Post by Mimi on Aug 18, 2006 10:39:58 GMT -5
“You can do this…you can do this,” Marlena muttered to herself as she slowly stepped out of the elevator. John looked at her with concern, before taking her hand and guiding her down the hall towards the Salem University Hospital neonatal intensive care unit. Marlena held tightly onto John’s hand for support, afraid that if she let go, she would fall.
“Doc,” Roman said as he rose up from the chair in the waiting room to meet her, kissing her on the cheek. She felt the comfort of his whiskered stubble as it scratched against her cheek. She breathed in his scent, the familiar smell a welcome reprieve from the sterility of the hospital.
She smiled awkwardly at him, uncomfortable with the knowledge that she couldn’t hide from him. She had been so hurtful and rude to him the last time she saw him and he hadn’t been by the see her since. Was all forgiven? He wouldn’t be here if he was still mad, right? Could she dare to hope that he might have forgotten what she said?
She glanced up at John, who hadn’t left her side. She couldn’t read his face like she used to. As she stared into his dark blue eyes, she wanted to find comfort and love but felt nothing. Nothing but a deep sadness in her soul, knowing that she was alone and unloved. As she studied his ruggedly handsome face, she was acutely aware for the first time in a long time that time hadn’t changed things, she had. Glancing around the small waiting room at family and friends, she knew that they were really there to support John and the babies, not her. Over time, one bad decision after another, she had managed to put distance between herself and everyone else. Maybe she was doing it to protect them from who she was. Maybe it was to protect her from them. Better to hurt than to be hurt. It was better that way.
John stood by helplessly as Marlena looked up at him, her hazel eyes occluded by the well of tears that gently laid on her lashes waiting to fall. He wanted to comfort her during this horrible ordeal but didn’t know how. In the car ride over her had tried several times to initiate a conversation, but gave up trying after several attempts. Marlena was shutting out the outside world, retreating further into her self. She wouldn’t talk about what was bothering her. She was the most beautiful person he’d ever met, inside and out, yet also the most tortured. Why couldn’t she see how loved she was and what an amazing mother, lover, wife and friend she was? Why didn’t she trust him and their love?
Marlena felt Belle put her small arms around her and hug her tight. She held her daughter close to her, hoping that she could somehow derive the strength to get through this from her, but knowing that she wouldn’t. As Marlena slowly rubbed Belle’s back as Belle sobbed in her arms, Marlena was jealous. She wanted to be the one comforted by another. The more Belle cried, the number Marlena felt. She slowly let go of Belle, hoping to be relieved of the burden. Belle immediately went into her father’s arms, where John provided the loving support and comfort that Belle needed. As Sami hugged her mother, Marlena watched John and Belle with sadness and envy. “I love you mom,” Eric whispered as he embraced his mother. Marlena squeezed him, wishing that she’d feel something to make her pain go away. Eric released Marlena as Carrie gave her a quick hug. They had the perfect family. Why didn’t it feel that way, Marlena wondered.
Marlena felt as if time slowed down and everyone was watching her. Carrie, Eric, Sami and Belle stood to the side of the waiting room looking in her direction. Her mother and father sat at the far end of the waiting room heavily involved in a conversation with Carolyn and Shawn Brady. Bo and Hope, Mickey and Maggie, Alice, Kate and Victor filled out the waiting room. Marlena wanted to hide and retreat to a place where it was safe and that she wouldn’t be judged for who she was. She knew from the stares that they all felt sorry for her. She didn’t want or need their pity, she just wanted their love and acceptance.
John helplessly watched Marlena’s face as it underwent subtle changes as her mind processed the myriad of emotions she was feeling. She could try to hide what she was feeling from the outside world and from him and act as if everything was fine, but her eyes never lied. As Father Jansen entered the waiting room, John watched as Marlena’s tears that she so valiantly was holding back finally fell. She grasped John’s hand tight as he approached them.
“John and Marlena, so good to see you once again, but I’m sorry its on such a sad occasion,” Father Jansen said as he gently touched John and Marlena on their arms. Marlena pulled her arm back, not wanting to be touched by the man of the cloth.
“I understand your wish is to have your children baptized tonight.” Marlena closed her eyes and turned away from John and Father Jansen, John’s hand the only tether keeping her there.
“Yes, that is our wish,” John responded as he tightly held Marlena’s hand. Her hand was cold and clammy and he could feel the small trembles in it. She was frightened and wanted to run, but he wasn’t going to let her. As the mother of Rachel and Noah, she owed it to them, to him, to be there. He wouldn’t give her the out, no matter how much it hurt him or her.
“Before we start, I’d like to talk with the two of you in private,” the priest said, picking up on the tension between the parents.
“Sure,” John said as he led Father Jansen toward a private family conference room that he knew was located at the end of the hall. John motioned for Marlena to take the seat furthest from door. Father Jansen sat down across from Marlena. John closed the heavy wooden door and then took his place next to Marlena.
“I understand from talking with John and the doctors that your child Rachel is quite sick,” Father Jansen said looking directly at Marlena. Marlena ran her hands along the smooth leather of the conference room chair, not wanting to participate in this conversation.
“Marlena,” John said tenderly as he took hold of her hand and brought it to his lap. Marlena grasped his hand for support, digging her nails into his skin.
“It is both of your wishes to have your children baptized in the Catholic faith?” he asked.
“It is,” John said and Marlena nodded.
“Who have you selected to be the godparents of this child?” John looked to Marlena for some indication of her wishes.
“I haven’t really thought about it,” John replied honestly.
“Marlena, do you have any preference?” John asked her.
Marlena sat numbly at the table clutching and unclenching John’s hand. “Honey?” He asked her as he lowered his head to look into her eyes.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered as tears came to her eyes. “I can’t do this John…please don’t make me do this.”
“Together we’ll get through this…together,” John said as he tightened his grasp on her hand and raised it to his lips and kissed it. Marlena closed her eyes tightly as she started to cry.
John took her into his arms and held her while her small frame shook, and her resolve started to melt.
“Are you sure about this…I can give you more time if that’s what you need,” Father Jansen offered.
“No, we’re sure about this,” John said, looking over Marlenas shoulder at the priest. “Do you want me to make the decision,” he softly asked her.
“Yes,” she whispered, her blond head lying against his shoulder, eyes closed.
“I’d like Roman to be the godfather of both twins…and I was thinking Sami as the godmother.”
“Sami?” Marlena asked in surprise, as she raised her head from his shoulder and looked him in the eyes, confused.
“Yes, she reminds me so much of you at times…she’s stubborn as hell at times but never gives up even when the odds are against her and when everyone tells her she should. I want someone like that on the babies side.”
“Okay,” Marlena said, still stunned that with the history between John and Samantha that he would even consider her. But when she thought about it, she really didn’t have any close female friends that she could ask. There was no way that John would ever agree on Maggie being the children’s godmother and Kate and Hope were out of the question given John’s past relationship with both women.
“Before we proceed, you need to ask both of them…If you’d like I can administer the anointing of the sick to Rachel without her being baptized, but it was my understanding from John that he wanted both children to be baptized first.”
“Let me go get them,” John said as he released Marlena and stood up.
Minute’s later John returned to the room to find Marlena sitting defensively in her chair, arms across her chest. Her resolved softened when she saw John, Roman and Sami.
“Is something wrong mom?” Sami asked as she went to her mom. She had been terrified when she saw Father Jansen enter the waiting room. They knew that Rachel was sick, but dying? In Sami’s mind, that had to be the reason why he was there, why they all were there.
“Roman and Sami, Marlena and I would like for you both to be the godparents of the twins,” John said, upon seeing the concern on Sami’s face.
“Are you serious?” Roman asked. He had hoped that he would be asked, but didn’t know if Marlena would even consider it.
“Roman, my friend, there’s no one else I’d trust those kids with…you were there when they were born and I know that you’ll always be there to look out for them.”
“I’d be honored to be their godfather,” Roman responded, beaming with pride. He looked over at Marlena and saw that she was trying to force a smile as a single tear ran down her face.
“Sami?” John said as he approached her. She was sitting in the chair next to Marlena, looking like she was in shock. John noticed that she was crying.
“Honey,” he said as he rubbed her back. “If you don’t want to, that’s okay.”
“It’s not that,” she said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “I guess I just never expected this.”
“Why not?” John asked, noticing that Marlena was slowly rubbing Sami’s back, trying to provide her daughter with some comfort.
“I guess I never thought that you trusted me as much as Belle or Carrie…Growing up it always seemed that they could never do any wrong,” Sami admitted between her tears. Marlena took Sami into her arms and held her as she cried, releasing all her insecurities and the inferiority she felt growing up.
“Sami, we love and wouldn’t have asked you if we didn’t think that you’d be the best choice,” John said as she rubbed her back. Sami got up from the chair and hugged her stepfather. “Thank you John. You’ll never know how much this means to me,” she said as she wiped her eyes. “You won’t regret this…I’ll be the best Godmother to those babies.”
“It appears that we have two willing godparents…Do you need a few more minutes before the baptism?” Father Jansen asked.
“No, I think we’re ready,” John said as he released Sami from his embrace and walked around the table and took Marlena’s hand.
“Thank you,” she whispered to John. “Thank-you.”
Father Jansen led John, Marlena, Sami and Roman down the hall to the group that had assembled. More family members and close friends had gathered as Carrie and Belle made more calls, feeling that their parents could use the support and prayers. Marlena stood off to the side, wishing that she were invisible. She couldn’t do this, couldn’t grieve, in front of all these people.
“Marlena and I’d like a few minutes alone with the children, if you don’t mind,” John said noticing the distressed look on Marlena’s face. He clutched her hand tightly and slowly pulled her into the NICU.
The quietness of the room and smell of disinfectant permeated Marlena’s nostrils. She had been in this room several times before, but this time it was different. She stood firmly in the doorway, not having the strength to move further. John once again pulled on her hand and let her to an incubator in the corner of the room. She saw the name on the isolet. Noah Black. It was all too real for her. Pictures could lie, pictures could help her deny, but reality couldn’t. This premature child was hers, a part of her and John. Not wanting to look at the baby, hooked up to wires and eyes taped shut; Marlena grabbed his medical chart and started flipping through it. Vitals good, no sign of neurological damage at this time, organs functioning, blood panels good. Marlena put the chart back and turned her back to the isolet. John was to preoccupied intently studying his son, that he failed to notice Marlena’s reaction.
As Marlena walked to the door of the NICU, John caught up with her and grabbed her arm. “You need to see Rachel,” he whispered. “Please.” Marlena nodded, knowing that she didn’t have a choice. John led her to the crib that held her dying daughter. Rachel Black, the tag said. Rachel, she hated the name, associating it with Kristin Blake. Why had John chosen that name? She studied the tag, knowing that the longer she studied it, the longer she could put off having to face the fact that her dying child lay below the name tag. Her dying child that would never grow up to be Rachel Black. What kind of a monster was she? What kind of woman wished that she was never pregnant and that she would miscarry?
She was terrified of looking down at Rachel, afraid that all the memories that she’d successfully managed to put into a box in her mind and store away about DJ and his death would rise to the surface. She couldn’t handle losing another child, she knew as a psychiatrist that her mind was too fragile to handle it. Hell, she’d done enough self-diagnosis on herself to know that she was not well. First her son DJ, now Rachel?
Summoning courage that she didn’t know she still had, Marlena eyes slowly moved from the name card, down to the crib that held her daughter.
“Oh my god,” she muttered as she fell to her knees on the floor, grasping her hands to her chest.
“What have I done,” she cried out, tears streaming down her face. John started crying at Marlena’s reaction. He moved behind her and put his hands on her shoulders and held onto her as she cried. Her shoulders shook as sob after sob released all the pain and feelings of helplessness that she’d been feeling for months. After ten minutes of crying, John helped her up from the floor and stood behind her in front of the crib. He put her arms around her waist and pulled her tight to him.
“That’s our baby Rachel,” he whispered. Marlena felt his tears fall softly onto her hair and felt the trembling of his rib cage and chest as he cried.
As Marlena looked down into the special crib and studied her dying daughter’s form, it was hard for her to see where the baby was from all the machines. The ventilator that was breathing for her obscured much of her tiny face, her head bandaged from the shunt that had been placed in her brain. Down the center and side of her body, Marlena could see the surgical tape that masked the incision of her heart surgery. All sorts of tubes and monitoring equipment were attached to her arms and legs. As Marlena reached down to grasp her daughter’s perfect hand, John pulled her back.
“You can’t touch her Marlena,” John warned her. “The germs.”
“If she’s going to die anyway, then she’s going to die knowing that she was loved by her mother,” Marlena said defiantly as she jerked her hand free from John and gently touched Rachel for the first time.
As Marlena touched Rachel’s tiny hand and stroked her five perfect fingers she looked at Rachel in awe. Against all the odds, Rachel was still here.
“Rae-Rae,” Marlena whispered to her daughter, not wanting to call her Rachel. “I’m your momma, can you hear me? I love you and want you to get better.”
John watched with hope, hope that the woman that he married was back and that his daughter would live.
“Doc,” Roman said as he rose up from the chair in the waiting room to meet her, kissing her on the cheek. She felt the comfort of his whiskered stubble as it scratched against her cheek. She breathed in his scent, the familiar smell a welcome reprieve from the sterility of the hospital.
She smiled awkwardly at him, uncomfortable with the knowledge that she couldn’t hide from him. She had been so hurtful and rude to him the last time she saw him and he hadn’t been by the see her since. Was all forgiven? He wouldn’t be here if he was still mad, right? Could she dare to hope that he might have forgotten what she said?
She glanced up at John, who hadn’t left her side. She couldn’t read his face like she used to. As she stared into his dark blue eyes, she wanted to find comfort and love but felt nothing. Nothing but a deep sadness in her soul, knowing that she was alone and unloved. As she studied his ruggedly handsome face, she was acutely aware for the first time in a long time that time hadn’t changed things, she had. Glancing around the small waiting room at family and friends, she knew that they were really there to support John and the babies, not her. Over time, one bad decision after another, she had managed to put distance between herself and everyone else. Maybe she was doing it to protect them from who she was. Maybe it was to protect her from them. Better to hurt than to be hurt. It was better that way.
John stood by helplessly as Marlena looked up at him, her hazel eyes occluded by the well of tears that gently laid on her lashes waiting to fall. He wanted to comfort her during this horrible ordeal but didn’t know how. In the car ride over her had tried several times to initiate a conversation, but gave up trying after several attempts. Marlena was shutting out the outside world, retreating further into her self. She wouldn’t talk about what was bothering her. She was the most beautiful person he’d ever met, inside and out, yet also the most tortured. Why couldn’t she see how loved she was and what an amazing mother, lover, wife and friend she was? Why didn’t she trust him and their love?
Marlena felt Belle put her small arms around her and hug her tight. She held her daughter close to her, hoping that she could somehow derive the strength to get through this from her, but knowing that she wouldn’t. As Marlena slowly rubbed Belle’s back as Belle sobbed in her arms, Marlena was jealous. She wanted to be the one comforted by another. The more Belle cried, the number Marlena felt. She slowly let go of Belle, hoping to be relieved of the burden. Belle immediately went into her father’s arms, where John provided the loving support and comfort that Belle needed. As Sami hugged her mother, Marlena watched John and Belle with sadness and envy. “I love you mom,” Eric whispered as he embraced his mother. Marlena squeezed him, wishing that she’d feel something to make her pain go away. Eric released Marlena as Carrie gave her a quick hug. They had the perfect family. Why didn’t it feel that way, Marlena wondered.
Marlena felt as if time slowed down and everyone was watching her. Carrie, Eric, Sami and Belle stood to the side of the waiting room looking in her direction. Her mother and father sat at the far end of the waiting room heavily involved in a conversation with Carolyn and Shawn Brady. Bo and Hope, Mickey and Maggie, Alice, Kate and Victor filled out the waiting room. Marlena wanted to hide and retreat to a place where it was safe and that she wouldn’t be judged for who she was. She knew from the stares that they all felt sorry for her. She didn’t want or need their pity, she just wanted their love and acceptance.
John helplessly watched Marlena’s face as it underwent subtle changes as her mind processed the myriad of emotions she was feeling. She could try to hide what she was feeling from the outside world and from him and act as if everything was fine, but her eyes never lied. As Father Jansen entered the waiting room, John watched as Marlena’s tears that she so valiantly was holding back finally fell. She grasped John’s hand tight as he approached them.
“John and Marlena, so good to see you once again, but I’m sorry its on such a sad occasion,” Father Jansen said as he gently touched John and Marlena on their arms. Marlena pulled her arm back, not wanting to be touched by the man of the cloth.
“I understand your wish is to have your children baptized tonight.” Marlena closed her eyes and turned away from John and Father Jansen, John’s hand the only tether keeping her there.
“Yes, that is our wish,” John responded as he tightly held Marlena’s hand. Her hand was cold and clammy and he could feel the small trembles in it. She was frightened and wanted to run, but he wasn’t going to let her. As the mother of Rachel and Noah, she owed it to them, to him, to be there. He wouldn’t give her the out, no matter how much it hurt him or her.
“Before we start, I’d like to talk with the two of you in private,” the priest said, picking up on the tension between the parents.
“Sure,” John said as he led Father Jansen toward a private family conference room that he knew was located at the end of the hall. John motioned for Marlena to take the seat furthest from door. Father Jansen sat down across from Marlena. John closed the heavy wooden door and then took his place next to Marlena.
“I understand from talking with John and the doctors that your child Rachel is quite sick,” Father Jansen said looking directly at Marlena. Marlena ran her hands along the smooth leather of the conference room chair, not wanting to participate in this conversation.
“Marlena,” John said tenderly as he took hold of her hand and brought it to his lap. Marlena grasped his hand for support, digging her nails into his skin.
“It is both of your wishes to have your children baptized in the Catholic faith?” he asked.
“It is,” John said and Marlena nodded.
“Who have you selected to be the godparents of this child?” John looked to Marlena for some indication of her wishes.
“I haven’t really thought about it,” John replied honestly.
“Marlena, do you have any preference?” John asked her.
Marlena sat numbly at the table clutching and unclenching John’s hand. “Honey?” He asked her as he lowered his head to look into her eyes.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered as tears came to her eyes. “I can’t do this John…please don’t make me do this.”
“Together we’ll get through this…together,” John said as he tightened his grasp on her hand and raised it to his lips and kissed it. Marlena closed her eyes tightly as she started to cry.
John took her into his arms and held her while her small frame shook, and her resolve started to melt.
“Are you sure about this…I can give you more time if that’s what you need,” Father Jansen offered.
“No, we’re sure about this,” John said, looking over Marlenas shoulder at the priest. “Do you want me to make the decision,” he softly asked her.
“Yes,” she whispered, her blond head lying against his shoulder, eyes closed.
“I’d like Roman to be the godfather of both twins…and I was thinking Sami as the godmother.”
“Sami?” Marlena asked in surprise, as she raised her head from his shoulder and looked him in the eyes, confused.
“Yes, she reminds me so much of you at times…she’s stubborn as hell at times but never gives up even when the odds are against her and when everyone tells her she should. I want someone like that on the babies side.”
“Okay,” Marlena said, still stunned that with the history between John and Samantha that he would even consider her. But when she thought about it, she really didn’t have any close female friends that she could ask. There was no way that John would ever agree on Maggie being the children’s godmother and Kate and Hope were out of the question given John’s past relationship with both women.
“Before we proceed, you need to ask both of them…If you’d like I can administer the anointing of the sick to Rachel without her being baptized, but it was my understanding from John that he wanted both children to be baptized first.”
“Let me go get them,” John said as he released Marlena and stood up.
Minute’s later John returned to the room to find Marlena sitting defensively in her chair, arms across her chest. Her resolved softened when she saw John, Roman and Sami.
“Is something wrong mom?” Sami asked as she went to her mom. She had been terrified when she saw Father Jansen enter the waiting room. They knew that Rachel was sick, but dying? In Sami’s mind, that had to be the reason why he was there, why they all were there.
“Roman and Sami, Marlena and I would like for you both to be the godparents of the twins,” John said, upon seeing the concern on Sami’s face.
“Are you serious?” Roman asked. He had hoped that he would be asked, but didn’t know if Marlena would even consider it.
“Roman, my friend, there’s no one else I’d trust those kids with…you were there when they were born and I know that you’ll always be there to look out for them.”
“I’d be honored to be their godfather,” Roman responded, beaming with pride. He looked over at Marlena and saw that she was trying to force a smile as a single tear ran down her face.
“Sami?” John said as he approached her. She was sitting in the chair next to Marlena, looking like she was in shock. John noticed that she was crying.
“Honey,” he said as he rubbed her back. “If you don’t want to, that’s okay.”
“It’s not that,” she said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “I guess I just never expected this.”
“Why not?” John asked, noticing that Marlena was slowly rubbing Sami’s back, trying to provide her daughter with some comfort.
“I guess I never thought that you trusted me as much as Belle or Carrie…Growing up it always seemed that they could never do any wrong,” Sami admitted between her tears. Marlena took Sami into her arms and held her as she cried, releasing all her insecurities and the inferiority she felt growing up.
“Sami, we love and wouldn’t have asked you if we didn’t think that you’d be the best choice,” John said as she rubbed her back. Sami got up from the chair and hugged her stepfather. “Thank you John. You’ll never know how much this means to me,” she said as she wiped her eyes. “You won’t regret this…I’ll be the best Godmother to those babies.”
“It appears that we have two willing godparents…Do you need a few more minutes before the baptism?” Father Jansen asked.
“No, I think we’re ready,” John said as he released Sami from his embrace and walked around the table and took Marlena’s hand.
“Thank you,” she whispered to John. “Thank-you.”
Father Jansen led John, Marlena, Sami and Roman down the hall to the group that had assembled. More family members and close friends had gathered as Carrie and Belle made more calls, feeling that their parents could use the support and prayers. Marlena stood off to the side, wishing that she were invisible. She couldn’t do this, couldn’t grieve, in front of all these people.
“Marlena and I’d like a few minutes alone with the children, if you don’t mind,” John said noticing the distressed look on Marlena’s face. He clutched her hand tightly and slowly pulled her into the NICU.
The quietness of the room and smell of disinfectant permeated Marlena’s nostrils. She had been in this room several times before, but this time it was different. She stood firmly in the doorway, not having the strength to move further. John once again pulled on her hand and let her to an incubator in the corner of the room. She saw the name on the isolet. Noah Black. It was all too real for her. Pictures could lie, pictures could help her deny, but reality couldn’t. This premature child was hers, a part of her and John. Not wanting to look at the baby, hooked up to wires and eyes taped shut; Marlena grabbed his medical chart and started flipping through it. Vitals good, no sign of neurological damage at this time, organs functioning, blood panels good. Marlena put the chart back and turned her back to the isolet. John was to preoccupied intently studying his son, that he failed to notice Marlena’s reaction.
As Marlena walked to the door of the NICU, John caught up with her and grabbed her arm. “You need to see Rachel,” he whispered. “Please.” Marlena nodded, knowing that she didn’t have a choice. John led her to the crib that held her dying daughter. Rachel Black, the tag said. Rachel, she hated the name, associating it with Kristin Blake. Why had John chosen that name? She studied the tag, knowing that the longer she studied it, the longer she could put off having to face the fact that her dying child lay below the name tag. Her dying child that would never grow up to be Rachel Black. What kind of a monster was she? What kind of woman wished that she was never pregnant and that she would miscarry?
She was terrified of looking down at Rachel, afraid that all the memories that she’d successfully managed to put into a box in her mind and store away about DJ and his death would rise to the surface. She couldn’t handle losing another child, she knew as a psychiatrist that her mind was too fragile to handle it. Hell, she’d done enough self-diagnosis on herself to know that she was not well. First her son DJ, now Rachel?
Summoning courage that she didn’t know she still had, Marlena eyes slowly moved from the name card, down to the crib that held her daughter.
“Oh my god,” she muttered as she fell to her knees on the floor, grasping her hands to her chest.
“What have I done,” she cried out, tears streaming down her face. John started crying at Marlena’s reaction. He moved behind her and put his hands on her shoulders and held onto her as she cried. Her shoulders shook as sob after sob released all the pain and feelings of helplessness that she’d been feeling for months. After ten minutes of crying, John helped her up from the floor and stood behind her in front of the crib. He put her arms around her waist and pulled her tight to him.
“That’s our baby Rachel,” he whispered. Marlena felt his tears fall softly onto her hair and felt the trembling of his rib cage and chest as he cried.
As Marlena looked down into the special crib and studied her dying daughter’s form, it was hard for her to see where the baby was from all the machines. The ventilator that was breathing for her obscured much of her tiny face, her head bandaged from the shunt that had been placed in her brain. Down the center and side of her body, Marlena could see the surgical tape that masked the incision of her heart surgery. All sorts of tubes and monitoring equipment were attached to her arms and legs. As Marlena reached down to grasp her daughter’s perfect hand, John pulled her back.
“You can’t touch her Marlena,” John warned her. “The germs.”
“If she’s going to die anyway, then she’s going to die knowing that she was loved by her mother,” Marlena said defiantly as she jerked her hand free from John and gently touched Rachel for the first time.
As Marlena touched Rachel’s tiny hand and stroked her five perfect fingers she looked at Rachel in awe. Against all the odds, Rachel was still here.
“Rae-Rae,” Marlena whispered to her daughter, not wanting to call her Rachel. “I’m your momma, can you hear me? I love you and want you to get better.”
John watched with hope, hope that the woman that he married was back and that his daughter would live.
