doctors are trying to build up his lungs a little more and get him to put on some weight.”
“They’re both so tiny.”
“I know…they seem much smaller here than they did at the lodge. Noah now weighs three pounds and four ounces and is gaining ounces by the day. Rachel seems to be stuck at two pounds six ounces.” John had eaten a steak once that weighed more than Rachel.
“God Sami and Eric seem like pigs in comparison…I think they both weighed somewhere around seven pounds.”
“I’d take that seven pounds about right now…Once Noah hits the five pound mark we can discuss taking him home.”
“What about Rachel?”
“The doctors aren’t confident that she’ll reach that weight anytime soon…the question with her is do I transfer her to Salem University Hospital NICU or stay here until she’s better?”
“How much time are we talking?”
“Could be weeks, could be months…”
Roman stood back stunned, a couple months in a foreign city with no family support would be extremely difficult on anyone. “What does Doc say about all this?”
“Nothing, because she won’t discuss the issue…As always the choice is mine to make.”
“But once they come home, things will be okay, right?”
“Not necessarily, that’s the unknown in all of this…Because they were both premature, the doctors don’t know and won’t know the extent of any developmental or mental disabilities at this time.” John couldn’t even look at Roman, afraid that Roman would see all his fears about something being wrong with his children.
“Oh John,” Roman said as he put his arm around his friend. “I’m sure that they will be fine. They’re Blacks, their little fighters…if any two children have a chance to overcome the impossible, its them.”
“Thanks Roman for the encouragement, but its still hard to fathom that something could be wrong with them. I held them both in my arms at birth, they were both so perfect in every way…how could that not still be the case? After everything that Doc and I have been through, how could we be punished like this?”
“Don’t ever think of them as punishments John…Don’t. Both of those children in there are blessings from God along with their mother. Do you have any idea of how lucky you are? I would kill to be in your shoes. To be able to go home at the end of the day to Marlena and those two babies. You have been given another chance with Marlena by God, don’t mess it up.”
“I guess I sound a little ungrateful, don’t I?”
“No, you’re just human…Sometimes you just need a reminder of all that’s good in your life.”
“When did you get to be such a wise man Roman Brady?”
“Oh its taken years, years of longing for someone and something that I thought I wanted but realizing in the cold light of the day that it was an illusion that I was chasing and was never real or mine to have. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret for a minute the time I spent with Doc and our children, I just know that it, she, is not what I want for my future.”
“I never thought that we’d ever get to a place where we could discuss the past, particularly Doc, with such openness and honesty.”
“I’m glad that we can…As you know, she is such a special woman, a stubborn pain in the ass at times, but special nonetheless.”
“That she is,” John said with a smile. “I’m going to go down and see how Doc is doing. Is Eric still with her?”
“When I left he was. Carrie is flying in to Anchorage tonight and I’m sure that she’ll want to see her.”
“I can’t wait to see her…it’s been years.” John still got the occasional call and letter from Carrie, but it wasn’t the same.
“I know…my little girl all grown up and living in another country…Sami and Belle are shopping right now for things for Marlena and the babies. They both thought that Marlena could use some new clothes to cheer her up. I do have to say that out of all the kids Belle is taking all that’s happened the hardest.”
“Belle?”
“I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but I overheard her talking to Sami and she is having a tough time reconciling in her mind how her mother could have gone off and gotten pregnant and not told her dad.” John closed his eyes and brought his hands to his mouth.
“I should have known that was coming…I guess I need to talk with her…It’s hard to separate the Marlena everyone is used to from this Marlena, if you know what I mean. There are going to be lots of things that need to be explained and some things I’m sure that can’t and shouldn’t be…I’m still having a hard time grasping the truth.”
“In time everything will come out and I’m sure that the kids won’t have an issue with it, nor your true friends. Don’t worry about peoples reaction John, you have enough to worry about right now.”
“Yes, but you’ve brought up a very good point…we are going to have to return to Salem soon and face all of our family and friends. How do you even begin to explain the journey that we’ve all been on this last year?”
“One person and one conversation at a time…its going to be hardest on Marlena.”
“And that’s the last thing she needs…”
“Sooner or later, we’re all going to have to stop protecting her and making things right for her…”
“I know, but I just love her so much and want to protect her from any pain.”
“You can’t keep on doing that forever. From what she’s told me, as you know it appears that she has her memory back…Most, if not all of it…. Maybe things will be easier from here on out.”
“I hope you’re right Roman, I hope you’re right.”
