Post by Mimi on Aug 31, 2006 22:06:45 GMT -5
2.9 I Know You Have A Lot Of Strength Left
“Life isn’t about finding yourself.
Life is about creating yourself.”
-- George Bernard Shaw
“Salem is not at all as I imagined it to be,” Mira LeMoyne purred in her luxuriously southern accent. “I’m intrigued.”
“Intrigued,” Roman repeated, “How so?”
“It is nothing like it seems. Small towns seem to envelope the citizens and force an identity of the environs—it is not so in Salem. I’ve wondered what place my son could have grown in after his disappearance. If it was as rich and magical as Louisiana is, I guess I’m intrigued by the fact that John could have been away from me in this small town, living without me. My life stopped after his disappearance.” Mira said mournfully. Her piercing eyes haunting Roman as they sat in the suite of her hotel. Mira exuded old southern charm dressed in a willowy white dress, seemingly unaware of the chilling temperatures beyond her window; silver rings layered the thinness of her fingers; her dark curls were pulled back into a semi-knot in the center of her head. “I had Amelia. Thank God for that little girl.”
Her name impaled Roman; the image of her running through the fields of the LeMoyne mansion railroaded his concentration.
“Amelia… she’s a problem,” Mira inquired after reading the conflict in Roman’s sudden change of disposition. “Her presence is not a happy addition to your life.”
She was doc’s child, he reminded himself before answering. A willful voice added that she was also John’s child. “I don’t know what she means to my life. She is my wife’s little girl.”
“She’d counter that claim,” Mira said mysteriously.
Piqued, Roman looked to Mira asking, “Why? She’s not aware of her mother is she?”
“I meant that she would say that she is more adult than child.” Mira smiled envisioning her granddaughter. “She is an extraordinary child Roman.”
“With you as her guardian, I’m sure that she is. How has she been with you staying here in Salem so long?”
“Fine,” Mira said, a knowing smile creasing her mouth. “She’s doing well with Raysa. We talk daily. She understands what I’m doing is absolutely necessary to her well-being. I haven’t told her why I’m in Salem.”
“You don’t know how to tell her,” Roman wondered aloud.
“Exactly. In due time, I won’t worry about this now. I’m more worried about John. How does he seem to you?” She asked, fingering her neck.
“He seems like John. Have you seen him?”
“I have had a background check run on him; I’ve also hired a private detective to follow him.”
“Do you think that’s wise Mira? John’s a trained police officer.”
“I understand but Roman I’ve just gotten him back in my life. I don’t want to lose him again.”
“You won’t,” Roman assured Mira, realizing how late he would be for his meeting with Marlena, “I have to go. I’ll come back as soon as it’s possible.”
“Please do… I’m going to meet with my son very soon Roman. I am tiring of this waiting game. I just want to hold him again… and tell him that his Mama loves him.”
“In due time,” Roman said squeezing Mira’s hand. “I’ll call you later.”
“Goodbye. Take care of Samantha… Marlena.” She told him winking her eye. “I’ll see you darling.”
~~~~~~~
“I’m late… I know I know Doc,” Roman said rushing into the front door of their home. Marlena held up a finger, pointing to Belle lying asleep on her chest.
“She finally went down,” she told Roman as she carefully maneuvered herself from the couch without disturbing Belle. “I’ll put her upstairs. There’s supper in the kitchen if you’re hungry.”
Roman made his way through the tunnel of Belle’s toys. Clearing a space on the couch where he sat and took his shoes off. He closed his eyes for a brief second. Waiting for the familiarity of his surroundings to hit him; the scent of their house, of Doc’s perfume, of Belle’s sweet talcum powered skin; familiar things that didn’t make him seem a foreigner in the land.
“Comfortable?” Marlena asked coming back downstairs. “I can fix you some supper if you would like me to.”
“No, I grabbed something at the station earlier.”
“Oh,” she said sitting down beside Roman.
“How are you? How was your day?” He questioned, leaning across the pillows to kiss her lips.
“Fine. Everything’s well with my practice,” she said running her finger along her jeans slowly. “I’m sure you’re curious as to what I’d like to discuss.” She had spent hours in the mirror after visiting John. Trying to make the empty, wanton look disappear from her eyes; priming and primping, preparing herself to face Roman with what she needed to say. The impact of her confrontation with John cemented what she knew all along: she needed time away from the situation. Getting away from Salem, away from John and Roman would give her a sense of renewal and clear her mind. She’d decided in that mirror to call her husband to ask if they could talk. Her request seemed mysterious to Roman, she knew.
“Doc, what’s wrong?”
“Roman, I need you to listen to me,” she began as measured and unsuspecting as she could. “I’ve made a decision about us… about myself really.”
“Okay,” Roman said never taking his eyes off her face.
“I think I want to go visit my parents and Eric.”
“Oh that’s no problem, Doc. We can make it a family vacation for the holiday, I mean if you’re talking about soon.”
“I am talking about soon. Possibly as soon as tomorrow.”
“That’s kind of soon Doc.”
“It is soon, but I don’t expect you to pick up and go with me.” She told him watching him studying her mouth. “In fact, I want to go alone… with Belle.”
“Alone? What, for the holiday?”
“Roman, I don’t really know how long I’ll be gone for,” she said trying to edit herself. “I need some time to think. I’m not sure if you realize this but we’re not living a life together anymore. We pass in the night and say hello in the day. I’m not happy… we’re not happy.”
“Doc, what are you saying?”
“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I need time alone. I need time with just me and my thoughts.”
“A divorce,” Roman queried with his attitude in check. He didn’t want ever to get as angry as he had when he’d almost struck her. “Is that what you’re trying not to say?”
“No, not at all. I’m saying I want some time away from you. From Salem.”
“Doc?”
“I’m sorry if this hurts you.”
“I’m not thinking solely of myself here Doc. What about our children? You’re going to take Belle to Colorado for her first Christmas without her siblings or her father. It just seems kind of extreme.”
“I don’t expect to be gone that long Roman.”
“You just told me you didn’t know how long you’d be gone didn’t you?”
“Well yes but… I don’t know. I hope to be back before too long. I don’t want to uproot Sami for the holiday. She loves spending time with you and her Brady relatives. I think she’ll be fine here.”
“Without her mother and baby sister?”
“Roman, I didn’t want to make this an argument.”
“Do I have any other choice? You’re sure you don’t want me to come with you?”
“I’m certain. We’ll be fine. It’s not forever,” she said tracing the outline of Roman’s face. “I hope when I return that I can become a better wife for you. You deserve that you know.”
“You’re the best there is Doc.”
“Thank you, but I’m really not. I don’t even know myself anymore.”
“You’re my wife. All you ever need to know is how much I love you. I’ll go along with this as long as you realize that I’m not giving up on you.”
“I hope that you don’t.”
“Good,” he said pressing his lips against her cheek. “I love you.”
“Life isn’t about finding yourself.
Life is about creating yourself.”
-- George Bernard Shaw
“Salem is not at all as I imagined it to be,” Mira LeMoyne purred in her luxuriously southern accent. “I’m intrigued.”
“Intrigued,” Roman repeated, “How so?”
“It is nothing like it seems. Small towns seem to envelope the citizens and force an identity of the environs—it is not so in Salem. I’ve wondered what place my son could have grown in after his disappearance. If it was as rich and magical as Louisiana is, I guess I’m intrigued by the fact that John could have been away from me in this small town, living without me. My life stopped after his disappearance.” Mira said mournfully. Her piercing eyes haunting Roman as they sat in the suite of her hotel. Mira exuded old southern charm dressed in a willowy white dress, seemingly unaware of the chilling temperatures beyond her window; silver rings layered the thinness of her fingers; her dark curls were pulled back into a semi-knot in the center of her head. “I had Amelia. Thank God for that little girl.”
Her name impaled Roman; the image of her running through the fields of the LeMoyne mansion railroaded his concentration.
“Amelia… she’s a problem,” Mira inquired after reading the conflict in Roman’s sudden change of disposition. “Her presence is not a happy addition to your life.”
She was doc’s child, he reminded himself before answering. A willful voice added that she was also John’s child. “I don’t know what she means to my life. She is my wife’s little girl.”
“She’d counter that claim,” Mira said mysteriously.
Piqued, Roman looked to Mira asking, “Why? She’s not aware of her mother is she?”
“I meant that she would say that she is more adult than child.” Mira smiled envisioning her granddaughter. “She is an extraordinary child Roman.”
“With you as her guardian, I’m sure that she is. How has she been with you staying here in Salem so long?”
“Fine,” Mira said, a knowing smile creasing her mouth. “She’s doing well with Raysa. We talk daily. She understands what I’m doing is absolutely necessary to her well-being. I haven’t told her why I’m in Salem.”
“You don’t know how to tell her,” Roman wondered aloud.
“Exactly. In due time, I won’t worry about this now. I’m more worried about John. How does he seem to you?” She asked, fingering her neck.
“He seems like John. Have you seen him?”
“I have had a background check run on him; I’ve also hired a private detective to follow him.”
“Do you think that’s wise Mira? John’s a trained police officer.”
“I understand but Roman I’ve just gotten him back in my life. I don’t want to lose him again.”
“You won’t,” Roman assured Mira, realizing how late he would be for his meeting with Marlena, “I have to go. I’ll come back as soon as it’s possible.”
“Please do… I’m going to meet with my son very soon Roman. I am tiring of this waiting game. I just want to hold him again… and tell him that his Mama loves him.”
“In due time,” Roman said squeezing Mira’s hand. “I’ll call you later.”
“Goodbye. Take care of Samantha… Marlena.” She told him winking her eye. “I’ll see you darling.”
~~~~~~~
“I’m late… I know I know Doc,” Roman said rushing into the front door of their home. Marlena held up a finger, pointing to Belle lying asleep on her chest.
“She finally went down,” she told Roman as she carefully maneuvered herself from the couch without disturbing Belle. “I’ll put her upstairs. There’s supper in the kitchen if you’re hungry.”
Roman made his way through the tunnel of Belle’s toys. Clearing a space on the couch where he sat and took his shoes off. He closed his eyes for a brief second. Waiting for the familiarity of his surroundings to hit him; the scent of their house, of Doc’s perfume, of Belle’s sweet talcum powered skin; familiar things that didn’t make him seem a foreigner in the land.
“Comfortable?” Marlena asked coming back downstairs. “I can fix you some supper if you would like me to.”
“No, I grabbed something at the station earlier.”
“Oh,” she said sitting down beside Roman.
“How are you? How was your day?” He questioned, leaning across the pillows to kiss her lips.
“Fine. Everything’s well with my practice,” she said running her finger along her jeans slowly. “I’m sure you’re curious as to what I’d like to discuss.” She had spent hours in the mirror after visiting John. Trying to make the empty, wanton look disappear from her eyes; priming and primping, preparing herself to face Roman with what she needed to say. The impact of her confrontation with John cemented what she knew all along: she needed time away from the situation. Getting away from Salem, away from John and Roman would give her a sense of renewal and clear her mind. She’d decided in that mirror to call her husband to ask if they could talk. Her request seemed mysterious to Roman, she knew.
“Doc, what’s wrong?”
“Roman, I need you to listen to me,” she began as measured and unsuspecting as she could. “I’ve made a decision about us… about myself really.”
“Okay,” Roman said never taking his eyes off her face.
“I think I want to go visit my parents and Eric.”
“Oh that’s no problem, Doc. We can make it a family vacation for the holiday, I mean if you’re talking about soon.”
“I am talking about soon. Possibly as soon as tomorrow.”
“That’s kind of soon Doc.”
“It is soon, but I don’t expect you to pick up and go with me.” She told him watching him studying her mouth. “In fact, I want to go alone… with Belle.”
“Alone? What, for the holiday?”
“Roman, I don’t really know how long I’ll be gone for,” she said trying to edit herself. “I need some time to think. I’m not sure if you realize this but we’re not living a life together anymore. We pass in the night and say hello in the day. I’m not happy… we’re not happy.”
“Doc, what are you saying?”
“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I need time alone. I need time with just me and my thoughts.”
“A divorce,” Roman queried with his attitude in check. He didn’t want ever to get as angry as he had when he’d almost struck her. “Is that what you’re trying not to say?”
“No, not at all. I’m saying I want some time away from you. From Salem.”
“Doc?”
“I’m sorry if this hurts you.”
“I’m not thinking solely of myself here Doc. What about our children? You’re going to take Belle to Colorado for her first Christmas without her siblings or her father. It just seems kind of extreme.”
“I don’t expect to be gone that long Roman.”
“You just told me you didn’t know how long you’d be gone didn’t you?”
“Well yes but… I don’t know. I hope to be back before too long. I don’t want to uproot Sami for the holiday. She loves spending time with you and her Brady relatives. I think she’ll be fine here.”
“Without her mother and baby sister?”
“Roman, I didn’t want to make this an argument.”
“Do I have any other choice? You’re sure you don’t want me to come with you?”
“I’m certain. We’ll be fine. It’s not forever,” she said tracing the outline of Roman’s face. “I hope when I return that I can become a better wife for you. You deserve that you know.”
“You’re the best there is Doc.”
“Thank you, but I’m really not. I don’t even know myself anymore.”
“You’re my wife. All you ever need to know is how much I love you. I’ll go along with this as long as you realize that I’m not giving up on you.”
“I hope that you don’t.”
“Good,” he said pressing his lips against her cheek. “I love you.”
