Post by Tammy on Aug 17, 2006 11:29:58 GMT -5
Dear Diary,
Well nothing much is happening today…thank god. The boys have no school today and neither do I. After yesterday…I need all the rest I can get. I am so grateful that Johnny was found safe and sound. If something would have happened to him…well I guess there is no need to dwell on what might have happened. Thankfully Mr. Black found him. Speaking of John…I am not at all sure what I am going to do about the promise that he made to Johnny. Should I let this man spend time with my nephews? I mean I don’t know him from a hole in the ground. Well maybe it won’t even be an issue…I’m sure that Johnny has forgotten all about it. Well…I better get dressed. Maybe I will take the boys to the Pub for breakfast. I will write again soon!
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I walk into the Pub and see Bo standing behind the bar. I walk over and furiously slap my hands down on the top of the bar. “Bo…why do woman have to be so damn infuriating?” Bo shakes his head at me with his mouth hanging open. “Umm…is that a trick question… can I use a life line?” I shake my head. Bo always seems to have a smart ass comment for everything. “Bo… I am serious.” Bo nods at me, “I can see that John. But if you want an answer to your question…I’m afraid that you will have to be a bit more specific.” I grunt in frustration. “Arggg…I can sum it all up for you in one word… Marlena!” Bo lets out a huge sigh. “Oh man! What has Mar done to upset you?” I shake my head at him. “Well she didn’t exactly do anything to me. She just ripped me a new asshole yesterday.” Bo looks at me with a shocked expression. “Why did she do that?” I shrug my shoulders at his question. “Your guess is as good as mine!” I run my hands through my hair. Marlena’s attitude yesterday has me so confused I don’t know whether I am coming or going. Bo comes around from behind the bar and leads me over to a booth. “John tell me what happened.” I shake my head. “Bo man…I honestly don’t know. I found your nephew at the cemetery. We were sitting there talking and he really opened up to me. Anyways…I was talking to him about baseball. I told him that if you weren’t doing anything today maybe you could bring him and his brother to the park to play some baseball. Then he told me I had to…Oh I can’t remember what it was called…” Bo interrupted me, “Pinky swear?” I nodded my head. “Yeah that was it…pinky swear…so I did. Anyways Marlena must have heard us talking. So we start to leave and Johnny fell asleep on my back. Then…all of a sudden Marlena tears into me. She said thank you for finding Johnny, and then she tells me not to make promises that I can’t keep. She said that they boys don’t need anyone else in their lives that will disappoint them.” Bo has been nodding his head the whole time I have been talking. I look at him and mock his nodding, “Does your nodding have an explanation to go along with it Bo?” Bo let out a huge sigh. “John…man I don’t know what to say…other than…what you saw last night was CLASSIC Marlena!” I look at him with a shocked expression, “Dear lord…you mean to tell me that she is like that ALL the time!” Bo let out a laugh. “Marlena…well she is complicated to say the very least.” I nod at Bo and let him continue talking. “John what I am about to tell you had better NEVER get back to Marlena. She would never forgive me if she knew that I was talking about her behind her back.” I agree, “You have my word Bo.” Bo relaxes back into his seat. “Hell…I don’t even know where to begin.” I let out a small laugh, “I guess the beginning is a good place to start.” Bo nods in agreement. “Let’s see…. Marlena lives with our father, Frank, Johnny and Christian. She moved in with him about three years ago when he got custody of the boys. She wanted to be there to help out anyway she could…and she has pretty much raised them by herself ever since.” “What about Frank?” Bo shakes his head, “As Frank would say… he does his part by paying the bills. Marlena does EVERYTHING else.” “Well what about Marlena’s mother…she must help her out once in a while…” Bo shakes his head, “Nope! Martha…that is Marlena’s mother…well she doesn’t do anything unless it benefits her in some way. You see Martha is an alcoholic and a compulsive gambler. Their mother daughter relationship is so dysfunctional it isn’t even funny. Marlena has a tendency to see the best in people, especially her mother… no matter what…and every time she has done that…she has gotten burned.” As Bo is talking I begin to see things a bit more clearly. But there is one piece of information still missing. “Bo…I don’t mean to pry but…what about the boys mother?” Bo sighed deeply. “Sam…her name is Sam.” I nod, “Sam…why is Marlena raising the boys, and not Sam?” I can see Bo struggling with this question. After a moment he hesitantly begins to speak. “Sam… well she is…a…drug addict!” I damn near fell over when Bo uttered the words ‘drug addict’. I can see Bo wiping away a tear before he continues. “Sam never gave the boys any kind of…stability. She would drag them from place to place…crack house to crack house. They hardly ever went to school. We all did our best to help her…but…she didn’t think that she needed help. So…she lost her kids.” After he said that a realization hit me. “Now it makes sense!” Bo looks at me with questioning eyes, “What makes sense?” His question brings me out of my thoughts. “Yesterday at the cemetery. Johnny said that…his daddy died because he did…bad things…and that was why Marlena was raising them…because his mommy did…bad things too!” Bo just nodded and didn’t say a word. I am glad he told me all of this. It does make things a bit clearer, but not much. It doesn’t do much to clear up my issue with Marlena. “Bo…I appreciate that you told me all this…and I swear that it won’t go any further. But…I still don’t understand how this all relates to the way Marlena acted toward me yesterday.” “John…you have to understand something about Marlena. She has had a…tough life…to say the very least. Her parent’s marriage was abusive…which most of the time she was caught in the middle of. Her mother never gave her the time of day…unless she needed something from her. Sam… well she was always in some kind of trouble…which Marlena had to clean up. Frank…well he has always been a very distant father in every way. You see…Marlena has always been the adult in her family. She… grew up at a very young age. She has spent her life taking care of everyone else. And when Frank got the boys…well they became Marlena’s life. She has devoted all of her time and energy in the past three years…into making sure that the boys don’t grow up the way she did. She wanted to make sure that those kids had people they could depend on and trust. She has devoted her life into giving the boys everything that she never had growing up. Marlena…well she has a very hard time…trusting others. She has a hard time believing in people, and their motives.” I nod because everything seems so much clearer now. “Well…I can’t really say as though I blame her. It seems as though everyone she loved the most…always let her down.” Bo sits up straight. “Exactly! That is why she snapped at you yesterday. You made a promise to Johnny. You see…Marlena doesn’t believe in making promises…because every time that someone has made one to her…they never kept it. She doesn’t want the boys to grow up being continually disappointed by people.” “Bo…I know that it’s not my place but…if those boys grow up thinking that someone or something won’t disappoint them in their life…they are going to be in for a world of hurt.” Bo nods at me and is about to speak when the front door of the Pub fly’s open…and three of the worlds most beautiful creatures come walking in. Marlena has the most radiant smile on her face, which lights up her eyes. I have seen her many times around town and at the Pub…but in many ways…this is like seeing her for the first time. Marlena’s smile continues to shine…that is until she spotted me sitting at the booth with Bo. The boys came running over to sit with us. Johnny next to me and Christian next to Bo. I tickle Johnny and muss his hair which causes him to laugh, before she speaks. “So uncle Bo…can we go to the ball park today…can we...can we?” Bo laughs, “Whoa…slow down little man.” I had to laugh Johnny was so excited. He turned and looked at me, “Are you still going to teach me how to throw a curve ball?” I mussed his hair again and smiled, “I promised…didn’t I?” Johnny nodded. Of course that had to be the moment that Marlena choose to walk up to the table. She looked over a Bo with a smile, “Good morning big brother.” Bo smiled at her, “Mornin’ Mar.” Then she turned to me, “Mr. Black…I would like to talk to you for a moment.” Wow… she has this bitter woman routine down pat. “Well…good morning to you too Marlena.” She just stared at me, with no expression on her face. I decided that now wasn’t the best time for teasing so I got up out of the booth and followed her. We walked a ways away from the table when she whipped around to face me. “First of all…I want to thank you so much for giving my nephew a nick name. Now…he won’t answer to anything but JJ.” I smiled a bit and I think it just pissed her off more. “Secondly…I thought that we talked about this baseball thing yesterday. I told you not to make…” I cut her off. “Yeah I know…don’t make promises that I can’t keep. But correct me if I’m wrong…I could have sworn that I just told…JJ…that I would play with him. How is that breaking my promise?” She let out a frustrated sigh. “Listen…you may be a friend of Bo’s…but I don’t know you from a hole in the ground…and in all honesty I have no desire to know you!” I stare at her with a straight face, “Do you have heart problems?” She stared at me with a befuddled look marring her delicate features, “Excuse Me?” I did my best not to laugh, “I was just curious…because surely that stick up your ass MUST be poking into your heart by now.” I could tell that she was trying hard not to laugh. But she shook it off and continued talking. “Listen…I am sure you meant well but…” I decided to cut her off. “No you listen! I told that little boy that I would play baseball with him…and I have every intention of doing that. Now…if you don’t let him go…It will be YOU…who is breaking the promise…NOT ME!” I turned and walked away leaving her standing there with a look of total shock on her face.
Well nothing much is happening today…thank god. The boys have no school today and neither do I. After yesterday…I need all the rest I can get. I am so grateful that Johnny was found safe and sound. If something would have happened to him…well I guess there is no need to dwell on what might have happened. Thankfully Mr. Black found him. Speaking of John…I am not at all sure what I am going to do about the promise that he made to Johnny. Should I let this man spend time with my nephews? I mean I don’t know him from a hole in the ground. Well maybe it won’t even be an issue…I’m sure that Johnny has forgotten all about it. Well…I better get dressed. Maybe I will take the boys to the Pub for breakfast. I will write again soon!
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I walk into the Pub and see Bo standing behind the bar. I walk over and furiously slap my hands down on the top of the bar. “Bo…why do woman have to be so damn infuriating?” Bo shakes his head at me with his mouth hanging open. “Umm…is that a trick question… can I use a life line?” I shake my head. Bo always seems to have a smart ass comment for everything. “Bo… I am serious.” Bo nods at me, “I can see that John. But if you want an answer to your question…I’m afraid that you will have to be a bit more specific.” I grunt in frustration. “Arggg…I can sum it all up for you in one word… Marlena!” Bo lets out a huge sigh. “Oh man! What has Mar done to upset you?” I shake my head at him. “Well she didn’t exactly do anything to me. She just ripped me a new asshole yesterday.” Bo looks at me with a shocked expression. “Why did she do that?” I shrug my shoulders at his question. “Your guess is as good as mine!” I run my hands through my hair. Marlena’s attitude yesterday has me so confused I don’t know whether I am coming or going. Bo comes around from behind the bar and leads me over to a booth. “John tell me what happened.” I shake my head. “Bo man…I honestly don’t know. I found your nephew at the cemetery. We were sitting there talking and he really opened up to me. Anyways…I was talking to him about baseball. I told him that if you weren’t doing anything today maybe you could bring him and his brother to the park to play some baseball. Then he told me I had to…Oh I can’t remember what it was called…” Bo interrupted me, “Pinky swear?” I nodded my head. “Yeah that was it…pinky swear…so I did. Anyways Marlena must have heard us talking. So we start to leave and Johnny fell asleep on my back. Then…all of a sudden Marlena tears into me. She said thank you for finding Johnny, and then she tells me not to make promises that I can’t keep. She said that they boys don’t need anyone else in their lives that will disappoint them.” Bo has been nodding his head the whole time I have been talking. I look at him and mock his nodding, “Does your nodding have an explanation to go along with it Bo?” Bo let out a huge sigh. “John…man I don’t know what to say…other than…what you saw last night was CLASSIC Marlena!” I look at him with a shocked expression, “Dear lord…you mean to tell me that she is like that ALL the time!” Bo let out a laugh. “Marlena…well she is complicated to say the very least.” I nod at Bo and let him continue talking. “John what I am about to tell you had better NEVER get back to Marlena. She would never forgive me if she knew that I was talking about her behind her back.” I agree, “You have my word Bo.” Bo relaxes back into his seat. “Hell…I don’t even know where to begin.” I let out a small laugh, “I guess the beginning is a good place to start.” Bo nods in agreement. “Let’s see…. Marlena lives with our father, Frank, Johnny and Christian. She moved in with him about three years ago when he got custody of the boys. She wanted to be there to help out anyway she could…and she has pretty much raised them by herself ever since.” “What about Frank?” Bo shakes his head, “As Frank would say… he does his part by paying the bills. Marlena does EVERYTHING else.” “Well what about Marlena’s mother…she must help her out once in a while…” Bo shakes his head, “Nope! Martha…that is Marlena’s mother…well she doesn’t do anything unless it benefits her in some way. You see Martha is an alcoholic and a compulsive gambler. Their mother daughter relationship is so dysfunctional it isn’t even funny. Marlena has a tendency to see the best in people, especially her mother… no matter what…and every time she has done that…she has gotten burned.” As Bo is talking I begin to see things a bit more clearly. But there is one piece of information still missing. “Bo…I don’t mean to pry but…what about the boys mother?” Bo sighed deeply. “Sam…her name is Sam.” I nod, “Sam…why is Marlena raising the boys, and not Sam?” I can see Bo struggling with this question. After a moment he hesitantly begins to speak. “Sam… well she is…a…drug addict!” I damn near fell over when Bo uttered the words ‘drug addict’. I can see Bo wiping away a tear before he continues. “Sam never gave the boys any kind of…stability. She would drag them from place to place…crack house to crack house. They hardly ever went to school. We all did our best to help her…but…she didn’t think that she needed help. So…she lost her kids.” After he said that a realization hit me. “Now it makes sense!” Bo looks at me with questioning eyes, “What makes sense?” His question brings me out of my thoughts. “Yesterday at the cemetery. Johnny said that…his daddy died because he did…bad things…and that was why Marlena was raising them…because his mommy did…bad things too!” Bo just nodded and didn’t say a word. I am glad he told me all of this. It does make things a bit clearer, but not much. It doesn’t do much to clear up my issue with Marlena. “Bo…I appreciate that you told me all this…and I swear that it won’t go any further. But…I still don’t understand how this all relates to the way Marlena acted toward me yesterday.” “John…you have to understand something about Marlena. She has had a…tough life…to say the very least. Her parent’s marriage was abusive…which most of the time she was caught in the middle of. Her mother never gave her the time of day…unless she needed something from her. Sam… well she was always in some kind of trouble…which Marlena had to clean up. Frank…well he has always been a very distant father in every way. You see…Marlena has always been the adult in her family. She… grew up at a very young age. She has spent her life taking care of everyone else. And when Frank got the boys…well they became Marlena’s life. She has devoted all of her time and energy in the past three years…into making sure that the boys don’t grow up the way she did. She wanted to make sure that those kids had people they could depend on and trust. She has devoted her life into giving the boys everything that she never had growing up. Marlena…well she has a very hard time…trusting others. She has a hard time believing in people, and their motives.” I nod because everything seems so much clearer now. “Well…I can’t really say as though I blame her. It seems as though everyone she loved the most…always let her down.” Bo sits up straight. “Exactly! That is why she snapped at you yesterday. You made a promise to Johnny. You see…Marlena doesn’t believe in making promises…because every time that someone has made one to her…they never kept it. She doesn’t want the boys to grow up being continually disappointed by people.” “Bo…I know that it’s not my place but…if those boys grow up thinking that someone or something won’t disappoint them in their life…they are going to be in for a world of hurt.” Bo nods at me and is about to speak when the front door of the Pub fly’s open…and three of the worlds most beautiful creatures come walking in. Marlena has the most radiant smile on her face, which lights up her eyes. I have seen her many times around town and at the Pub…but in many ways…this is like seeing her for the first time. Marlena’s smile continues to shine…that is until she spotted me sitting at the booth with Bo. The boys came running over to sit with us. Johnny next to me and Christian next to Bo. I tickle Johnny and muss his hair which causes him to laugh, before she speaks. “So uncle Bo…can we go to the ball park today…can we...can we?” Bo laughs, “Whoa…slow down little man.” I had to laugh Johnny was so excited. He turned and looked at me, “Are you still going to teach me how to throw a curve ball?” I mussed his hair again and smiled, “I promised…didn’t I?” Johnny nodded. Of course that had to be the moment that Marlena choose to walk up to the table. She looked over a Bo with a smile, “Good morning big brother.” Bo smiled at her, “Mornin’ Mar.” Then she turned to me, “Mr. Black…I would like to talk to you for a moment.” Wow… she has this bitter woman routine down pat. “Well…good morning to you too Marlena.” She just stared at me, with no expression on her face. I decided that now wasn’t the best time for teasing so I got up out of the booth and followed her. We walked a ways away from the table when she whipped around to face me. “First of all…I want to thank you so much for giving my nephew a nick name. Now…he won’t answer to anything but JJ.” I smiled a bit and I think it just pissed her off more. “Secondly…I thought that we talked about this baseball thing yesterday. I told you not to make…” I cut her off. “Yeah I know…don’t make promises that I can’t keep. But correct me if I’m wrong…I could have sworn that I just told…JJ…that I would play with him. How is that breaking my promise?” She let out a frustrated sigh. “Listen…you may be a friend of Bo’s…but I don’t know you from a hole in the ground…and in all honesty I have no desire to know you!” I stare at her with a straight face, “Do you have heart problems?” She stared at me with a befuddled look marring her delicate features, “Excuse Me?” I did my best not to laugh, “I was just curious…because surely that stick up your ass MUST be poking into your heart by now.” I could tell that she was trying hard not to laugh. But she shook it off and continued talking. “Listen…I am sure you meant well but…” I decided to cut her off. “No you listen! I told that little boy that I would play baseball with him…and I have every intention of doing that. Now…if you don’t let him go…It will be YOU…who is breaking the promise…NOT ME!” I turned and walked away leaving her standing there with a look of total shock on her face.
