Post by Mimi on Sept 17, 2006 22:12:24 GMT -5
3.3 Some Nights You’re Breathing Fire, And Some Nights You’re Carved In Ice
“If love hurts, then love some more,
If love hurts some more, then love even more,
If love hurts even more…
Then love til it hurts no more…
Love.”
--Gina Jalbuena
It’s impossible to move forward without first moving backwards.
Breath by breath.
Falling without wings, she drove to John’s loft in a meditative silence; what could she do beyond telling John the truth? This baby—their baby--would change everything between them. She couldn’t keep it from him, not the way she’d tried to do while she was pregnant with Belle. There would be no test for proof; John Black was the father of Isabella and the baby growing inside her.
She understood that her three weeks of self-imposed exile had left a wide door open for John’s interpretation of her actions. She still wanted to see John to discuss the results of Belle’s paternity test. There was no way to avoid it any longer.
Having settled Belle and Eric with Shawn and Caroline, she’d learned that John had been spending time with one Avery Chase. Lawyer; blonde; beautiful; and, present, according to Caroline. Internalizing the information, she decided that this discussion could not wait.
Her heart pounded against her chest as she pulled up to the building. On her last visit, she’d been emotionally raked over the coals. Deserved or not, she wasn’t anxious to revisit that feeling.
Breath by breath.
She swallowed a pocket of stale air, releasing the breath slowly from her mouth.
“You can do this,” she prepped herself. Climbing from the car slowly, her legs felt weighted. She dragged herself into the building, entering the elevator. She’d never been so anxious about seeing John. The ten steps from the elevator to the door felt eerily like the death walk. Deliberately slow steps. Pausing at the door of his loft, she took another breath before knocking.
Marlena could hear John’s footfalls across the wooden floor. He was moving quickly. Had he been waiting for her or someone else? She braced herself for a reaction adverse of the usual pleasantness between them. The slow, tedious sliding of the door quickened her senses as John came into view. He hadn’t changed. She hadn’t expected that he would. Still the most beautiful man she’d ever known. Still those mesmerizing eyes, she followed their path from the top of her head down the span of her heaving chest down slender legs to her narrow feet. She couldn’t speak, not intelligently. He was dressed in all black: a body hugging t-shirt and jeans with shiny boots padding his feet. She loved him in all black.
“Can I come in?” She asked after too long of a silence.
“Sure,” he said moving from the doorway. “Come in.” John watched her anxious movements, aware of how nervous he was himself. He offered her a seat while he stood with arms folded across his chest at a distance.
Marlena sat down on the couch closely drawing her knees together in front of her. “I came here directly from the airport,” she began softly as she attempted to find her voice again, to find a thought that made sense. “We need to discuss some things John.”
“I agree,” he said unfolding his arms, loosening the stiffness from his body. “How is Belle?”
Marlena explained smiling, “she’s been wonderful…growing everyday. Mama and Daddy adore her.”
He looked away. “Good.”
“John, I want to apologize for what happened between us before I left,” she said in response to the pained strain coloring his demeanor. “I’m sorry I made you doubt Belle’s paternity.”
“I never did,” he said turning and matching eyes. “I told you that. I wasn’t surprised when the results came in. Were you?”
She couldn’t turn away, she wanted desperately to avoid seeing the anger in John’s face; and yet she continued to eye him intensely. “John it’s the past, can we move forward? I think it’s time to have an adult conversation about what we are going to do from now on.”
“Fine,” he agreed, reaching for a cup of steaming coffee. “I want to see my daughter.” John said before taking a sip of the dark liquid.
“Is that why you have a lawyer?” Marlena asked pointedly.
“Yes.”
“Well,” she said fidgeting with the sleeve of her coat, “that’s unnecessary John. I would never keep Belle away from you.”
“Wouldn’t you? I don’t know anymore…you’ve done a lot of things that I would never have imagined,” he said picturing her in Roman’s arms. “I’m just being cautious…and besides that, you are still married to Roman. He still thinks he is Belle’s father.”
“John…I’m going to handle Roman.”
“Are you?” He asked with doubt. “I’m not so sure I believe that.”
“I can’t allow him to live a lie anymore. So many things have happened. So much has changed.” She said pulling her hand inside of her coat to touch her belly. “I’m going home to ask Roman for a divorce.”
Silence: her guilt and his anger.
Marlena flinched, fearful of the determination settling in John’s face. “We don’t need lawyers John.”
“No we don’t…I do.”
“John I’m leaving Roman,” she said vaguely, “don’t misunderstand me.”
“I often misunderstand you.”
“I’m leaving Roman because Belle deserves a truthful existence. I don’t want her to be ashamed of who she is, ever. Belle should have a daddy…like you.”
“So what are you saying?”
“I don’t know,” she rationalized. “I don’t want to fight you. I’m saying we don’t need lawyers.”
“You don’t need a lawyer,” he countered, “You have all the power.”
“Power,” Marlena repeated incredulously. “I don’t have any more power than you do.”
“Marlena.”
“John, why…how could you do something so drastic?”
“Me? Marlena from day one, since Belle’s birth, you have seesawed on our daughter’s paternity. We knew the answer. We didn’t need any paternity test. I’m her father.” He said raising the volume of his voice.
Marlena stood up and walked slowly to John. They stood closely, face to face; John watched her. “John, please don’t yell. I didn’t come to fight with you. I have to tell you something,” she said with a nervous tremble in her tone.
“I’m listening,” he said impatiently.
“John please.” She sighed and pulled her coat off slowly. There was no indication of her pregnancy, but she knew how John would react once he knew. His hands would reach immediately for her tummy, where their baby rested. “Can we please just talk like we’re not enemies?”
“Doc.”
Marlena responded with a tender smile. He hadn’t used her nickname since she’d come into the loft. She didn’t want there to be any tension when she told him the news.
He reached up to touch her face; she inched closer. “What is it?” John asked tracing her jawbone.
Marlena opened her mouth, the words hindered on the edge of her tongue. “I found out something in Colorado,” she began.
The telephone startled the quietness of the room. “The machine will get it,” John told her.
Her attention turned toward the left side of the room, where John’s voice spoke mechanically. After a succession of beeps, she heard her voice; Avery, she decided; it was Avery speaking in her charming, unassuming southern tone.
John watched her as she listened to Avery: “John, I can’t wait to see you again. You’re incredible. Everything about you is incredible.” He tried to pull Marlena’s face toward his. “Call me. I need to see you tonight.”
“Avery?” Marlena asked facing him. “She sounds charming.” Her jealousy flared.
“You said something about Colorado,” John reminded her, attempting to shift her focus.
Marlena pushed John’s hand away from her face. “You’re sleeping with your lawyer John?” she asked looking bewildered.
John shook his head, “Doc, we had dinner.”
“And what else?” she asked snidely. “It’s only been a couple of weeks since we…”
“Marlena don’t…I don’t want to have this discussion with you. We’re not a couple. You don’t belong to me—I think that’s how this goes, right?”
“Don’t speak to me that way,” she cried pulling back, her frenzied action surprised John. Coffee scattered from the cup in John’s hand, spilling on his shirt and seeping into his skin.
“Oh gosh John,” Marlena said as she helped him out of his shirt. She lifted the material from his body slowly. “Are you okay?” She said calmly examining his chest.
“I’m fine,” he said dismissively.
“No, let me see,” she said turning him around. Touching his skin for burns, she felt the thin welts across his back. Looking closer, she realized what they were. “Avery’s handiwork?”
John turned quickly, moving away from Marlena’s touch. “Doc?”
“John, you slept with her?” she asked coolly. “You’re sleeping with the woman who’s supposed to represent you in a custody case against me?” The volume in her voice heightened.
“It’s none of your business,” John yelled unexpectedly, “who I sleep with. I’m not yours. I don’t belong to you…we don’t belong to each other. You love Roman, remember.”
“You bastard,” she said angrily.
“No, I’m not the bastard. I’m doing exactly what you expect me to. You made love to Roman.”
“We are not children. Don’t tit for tat with me John. He is my husband, what do you expect me to do….turn him away?”
“No I don’t expect anything out of you! So don’t stand there and judge me.”
“I can’t believe it,” she said cupping her forehead. “I can’t believe you.”
“Marlena, stop it.”
“You stop it. You fucked another woman,” she said bitterly. “You can’t have me so you go to the next best thing. This is never going to work.”
“Marlena, calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down…don’t tell me how to react…how could you do this! How could you go and fuck another woman…your lawyer mind you? A woman who is going to do her very best and obtain nothing but pleasure out of a custody battle between you and me? Don’t you even try to tell me to calm down and relax!” She shouted as she pointed her finger at him, desperate to make sure he heard her some way, somehow.
John grabbed her finger and pushed it away as he tried to grab her arms; hoping to reason with her, calm her down. But he was just as angry as she was; in fact he knew she had no right to be upset, this was his life as well. “Marlena, you need to relax before this gets out of hand.”
“You are out of hand…this whole situation is out of hand. How could you?” She cried as she snatched her body from his grasp and pushed at his chest, slightly throwing him off balance and into a corner table. “I want you to stop seeing her? I want you to stop this affair you have going on?”
“AFFAIR?” John laughed sarcastically as he dropped his gaze to the floor. “This right here is an affair….you and me.” John smiled as he circled his finger between them. “What Avery and I have is anything but. And this isn’t any of your business Marlena….you do not need to know what goes in my personal life…my love life….or anything else for that matter. I will see who I want to see…date who I want to date and….. fuck who I want to fuck. You have no say so in that.” He spat as her eyes went wide in shock while she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.
“Oh really…well then fine. I have a say so in one thing….and that is Belle! I will take her away from you….I won’t let you see her if you keep this up.” She held her head up high as she looked him in his eyes, vicious venom poured through her hazel eyed stare.
“You won’t do any such thing….she is mine….I have rights to her. She is my daughter!!!!” He shouted back as she shook her head slowly.
“You keep this shit up and I will take her away. I don’t want you around my daughter when you’re escorting around whores all over town. I don’t know where she has been….I don’t know where your mouth has been….but I do know one thing….it wont be on MY DAUGHTER.” Marlena spoke harshly as John walked up to her and grabbed her arm.
“Well I don’t know where your mouth has been either but your allowed to kiss MY DAUGHTER! I don’t think so….you will not take Belle away from me…and I will make sure of that.”
“Oh I will…and there is not a court in the world that won’t side with me….no matter how fuckable your lawyer may be.” She removed herself from his grasp as a few tears slipped from her eyes, but her anger still very much present on her face. John took a deep breath, hoping to calm down before he had a psychotic breakdown.
“You need to calm down Marlena….” He spoke softly as she exhausted a tired sigh.
“Don’t tell me what to do.” She said reaching for her coat. “You don’t even understand why I’m so upset.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t get this….you want me. You don’t want me. You want me to move on; you can’t move on. Make up your mind damnit.”
“John…. How am I supposed to say this? I’m so tired of arguing with you. I am so tired of this…of us….of you?”
“Why are you here then? Why do you insist on ruining my life?”
“Ruining your life,” she said pulling her hand over her mouth, “you asshole.”
“Why are you here Marlena?” John shouted as Marlena cried uncontrollably, unable to hold her secret in any longer.
“I’m going to have your baby….I am Pregnant. Is that a good enough reason?”
She cried as she pushed pass John and ran for the elevator.
John froze as the reality of her words sunk into his spirit. He watched in slow motion as she grabbed her coat and jotted for the door, swinging it open and leaving. He wanted to go after her, grab her, ask if what she just said was true and in the end hold her close. However his mind refused to let that happen, instead it fought against the idea of her even being pregnant.
Her deep sob pulled him from his internal battle as he quickly took off running after her. He ran into the hallway as he saw her tiny frame shake violently from the sobs that were now overpowering her. Her hand constantly hitting the button for the elevator, as if it were going to come sooner with each time she pressed it.
He quickly walked up to her as he tried to pull her into his arms but she pushed back, slapping his hands away from her.
“Don’t touch me! Get away from me and leave me alone!” She cried as John tried once more to reach for her.
“Marlena! Are you serious about all this….come on…talk to me!” John begged as Marlena shook her head.
“Oh, now you want to talk? No..No…No…we’re done talking…in fact you and I are through.” She cried as she hit the button once more before wiping her eyes with her hand. “Oh this is ridiculous….I’m taking the stairs!” She complained as she slightly pushed John out of her way. The loud ring from the elevator sounded off as the elevator doors opened, causing John to grab her roughly and yank her into the elevator with him. Pushing her body hard against the wall, his mouth latched onto hers as he fought her battling hands against his body. Her protests were coming out in deep groans as she turned her face from side to side, refusing him to have easy access.
“STOP THIS!!! GET OFF OF ME!!!” She screamed as John tore into her mouth, nipping at her lips each time she turned, causing some blood to appear.
“No!” He moaned as his hands grasped onto her face, pinning it tightly and diving for her mouth; but she fought, hands slapping his chest as they slightly shoved him back. He pulled back looking at her, his roaming hand traveling behind him and hitting the stop button. Her eyes shot open as she tried to push him out the way, refusing to be in this situation, but was quickly pinned onto the wall.
“JOHN GET AWAY FROM ME!!!” She screamed once more as John’s hands now grabbed her coat and tore it open. Fighting with everything she had, she struck at his hands as she pushed his body away from her. “Someone…Anyone…HELP ME PLEASE!!!!” She shouted throughout the small enclosed area as John grabbed her chin with his strong hand and brought it to him. With one final swing, Marlena knocked her slender hand to his cheek, the powerful sting froze him. His hand touched the impacted skin, as he looked at her; sadness in his eyes compounded with pure lust.
She recognized that look and for a moment was scared, scared of this situation, afraid of what was happening to him, and frightened that this was the end of them.
One hard push sent Marlena back into the wall, followed by John’s strong body once more grabbing her arms and pinning them above her head.
“Stop This John!!! It is over between you and I!” She shouted as John smiled softly.
“No it’s not….it’s far from over!!! Especially now…it never will be over between us. You are mine and this time for good!” He moaned against her cheek as she turned her face away, kicking her legs against his as they began to close her into the wall.
“You want to fuck someone….go to Avery! She is your whore…leave me alone!!! I am done with you….for good….forever!” She complained before her mouth was engulfed by John’s hungry kiss, his lips dancing along her slightly bloody ones.
“I belong to you….and only you! You have me now baby!” He groaned against her mouth as his tongue searched for hers, desperate to feel that connection. Once her warm organ was felt, he took it in with his as their tongues dueled against one another, as if one were trying to prove which one had more power. In one swift move, she felt her body rise off the ground as her legs betrayed her and wrapped around his torso. She hated this….she hated everything that was happening but her body wanted it…her soul craved it… Her heart desired this and her emotions were dying for it. She finally managed to get one hand lose as it went to his face as their mouths still clung together.
“I hate you so much John!” She breathed between kisses as John smiled against her swollen lips.
“And I love you so much Baby….I need you…” With one whisper she felt his hand slide down her trembling body and caress her beneath her skirt, through her satin panties. Her eyes closed as she felt the pleasure run throughout her body. How she desired him was something so unexplainable and so powerful, not even she could find words to describe it. The sound of a zipper coming undone, a belt jingling, and fabric being pushed up her hips and something ripping filled her senses as she opened her eyes and looked into John’s Deep blues. The strong pressure and pure pain of John thrusting deep inside her saturated her mind and filled her body, causing it to sense and freeze. Afraid to move, she bit her broken lower lip as she felt the tip of him touch her back wall, the head vibrating hard against the sensitive tissue. A slight moan escaped her as her fingers tugged his hair, yanking his head back from her neck.
“Stop….oh God stop….” She breathed as she felt him pull out a little bit only to thrust back in her roughly once more. A piecing cry and eyes shut tightly, she wrapped her legs around him tighter as his body began to rock harder and quicker against her sensitive form. Their bodies thumped against the wall as John groaned out her name with every thrust, while Marlena met his every move. Her body was aching in pain but she ignored the soreness as John filled her to the max. Her black pump heel slipped from her foot as it dropped along the metal floor, causing a small thump on the ground. John turned his face towards the sound before quickly looking back into Marlena’s eyes, while pushing in and out of warm body.
“You love me?” He moaned as she gave a deep gasp before shaking her head.
“No….I….hate….mmmmm….you!”
“No you don’t….you need me in every sense of the word. And I….am….all…..yours!” He choked out as he pushed hard inside while Marlena screamed out, yanking his hair and biting his neck. Just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, images of john doing the same thing to Avery flashed throughout her mind. In pure jealousy, she pushed his shoulders back as she lifted her body a bit before slamming right down back on him. Within moments, Marlena felt that familiar heat boiling in the pit of her abdomen, twisting and turning through her already heated tissue. Her body tightened, her muscles constricted and her body flinched as the heat exploded with full force. They rocked so hard that Marlena began to think they may have knocked the elevator out of the track, but soon the thought was gone forever as the powerful heat wave rushed down her spine. Her moan came out hard as she arched her head back against the wall while John shoved himself quickly into her body. His eyes traveled down to her stomach as his emotions went in overload; thoughts of his baby growing inside her only fueled his fire. How he loved this woman with so much intensity…such a powerful love that many believed was non existent…but they were living proof….they had it….and they never lost it. John yanked her hair back as he shoved himself inside hard while he emptied his seed deep within her. His eyes shut tightly, his mouth agape, while Marlena attempted to control her cries
“If love hurts, then love some more,
If love hurts some more, then love even more,
If love hurts even more…
Then love til it hurts no more…
Love.”
--Gina Jalbuena
It’s impossible to move forward without first moving backwards.
Breath by breath.
Falling without wings, she drove to John’s loft in a meditative silence; what could she do beyond telling John the truth? This baby—their baby--would change everything between them. She couldn’t keep it from him, not the way she’d tried to do while she was pregnant with Belle. There would be no test for proof; John Black was the father of Isabella and the baby growing inside her.
She understood that her three weeks of self-imposed exile had left a wide door open for John’s interpretation of her actions. She still wanted to see John to discuss the results of Belle’s paternity test. There was no way to avoid it any longer.
Having settled Belle and Eric with Shawn and Caroline, she’d learned that John had been spending time with one Avery Chase. Lawyer; blonde; beautiful; and, present, according to Caroline. Internalizing the information, she decided that this discussion could not wait.
Her heart pounded against her chest as she pulled up to the building. On her last visit, she’d been emotionally raked over the coals. Deserved or not, she wasn’t anxious to revisit that feeling.
Breath by breath.
She swallowed a pocket of stale air, releasing the breath slowly from her mouth.
“You can do this,” she prepped herself. Climbing from the car slowly, her legs felt weighted. She dragged herself into the building, entering the elevator. She’d never been so anxious about seeing John. The ten steps from the elevator to the door felt eerily like the death walk. Deliberately slow steps. Pausing at the door of his loft, she took another breath before knocking.
Marlena could hear John’s footfalls across the wooden floor. He was moving quickly. Had he been waiting for her or someone else? She braced herself for a reaction adverse of the usual pleasantness between them. The slow, tedious sliding of the door quickened her senses as John came into view. He hadn’t changed. She hadn’t expected that he would. Still the most beautiful man she’d ever known. Still those mesmerizing eyes, she followed their path from the top of her head down the span of her heaving chest down slender legs to her narrow feet. She couldn’t speak, not intelligently. He was dressed in all black: a body hugging t-shirt and jeans with shiny boots padding his feet. She loved him in all black.
“Can I come in?” She asked after too long of a silence.
“Sure,” he said moving from the doorway. “Come in.” John watched her anxious movements, aware of how nervous he was himself. He offered her a seat while he stood with arms folded across his chest at a distance.
Marlena sat down on the couch closely drawing her knees together in front of her. “I came here directly from the airport,” she began softly as she attempted to find her voice again, to find a thought that made sense. “We need to discuss some things John.”
“I agree,” he said unfolding his arms, loosening the stiffness from his body. “How is Belle?”
Marlena explained smiling, “she’s been wonderful…growing everyday. Mama and Daddy adore her.”
He looked away. “Good.”
“John, I want to apologize for what happened between us before I left,” she said in response to the pained strain coloring his demeanor. “I’m sorry I made you doubt Belle’s paternity.”
“I never did,” he said turning and matching eyes. “I told you that. I wasn’t surprised when the results came in. Were you?”
She couldn’t turn away, she wanted desperately to avoid seeing the anger in John’s face; and yet she continued to eye him intensely. “John it’s the past, can we move forward? I think it’s time to have an adult conversation about what we are going to do from now on.”
“Fine,” he agreed, reaching for a cup of steaming coffee. “I want to see my daughter.” John said before taking a sip of the dark liquid.
“Is that why you have a lawyer?” Marlena asked pointedly.
“Yes.”
“Well,” she said fidgeting with the sleeve of her coat, “that’s unnecessary John. I would never keep Belle away from you.”
“Wouldn’t you? I don’t know anymore…you’ve done a lot of things that I would never have imagined,” he said picturing her in Roman’s arms. “I’m just being cautious…and besides that, you are still married to Roman. He still thinks he is Belle’s father.”
“John…I’m going to handle Roman.”
“Are you?” He asked with doubt. “I’m not so sure I believe that.”
“I can’t allow him to live a lie anymore. So many things have happened. So much has changed.” She said pulling her hand inside of her coat to touch her belly. “I’m going home to ask Roman for a divorce.”
Silence: her guilt and his anger.
Marlena flinched, fearful of the determination settling in John’s face. “We don’t need lawyers John.”
“No we don’t…I do.”
“John I’m leaving Roman,” she said vaguely, “don’t misunderstand me.”
“I often misunderstand you.”
“I’m leaving Roman because Belle deserves a truthful existence. I don’t want her to be ashamed of who she is, ever. Belle should have a daddy…like you.”
“So what are you saying?”
“I don’t know,” she rationalized. “I don’t want to fight you. I’m saying we don’t need lawyers.”
“You don’t need a lawyer,” he countered, “You have all the power.”
“Power,” Marlena repeated incredulously. “I don’t have any more power than you do.”
“Marlena.”
“John, why…how could you do something so drastic?”
“Me? Marlena from day one, since Belle’s birth, you have seesawed on our daughter’s paternity. We knew the answer. We didn’t need any paternity test. I’m her father.” He said raising the volume of his voice.
Marlena stood up and walked slowly to John. They stood closely, face to face; John watched her. “John, please don’t yell. I didn’t come to fight with you. I have to tell you something,” she said with a nervous tremble in her tone.
“I’m listening,” he said impatiently.
“John please.” She sighed and pulled her coat off slowly. There was no indication of her pregnancy, but she knew how John would react once he knew. His hands would reach immediately for her tummy, where their baby rested. “Can we please just talk like we’re not enemies?”
“Doc.”
Marlena responded with a tender smile. He hadn’t used her nickname since she’d come into the loft. She didn’t want there to be any tension when she told him the news.
He reached up to touch her face; she inched closer. “What is it?” John asked tracing her jawbone.
Marlena opened her mouth, the words hindered on the edge of her tongue. “I found out something in Colorado,” she began.
The telephone startled the quietness of the room. “The machine will get it,” John told her.
Her attention turned toward the left side of the room, where John’s voice spoke mechanically. After a succession of beeps, she heard her voice; Avery, she decided; it was Avery speaking in her charming, unassuming southern tone.
John watched her as she listened to Avery: “John, I can’t wait to see you again. You’re incredible. Everything about you is incredible.” He tried to pull Marlena’s face toward his. “Call me. I need to see you tonight.”
“Avery?” Marlena asked facing him. “She sounds charming.” Her jealousy flared.
“You said something about Colorado,” John reminded her, attempting to shift her focus.
Marlena pushed John’s hand away from her face. “You’re sleeping with your lawyer John?” she asked looking bewildered.
John shook his head, “Doc, we had dinner.”
“And what else?” she asked snidely. “It’s only been a couple of weeks since we…”
“Marlena don’t…I don’t want to have this discussion with you. We’re not a couple. You don’t belong to me—I think that’s how this goes, right?”
“Don’t speak to me that way,” she cried pulling back, her frenzied action surprised John. Coffee scattered from the cup in John’s hand, spilling on his shirt and seeping into his skin.
“Oh gosh John,” Marlena said as she helped him out of his shirt. She lifted the material from his body slowly. “Are you okay?” She said calmly examining his chest.
“I’m fine,” he said dismissively.
“No, let me see,” she said turning him around. Touching his skin for burns, she felt the thin welts across his back. Looking closer, she realized what they were. “Avery’s handiwork?”
John turned quickly, moving away from Marlena’s touch. “Doc?”
“John, you slept with her?” she asked coolly. “You’re sleeping with the woman who’s supposed to represent you in a custody case against me?” The volume in her voice heightened.
“It’s none of your business,” John yelled unexpectedly, “who I sleep with. I’m not yours. I don’t belong to you…we don’t belong to each other. You love Roman, remember.”
“You bastard,” she said angrily.
“No, I’m not the bastard. I’m doing exactly what you expect me to. You made love to Roman.”
“We are not children. Don’t tit for tat with me John. He is my husband, what do you expect me to do….turn him away?”
“No I don’t expect anything out of you! So don’t stand there and judge me.”
“I can’t believe it,” she said cupping her forehead. “I can’t believe you.”
“Marlena, stop it.”
“You stop it. You fucked another woman,” she said bitterly. “You can’t have me so you go to the next best thing. This is never going to work.”
“Marlena, calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down…don’t tell me how to react…how could you do this! How could you go and fuck another woman…your lawyer mind you? A woman who is going to do her very best and obtain nothing but pleasure out of a custody battle between you and me? Don’t you even try to tell me to calm down and relax!” She shouted as she pointed her finger at him, desperate to make sure he heard her some way, somehow.
John grabbed her finger and pushed it away as he tried to grab her arms; hoping to reason with her, calm her down. But he was just as angry as she was; in fact he knew she had no right to be upset, this was his life as well. “Marlena, you need to relax before this gets out of hand.”
“You are out of hand…this whole situation is out of hand. How could you?” She cried as she snatched her body from his grasp and pushed at his chest, slightly throwing him off balance and into a corner table. “I want you to stop seeing her? I want you to stop this affair you have going on?”
“AFFAIR?” John laughed sarcastically as he dropped his gaze to the floor. “This right here is an affair….you and me.” John smiled as he circled his finger between them. “What Avery and I have is anything but. And this isn’t any of your business Marlena….you do not need to know what goes in my personal life…my love life….or anything else for that matter. I will see who I want to see…date who I want to date and….. fuck who I want to fuck. You have no say so in that.” He spat as her eyes went wide in shock while she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.
“Oh really…well then fine. I have a say so in one thing….and that is Belle! I will take her away from you….I won’t let you see her if you keep this up.” She held her head up high as she looked him in his eyes, vicious venom poured through her hazel eyed stare.
“You won’t do any such thing….she is mine….I have rights to her. She is my daughter!!!!” He shouted back as she shook her head slowly.
“You keep this shit up and I will take her away. I don’t want you around my daughter when you’re escorting around whores all over town. I don’t know where she has been….I don’t know where your mouth has been….but I do know one thing….it wont be on MY DAUGHTER.” Marlena spoke harshly as John walked up to her and grabbed her arm.
“Well I don’t know where your mouth has been either but your allowed to kiss MY DAUGHTER! I don’t think so….you will not take Belle away from me…and I will make sure of that.”
“Oh I will…and there is not a court in the world that won’t side with me….no matter how fuckable your lawyer may be.” She removed herself from his grasp as a few tears slipped from her eyes, but her anger still very much present on her face. John took a deep breath, hoping to calm down before he had a psychotic breakdown.
“You need to calm down Marlena….” He spoke softly as she exhausted a tired sigh.
“Don’t tell me what to do.” She said reaching for her coat. “You don’t even understand why I’m so upset.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t get this….you want me. You don’t want me. You want me to move on; you can’t move on. Make up your mind damnit.”
“John…. How am I supposed to say this? I’m so tired of arguing with you. I am so tired of this…of us….of you?”
“Why are you here then? Why do you insist on ruining my life?”
“Ruining your life,” she said pulling her hand over her mouth, “you asshole.”
“Why are you here Marlena?” John shouted as Marlena cried uncontrollably, unable to hold her secret in any longer.
“I’m going to have your baby….I am Pregnant. Is that a good enough reason?”
She cried as she pushed pass John and ran for the elevator.
John froze as the reality of her words sunk into his spirit. He watched in slow motion as she grabbed her coat and jotted for the door, swinging it open and leaving. He wanted to go after her, grab her, ask if what she just said was true and in the end hold her close. However his mind refused to let that happen, instead it fought against the idea of her even being pregnant.
Her deep sob pulled him from his internal battle as he quickly took off running after her. He ran into the hallway as he saw her tiny frame shake violently from the sobs that were now overpowering her. Her hand constantly hitting the button for the elevator, as if it were going to come sooner with each time she pressed it.
He quickly walked up to her as he tried to pull her into his arms but she pushed back, slapping his hands away from her.
“Don’t touch me! Get away from me and leave me alone!” She cried as John tried once more to reach for her.
“Marlena! Are you serious about all this….come on…talk to me!” John begged as Marlena shook her head.
“Oh, now you want to talk? No..No…No…we’re done talking…in fact you and I are through.” She cried as she hit the button once more before wiping her eyes with her hand. “Oh this is ridiculous….I’m taking the stairs!” She complained as she slightly pushed John out of her way. The loud ring from the elevator sounded off as the elevator doors opened, causing John to grab her roughly and yank her into the elevator with him. Pushing her body hard against the wall, his mouth latched onto hers as he fought her battling hands against his body. Her protests were coming out in deep groans as she turned her face from side to side, refusing him to have easy access.
“STOP THIS!!! GET OFF OF ME!!!” She screamed as John tore into her mouth, nipping at her lips each time she turned, causing some blood to appear.
“No!” He moaned as his hands grasped onto her face, pinning it tightly and diving for her mouth; but she fought, hands slapping his chest as they slightly shoved him back. He pulled back looking at her, his roaming hand traveling behind him and hitting the stop button. Her eyes shot open as she tried to push him out the way, refusing to be in this situation, but was quickly pinned onto the wall.
“JOHN GET AWAY FROM ME!!!” She screamed once more as John’s hands now grabbed her coat and tore it open. Fighting with everything she had, she struck at his hands as she pushed his body away from her. “Someone…Anyone…HELP ME PLEASE!!!!” She shouted throughout the small enclosed area as John grabbed her chin with his strong hand and brought it to him. With one final swing, Marlena knocked her slender hand to his cheek, the powerful sting froze him. His hand touched the impacted skin, as he looked at her; sadness in his eyes compounded with pure lust.
She recognized that look and for a moment was scared, scared of this situation, afraid of what was happening to him, and frightened that this was the end of them.
One hard push sent Marlena back into the wall, followed by John’s strong body once more grabbing her arms and pinning them above her head.
“Stop This John!!! It is over between you and I!” She shouted as John smiled softly.
“No it’s not….it’s far from over!!! Especially now…it never will be over between us. You are mine and this time for good!” He moaned against her cheek as she turned her face away, kicking her legs against his as they began to close her into the wall.
“You want to fuck someone….go to Avery! She is your whore…leave me alone!!! I am done with you….for good….forever!” She complained before her mouth was engulfed by John’s hungry kiss, his lips dancing along her slightly bloody ones.
“I belong to you….and only you! You have me now baby!” He groaned against her mouth as his tongue searched for hers, desperate to feel that connection. Once her warm organ was felt, he took it in with his as their tongues dueled against one another, as if one were trying to prove which one had more power. In one swift move, she felt her body rise off the ground as her legs betrayed her and wrapped around his torso. She hated this….she hated everything that was happening but her body wanted it…her soul craved it… Her heart desired this and her emotions were dying for it. She finally managed to get one hand lose as it went to his face as their mouths still clung together.
“I hate you so much John!” She breathed between kisses as John smiled against her swollen lips.
“And I love you so much Baby….I need you…” With one whisper she felt his hand slide down her trembling body and caress her beneath her skirt, through her satin panties. Her eyes closed as she felt the pleasure run throughout her body. How she desired him was something so unexplainable and so powerful, not even she could find words to describe it. The sound of a zipper coming undone, a belt jingling, and fabric being pushed up her hips and something ripping filled her senses as she opened her eyes and looked into John’s Deep blues. The strong pressure and pure pain of John thrusting deep inside her saturated her mind and filled her body, causing it to sense and freeze. Afraid to move, she bit her broken lower lip as she felt the tip of him touch her back wall, the head vibrating hard against the sensitive tissue. A slight moan escaped her as her fingers tugged his hair, yanking his head back from her neck.
“Stop….oh God stop….” She breathed as she felt him pull out a little bit only to thrust back in her roughly once more. A piecing cry and eyes shut tightly, she wrapped her legs around him tighter as his body began to rock harder and quicker against her sensitive form. Their bodies thumped against the wall as John groaned out her name with every thrust, while Marlena met his every move. Her body was aching in pain but she ignored the soreness as John filled her to the max. Her black pump heel slipped from her foot as it dropped along the metal floor, causing a small thump on the ground. John turned his face towards the sound before quickly looking back into Marlena’s eyes, while pushing in and out of warm body.
“You love me?” He moaned as she gave a deep gasp before shaking her head.
“No….I….hate….mmmmm….you!”
“No you don’t….you need me in every sense of the word. And I….am….all…..yours!” He choked out as he pushed hard inside while Marlena screamed out, yanking his hair and biting his neck. Just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, images of john doing the same thing to Avery flashed throughout her mind. In pure jealousy, she pushed his shoulders back as she lifted her body a bit before slamming right down back on him. Within moments, Marlena felt that familiar heat boiling in the pit of her abdomen, twisting and turning through her already heated tissue. Her body tightened, her muscles constricted and her body flinched as the heat exploded with full force. They rocked so hard that Marlena began to think they may have knocked the elevator out of the track, but soon the thought was gone forever as the powerful heat wave rushed down her spine. Her moan came out hard as she arched her head back against the wall while John shoved himself quickly into her body. His eyes traveled down to her stomach as his emotions went in overload; thoughts of his baby growing inside her only fueled his fire. How he loved this woman with so much intensity…such a powerful love that many believed was non existent…but they were living proof….they had it….and they never lost it. John yanked her hair back as he shoved himself inside hard while he emptied his seed deep within her. His eyes shut tightly, his mouth agape, while Marlena attempted to control her cries
