Post by Mimi on Aug 31, 2006 22:08:11 GMT -5
3.0 I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)
I have hope, now that I don’t have you
I have faith, now that I’m alone
I’m not bashing my head against the wall
I’m not waiting forever for your call
I’m not wasting time
Now that I don’t have you
Maybe someday I’ll love as others do
And fall for someone who’s half as cruel
Now that I don’t have you
I have dreams, now that you’re not lying
Next to me
I can sleep, I can rest in peace
I’m not burning up like I’m in hell
I can sleep
Now that I don’t have you
Maybe someday I’ll love as others do
And wake up one morning to skies of blue
But I won’t be with you
Now that I don’t have you
Maybe someday I’ll love as others do
And fall for someone who’s sad but true
Now that I don’t have you
-- Jill Sobule
Now That I Don’t Have You
It had happened; something awful had finally happened to them, and they could never be the same. One week. Seven whole days of silence and brooding had passed into time without lessening any of the pain in John’s spirit. He awoke each morning, arrested by unencumbered emotions. Haunted by the image of Marlena’s crestfallen face, a mask of marked disappointment darkened her usual shine. She’d turned so swiftly on her heel, scurrying from the loft, in tears—he was certain of her tears. He stubbornly resisted an innate sense to follow and ask for forgiveness. She’d gone too far; she’d asked too much. The self-imposed exile that she’d chosen to instigate infuriated him further. The final straw had been Laura’s phone call—asking John to have a blood test to confirm or deny Marlena’s suspicions. He decided to do the only logical thing available: contact a lawyer. If Marlena’s indecision persisted, he would never have a relationship with his daughter. John couldn’t live with that idea. He refused to. Roman could have Marlena; he could not have his daughter.
Avery Chase walked with a confidence that John recognized and appreciated. Young and intelligent, she was also a beautiful woman with blonde hair and hazel eyes with a remarkable resemblance to Marlena. John followed her easy stride from the door of Bella’s—a quiet, private café—chosen by Avery. After an initial meeting, Avery suggested an informal lunch to go over the perimeters of John’s case. Conservatively dressed in a sedate black pants suit, she slipped across the table from John, placing a file on the table.
“What’s this?” John asked lifting the manila folder.
“Your case file. The child in question… Isabella Brady and mother have already been tested. Those are the results.” Avery said, her voice lilted with southern dialect.
“The child in question—my child—is called Belle.”
“Sorry,” she said waving her hand girlishly in front of her face. “Belle. It’s a beautiful name. If you want my opinion…”
“I pay for your opinion.” John reminded her.
“Yes you do… and in my opinion, you should concede to giving a sample of your DNA. You’re certain that Belle is your child?”
“I am,” he said cocking his eyebrow. “There is no doubt in my mind Ms. Chase.”
“Um… I think we’re in a little less formal atmosphere for the Ms. Chase. Call me Avery.” She told John opening the menu in front of her, “Would you like me to order for you? I eat here all the time?”
“Avery, I trust your opinion. Sure.” John said reading over the file. “We’ve discussed the issue at hand.”
“Yes… Belle’s paternity.”
“Well there’s more to this than only her paternity. This is an awkward situation. As I’ve explained to you on our first meeting, Belle is the result of a premarital relationship between her mother and me.”
“And the mother is still married?”
“Yes. Her husband believes that Belle is his child; everyone believes Belle is his child.”
“Well legally Belle is the child of the mother’s husband. The law presumes that a wife’s children are the result of the marriage.”
“So I have no legal right to my child—if her mother were to attempt to keep her from me,” he said, cringing at the very taste of those words in his mouth. “This is where you come in Chase.”
“No,” she said waving her slender finger. “This is where you come in. You have to prove that you are the legal father of Isabella… that’s where you’re case is the strongest. And if you are as you say…”
“I am,” he said.
“Well then we have to prove it. Would you like me to set up an appointment for a test with one of the firms we use?”
“No, the doctor Marlena chose is fine with me. I don’t want this to get out. It’s an embarrassing situation for her.”
Avery moved forward in her chair, crossing her legs seductively in John’s view. “You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?”
John matched her move, leaning discreetly across the table. “I don’t see what one thing has to do with the other.”
“She must have burned you badly,” Avery reasoned, laughing lightly. “You’re a man in love, John.”
“I’m a man who needs to secure his right to his daughter. Love, in terms of romantic love has nothing to do with this. I love my daughter. I’m not going to discuss my relationship with her mother.”
“Okay, your choice,” Avery said propping her chin on her upturned palm. “So, we proceed with the test?”
“Yes. And when the results come in, will she receive them?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” John said beguiled by Avery’s charm. The soft way she pronounced words with a Scarlet O’Hara type naiveté. Soft waves of blonde hair moved with a tilt of her head. He smiled while she ordered lunch.
“Why are you watching me so?” Avery asked after the waiter’s departure.
“You’re accent. I’ve always been fascinated by women with Southern accents… I’m not sure why.”
“It’s a Southern woman’s weapon of choice. We can do so many things with one simple tilt of our tongue. My mama taught me that.”
“Good to know… are you using this as a weapon against me?” he said playfully.
“No, I’m simply being myself with you. You’re a very charming man yourself.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m sure we’ll have more than a few charming moments.”
“Will we?”
“Yes we will,” Avery added assertively. “More than a few.”
After a charming, flirtatious lunch, John walked Avery to her car. She crooked her arm through John’s and walked at a slow, steady pace. Her perfume reminded John of Marlena, everything about Avery was a reminder of Marlena. She kissed him on his cheek and climbed into her convertible.
“I’ll call you with the details for your appointment.”
“Thank you.” He closed her door and watched her pull away. For the first time in a long while, he actually felt relieved. Smiling to himself, he walked back to his jeep, heading home.
I have hope, now that I don’t have you
I have faith, now that I’m alone
I’m not bashing my head against the wall
I’m not waiting forever for your call
I’m not wasting time
Now that I don’t have you
Maybe someday I’ll love as others do
And fall for someone who’s half as cruel
Now that I don’t have you
I have dreams, now that you’re not lying
Next to me
I can sleep, I can rest in peace
I’m not burning up like I’m in hell
I can sleep
Now that I don’t have you
Maybe someday I’ll love as others do
And wake up one morning to skies of blue
But I won’t be with you
Now that I don’t have you
Maybe someday I’ll love as others do
And fall for someone who’s sad but true
Now that I don’t have you
-- Jill Sobule
Now That I Don’t Have You
It had happened; something awful had finally happened to them, and they could never be the same. One week. Seven whole days of silence and brooding had passed into time without lessening any of the pain in John’s spirit. He awoke each morning, arrested by unencumbered emotions. Haunted by the image of Marlena’s crestfallen face, a mask of marked disappointment darkened her usual shine. She’d turned so swiftly on her heel, scurrying from the loft, in tears—he was certain of her tears. He stubbornly resisted an innate sense to follow and ask for forgiveness. She’d gone too far; she’d asked too much. The self-imposed exile that she’d chosen to instigate infuriated him further. The final straw had been Laura’s phone call—asking John to have a blood test to confirm or deny Marlena’s suspicions. He decided to do the only logical thing available: contact a lawyer. If Marlena’s indecision persisted, he would never have a relationship with his daughter. John couldn’t live with that idea. He refused to. Roman could have Marlena; he could not have his daughter.
Avery Chase walked with a confidence that John recognized and appreciated. Young and intelligent, she was also a beautiful woman with blonde hair and hazel eyes with a remarkable resemblance to Marlena. John followed her easy stride from the door of Bella’s—a quiet, private café—chosen by Avery. After an initial meeting, Avery suggested an informal lunch to go over the perimeters of John’s case. Conservatively dressed in a sedate black pants suit, she slipped across the table from John, placing a file on the table.
“What’s this?” John asked lifting the manila folder.
“Your case file. The child in question… Isabella Brady and mother have already been tested. Those are the results.” Avery said, her voice lilted with southern dialect.
“The child in question—my child—is called Belle.”
“Sorry,” she said waving her hand girlishly in front of her face. “Belle. It’s a beautiful name. If you want my opinion…”
“I pay for your opinion.” John reminded her.
“Yes you do… and in my opinion, you should concede to giving a sample of your DNA. You’re certain that Belle is your child?”
“I am,” he said cocking his eyebrow. “There is no doubt in my mind Ms. Chase.”
“Um… I think we’re in a little less formal atmosphere for the Ms. Chase. Call me Avery.” She told John opening the menu in front of her, “Would you like me to order for you? I eat here all the time?”
“Avery, I trust your opinion. Sure.” John said reading over the file. “We’ve discussed the issue at hand.”
“Yes… Belle’s paternity.”
“Well there’s more to this than only her paternity. This is an awkward situation. As I’ve explained to you on our first meeting, Belle is the result of a premarital relationship between her mother and me.”
“And the mother is still married?”
“Yes. Her husband believes that Belle is his child; everyone believes Belle is his child.”
“Well legally Belle is the child of the mother’s husband. The law presumes that a wife’s children are the result of the marriage.”
“So I have no legal right to my child—if her mother were to attempt to keep her from me,” he said, cringing at the very taste of those words in his mouth. “This is where you come in Chase.”
“No,” she said waving her slender finger. “This is where you come in. You have to prove that you are the legal father of Isabella… that’s where you’re case is the strongest. And if you are as you say…”
“I am,” he said.
“Well then we have to prove it. Would you like me to set up an appointment for a test with one of the firms we use?”
“No, the doctor Marlena chose is fine with me. I don’t want this to get out. It’s an embarrassing situation for her.”
Avery moved forward in her chair, crossing her legs seductively in John’s view. “You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?”
John matched her move, leaning discreetly across the table. “I don’t see what one thing has to do with the other.”
“She must have burned you badly,” Avery reasoned, laughing lightly. “You’re a man in love, John.”
“I’m a man who needs to secure his right to his daughter. Love, in terms of romantic love has nothing to do with this. I love my daughter. I’m not going to discuss my relationship with her mother.”
“Okay, your choice,” Avery said propping her chin on her upturned palm. “So, we proceed with the test?”
“Yes. And when the results come in, will she receive them?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” John said beguiled by Avery’s charm. The soft way she pronounced words with a Scarlet O’Hara type naiveté. Soft waves of blonde hair moved with a tilt of her head. He smiled while she ordered lunch.
“Why are you watching me so?” Avery asked after the waiter’s departure.
“You’re accent. I’ve always been fascinated by women with Southern accents… I’m not sure why.”
“It’s a Southern woman’s weapon of choice. We can do so many things with one simple tilt of our tongue. My mama taught me that.”
“Good to know… are you using this as a weapon against me?” he said playfully.
“No, I’m simply being myself with you. You’re a very charming man yourself.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m sure we’ll have more than a few charming moments.”
“Will we?”
“Yes we will,” Avery added assertively. “More than a few.”
After a charming, flirtatious lunch, John walked Avery to her car. She crooked her arm through John’s and walked at a slow, steady pace. Her perfume reminded John of Marlena, everything about Avery was a reminder of Marlena. She kissed him on his cheek and climbed into her convertible.
“I’ll call you with the details for your appointment.”
“Thank you.” He closed her door and watched her pull away. For the first time in a long while, he actually felt relieved. Smiling to himself, he walked back to his jeep, heading home.
