Post by Mimi on Aug 31, 2006 21:54:25 GMT -5
2.5 Now His Part Is Over
“If I never met him, I would have dreamed him into being.”
-- Anonymous
“Oh Doc… your amazing baby,” John whispered spooning against the bareness of Marlena’s back. He settled comfortably into the pillows of the couch as he pulled Marlena closer, encircling her tummy, covered in their perspiration, with the palms of both hands.
“Am I?” She asked coyly, stifling her amusement. “I think it’s you that’s amazing.” Marlena told John, dropping her head against him. Her slender arm reached up at an angle, locking John’s neck in the crook of her arm. She lifted her mouth to meet his.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you,” he said after releasing her mouth. “I love it.”
“You…” Marlena replied quietly. “John it’s never been this way with anyone. Not with Don or Roman… I simply can’t help myself when it comes to you.”
“You don’t have to manage yourself with me Doc. I love you regardless.” He said, propping his chin on her shoulder, breathing in the mingled scent of her perfume and sweat. “There’s something else though Doc. What is it?”
“Um… no honey I’m fine.” She said too abruptly.
“Baby, I want you to be sure about me. I’m going to be faithful to us. There is no Kristen or anyone else that can come between us,” he said tightening his grip on her. “You don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
“I won’t.”
“Good. Now tell me what else is bothering you? Is it us? This?” John probed, leaning across her chest to pull her chin towards him. “Talk to me,” he implored.
“I can’t,” she said pulling away. “I can’t right now. I just need to think about this.”
“You have had time to think about this. Weeks have passed. How are things with you and Roman?” John questioned as she slipped away from his grasp. She moved toward the opposite end of the couch. “Doc?”
“What?” She said lifting her eyes to meet his gaze, debating her answer to his question. Knowing John better than anyone else, knowing especially his reaction to what had occurred with Roman.
“Is it Belle?”
“Oh no. She’s beautiful John. She really is.” She said smiling. “Our baby is so beautiful. It’s not Belle… it’s Roman.”
“What about Roman,” John asked moving closer to Marlena.
“He…” she stammered, “He was very angry… and in anger I think he almost struck me.”
John’s face cringed, shifting from worried to angry. “He what?” He said, standing to pace in front of Marlena.
“John calm down.” She pleaded taking John’s discarded turtleneck from the floor in front of her and pulling it over her head. She met him in the center of her office, gripping his forearms in order to cease his movement.
“Baby, did he hurt you? Where was Belle? Where were Carrie and Sami?” John asked touching her face as he softly inspected for bruising.
“Honey, listen to me… I’m not hurt. He didn’t hurt me. We had an altercation of words and I said something about you that triggered his anger. It’s the lost of control John,” she reasoned. “He would never do it otherwise. I know Roman.”
“That’s a coward’s answer Marlena.”
“It’s the only answer I have John,” she said biting down on her lip. The worry that colored John’s face ignited the fountain of tears that she saved for private times—in the shower, or at Belle’s bedside. Marlena lowered her face to shield her tears from John’s view. Doing so was of no consequence; his anger lessening because of Marlena’s quivering emotions. He pulled her into his arms, securing her head against his chest.
“Come here Doc.”
“I’m sorry John,” she cried into his chest. “I didn’t want to do this. I wasn’t going to tell you. I should be able to handle this. I really should.”
“Not tell me,” he said taking her forearms into his grip. “We don’t have secrets from each other. Don’t you realize that by now? You can’t hide anything from me Doc. Nothing.”
“John,” she said attempting to loosen his hold on her arms. “You’re hurting me.”
“Doc, I’m sorry.” He told her as he released her arms. “Come here… sit down.” John led her to the couch where they’d just made love. “You’re sure you want to go home.”
“Where else can I go?” She asked wiping her face with the back of her hand. “Of course I have to go home. It’s not that kind of situation, John. You’re making this more than it is.”
“You should be making a bigger deal about this. You’re a psychiatrist Doc. If you were a patient of Dr. Marlena Evans, what would you tell yourself to do?”
“I can’t look at this objectively John.” She said playing with the sleeves of John’s turtleneck.
“Doc, I would’ve never done this,” he said touching the love marks on her neck. “I don’t want to put you in any danger.”
“I’m not in any danger John. Roman’s not a dangerous man.” She said. “Oh my… I have to get home. I’m late,” she said checking her wrist.
“Wait.”
“John, we have to go.”
John’s shoulders fell, dejectedly. “Not again. I don’t like this… I don’t like you making love to me and running home to him. Playing wife with Roman and our baby. What was this about?”
“I needed you.” She admitted unabashedly.
“Exactly my point.”
Marlena’s hand draping against John’s thigh distracted him, she leaned over and kissed him intently. He pulled away from her touch.
“Don’t… you’re afraid that your going to lose me. You don’t have to do this—prove to yourself that you can keep me. I’m already yours baby.”
Marlena turned away, shielding her face with her hands. “I was jealous. Kristen was here and all I could see was you and Brady with her… making a family.” She confessed. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t.”
“This isn’t the perfect situation John… I know that. I can’t not have you in my life. I have no right to tell you this but…” She paused to look him directly in the eye. “I don’t like sharing you… you told me that once. I feel the same way. I can’t imagine you making love to her the way you make love to me. I don’t want you to kiss her or touch her in that way. I only want you to love me… to make love to me,” she said in a small, clear voice.
John listened carefully, stroking her face lightly with his hand. He swept her bangs from her eyes, pressing his thumb to her lips. The vulnerability in her voice, her face made John grow eager for Marlena’s body. He pulled savagely at the turtleneck hindering her bareness. He pushed her back to the couch, finally yanking the turtleneck from her body.
“I love you so much,” Marlena said with tears running down her face. She kissed him forcefully. Blindly. The weight of his body swiftly increased her arousal. She ran her fingers down his back slowly, stopping at the small of his back where she dug her fingernails into his skin roughly.
“Baby, I need you so much right now,” he said centering himself between her legs.
“Oh g** John.” She moaned eagerly. He was kissing her in every available part of her body. Her skin tingled beneath his wet, warm mouth. She opened her legs to allow John access. He poised himself at her center.
“Doc?” Roman said knocking on her office door. “Are you in there?”
Marlena froze. She looked toward the doorknob. “Is it locked?” She whispered nervously.
John shrugged, lifting himself from the couch and Marlena. She climbed from the couch, on her hands and knees, searching the floor for her clothes.
“Doc?” Roman said trying the doorknob.
“Oh shit,” she said pulling her underwear over her legs quickly. She lifted the jacket that John had ripped from her body. “It’s locked.” She realized relieved, standing to step into her skirt.
“I’m sorry honey.” John said after hearing Roman walk away from the door.
“This was so irresponsible of me.” She said trying to pull her jacket together.
“Don’t blame yourself. Just blame me.”
“No, it’s me. I wanted you here. It’s like at the cabin… I wanted you to come find me. I willed you here again. This is going to destroy Roman.” She said searching the room for order. She fixed the lamp that they’d knocked over in their eagerness. She fixed the pictured that she’d knocked out of place when John rushed them back into the wall. Her body movements were robotic and nervous.
“I can go,” John offered.
“No,” Marlena said anxiously coming to his side. “No. Roman is still around.”
“I mean I can go… take Brady and go. If that would help you then I would do that.” He said sadly, looking out the window. “Then Roman could have his happy family. He could have Belle, the twinners…, and you. Everything. Do you want that?”
Marlena didn’t respond.
“Don’t you know that I’d do anything to make you happy? Even sacrifice my daughter being raised by that son-of-a-bitch husband of yours.”
Marlena stood quietly behind John, placing her hand on his back. He’d put the leather jacket back on. He was looking fierce and handsome in the dimness.
“Is that what you want? Do you want me to leave you alone? Would that make you happy?”
She shook her head slowly.
“You can’t even say it.”
“No,” She spoke up. “No, I don’t want you to leave… me. I want you here. Please don’t threaten me with you leaving. I love you. John I love you.” She said emphatically. “Are you listening to me?”
He stood quietly for a second, moving away from her touch. Her breath heating the nape of his neck affected his senses; he turned on his heel quickly, kissed her roughly and stalked out of the door. She watched him leave; only half waiting for him to return—five minutes later, she hurried home.
“If I never met him, I would have dreamed him into being.”
-- Anonymous
“Oh Doc… your amazing baby,” John whispered spooning against the bareness of Marlena’s back. He settled comfortably into the pillows of the couch as he pulled Marlena closer, encircling her tummy, covered in their perspiration, with the palms of both hands.
“Am I?” She asked coyly, stifling her amusement. “I think it’s you that’s amazing.” Marlena told John, dropping her head against him. Her slender arm reached up at an angle, locking John’s neck in the crook of her arm. She lifted her mouth to meet his.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you,” he said after releasing her mouth. “I love it.”
“You…” Marlena replied quietly. “John it’s never been this way with anyone. Not with Don or Roman… I simply can’t help myself when it comes to you.”
“You don’t have to manage yourself with me Doc. I love you regardless.” He said, propping his chin on her shoulder, breathing in the mingled scent of her perfume and sweat. “There’s something else though Doc. What is it?”
“Um… no honey I’m fine.” She said too abruptly.
“Baby, I want you to be sure about me. I’m going to be faithful to us. There is no Kristen or anyone else that can come between us,” he said tightening his grip on her. “You don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
“I won’t.”
“Good. Now tell me what else is bothering you? Is it us? This?” John probed, leaning across her chest to pull her chin towards him. “Talk to me,” he implored.
“I can’t,” she said pulling away. “I can’t right now. I just need to think about this.”
“You have had time to think about this. Weeks have passed. How are things with you and Roman?” John questioned as she slipped away from his grasp. She moved toward the opposite end of the couch. “Doc?”
“What?” She said lifting her eyes to meet his gaze, debating her answer to his question. Knowing John better than anyone else, knowing especially his reaction to what had occurred with Roman.
“Is it Belle?”
“Oh no. She’s beautiful John. She really is.” She said smiling. “Our baby is so beautiful. It’s not Belle… it’s Roman.”
“What about Roman,” John asked moving closer to Marlena.
“He…” she stammered, “He was very angry… and in anger I think he almost struck me.”
John’s face cringed, shifting from worried to angry. “He what?” He said, standing to pace in front of Marlena.
“John calm down.” She pleaded taking John’s discarded turtleneck from the floor in front of her and pulling it over her head. She met him in the center of her office, gripping his forearms in order to cease his movement.
“Baby, did he hurt you? Where was Belle? Where were Carrie and Sami?” John asked touching her face as he softly inspected for bruising.
“Honey, listen to me… I’m not hurt. He didn’t hurt me. We had an altercation of words and I said something about you that triggered his anger. It’s the lost of control John,” she reasoned. “He would never do it otherwise. I know Roman.”
“That’s a coward’s answer Marlena.”
“It’s the only answer I have John,” she said biting down on her lip. The worry that colored John’s face ignited the fountain of tears that she saved for private times—in the shower, or at Belle’s bedside. Marlena lowered her face to shield her tears from John’s view. Doing so was of no consequence; his anger lessening because of Marlena’s quivering emotions. He pulled her into his arms, securing her head against his chest.
“Come here Doc.”
“I’m sorry John,” she cried into his chest. “I didn’t want to do this. I wasn’t going to tell you. I should be able to handle this. I really should.”
“Not tell me,” he said taking her forearms into his grip. “We don’t have secrets from each other. Don’t you realize that by now? You can’t hide anything from me Doc. Nothing.”
“John,” she said attempting to loosen his hold on her arms. “You’re hurting me.”
“Doc, I’m sorry.” He told her as he released her arms. “Come here… sit down.” John led her to the couch where they’d just made love. “You’re sure you want to go home.”
“Where else can I go?” She asked wiping her face with the back of her hand. “Of course I have to go home. It’s not that kind of situation, John. You’re making this more than it is.”
“You should be making a bigger deal about this. You’re a psychiatrist Doc. If you were a patient of Dr. Marlena Evans, what would you tell yourself to do?”
“I can’t look at this objectively John.” She said playing with the sleeves of John’s turtleneck.
“Doc, I would’ve never done this,” he said touching the love marks on her neck. “I don’t want to put you in any danger.”
“I’m not in any danger John. Roman’s not a dangerous man.” She said. “Oh my… I have to get home. I’m late,” she said checking her wrist.
“Wait.”
“John, we have to go.”
John’s shoulders fell, dejectedly. “Not again. I don’t like this… I don’t like you making love to me and running home to him. Playing wife with Roman and our baby. What was this about?”
“I needed you.” She admitted unabashedly.
“Exactly my point.”
Marlena’s hand draping against John’s thigh distracted him, she leaned over and kissed him intently. He pulled away from her touch.
“Don’t… you’re afraid that your going to lose me. You don’t have to do this—prove to yourself that you can keep me. I’m already yours baby.”
Marlena turned away, shielding her face with her hands. “I was jealous. Kristen was here and all I could see was you and Brady with her… making a family.” She confessed. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t.”
“This isn’t the perfect situation John… I know that. I can’t not have you in my life. I have no right to tell you this but…” She paused to look him directly in the eye. “I don’t like sharing you… you told me that once. I feel the same way. I can’t imagine you making love to her the way you make love to me. I don’t want you to kiss her or touch her in that way. I only want you to love me… to make love to me,” she said in a small, clear voice.
John listened carefully, stroking her face lightly with his hand. He swept her bangs from her eyes, pressing his thumb to her lips. The vulnerability in her voice, her face made John grow eager for Marlena’s body. He pulled savagely at the turtleneck hindering her bareness. He pushed her back to the couch, finally yanking the turtleneck from her body.
“I love you so much,” Marlena said with tears running down her face. She kissed him forcefully. Blindly. The weight of his body swiftly increased her arousal. She ran her fingers down his back slowly, stopping at the small of his back where she dug her fingernails into his skin roughly.
“Baby, I need you so much right now,” he said centering himself between her legs.
“Oh g** John.” She moaned eagerly. He was kissing her in every available part of her body. Her skin tingled beneath his wet, warm mouth. She opened her legs to allow John access. He poised himself at her center.
“Doc?” Roman said knocking on her office door. “Are you in there?”
Marlena froze. She looked toward the doorknob. “Is it locked?” She whispered nervously.
John shrugged, lifting himself from the couch and Marlena. She climbed from the couch, on her hands and knees, searching the floor for her clothes.
“Doc?” Roman said trying the doorknob.
“Oh shit,” she said pulling her underwear over her legs quickly. She lifted the jacket that John had ripped from her body. “It’s locked.” She realized relieved, standing to step into her skirt.
“I’m sorry honey.” John said after hearing Roman walk away from the door.
“This was so irresponsible of me.” She said trying to pull her jacket together.
“Don’t blame yourself. Just blame me.”
“No, it’s me. I wanted you here. It’s like at the cabin… I wanted you to come find me. I willed you here again. This is going to destroy Roman.” She said searching the room for order. She fixed the lamp that they’d knocked over in their eagerness. She fixed the pictured that she’d knocked out of place when John rushed them back into the wall. Her body movements were robotic and nervous.
“I can go,” John offered.
“No,” Marlena said anxiously coming to his side. “No. Roman is still around.”
“I mean I can go… take Brady and go. If that would help you then I would do that.” He said sadly, looking out the window. “Then Roman could have his happy family. He could have Belle, the twinners…, and you. Everything. Do you want that?”
Marlena didn’t respond.
“Don’t you know that I’d do anything to make you happy? Even sacrifice my daughter being raised by that son-of-a-bitch husband of yours.”
Marlena stood quietly behind John, placing her hand on his back. He’d put the leather jacket back on. He was looking fierce and handsome in the dimness.
“Is that what you want? Do you want me to leave you alone? Would that make you happy?”
She shook her head slowly.
“You can’t even say it.”
“No,” She spoke up. “No, I don’t want you to leave… me. I want you here. Please don’t threaten me with you leaving. I love you. John I love you.” She said emphatically. “Are you listening to me?”
He stood quietly for a second, moving away from her touch. Her breath heating the nape of his neck affected his senses; he turned on his heel quickly, kissed her roughly and stalked out of the door. She watched him leave; only half waiting for him to return—five minutes later, she hurried home.
