Post by Mimi on Sept 17, 2006 22:19:00 GMT -5
3.7 So You Walked With Me For A While
“God answers sharp and sudden on
Some prayers,
And thrusts the thing we have
Prayed for in our face,
A gauntlet with a gift in it.”
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Aurora Leigh. Book ii
The touch of his hand broke her sleep as she felt the warmness of his palm resting on her swollen cheek. Morning, repercussions, and truth. John was laying with her; his chest had been her comfort throughout the night. Sleep struck her quickly after Roman’s quiet exit from the scene of his crime, or her crime; she wasn’t able to distinguish which. The altercation between John and Roman had upset her. She didn’t want that, not John fighting Roman or vice versa. Everything should be settled with as little embarrassment as possible.
“John.”
His eyes fluttered opened, immediately finding her. He sat up abruptly, scanning their surroundings. “Honey?”
“Salem Inn,” she said sitting up to rest against the headboard.
“I know where we are…how are you?” he asked turning her face gently to examine the swollen cheek. “He didn’t break any skin, but you’re going to have a bruise. I should have gotten you to the doctor last night, or gotten some ice for this.”
She chuckled lightly at his persistence. “I am a doctor.” Her face was causing a slight discomfort when she opened her mouth.
“I’m going to kill him,” John said squaring his jaw. “He’s crossed the line.”
“John, let’s just calm down and be rational about this. I’m not saying it’s okay but he was upset…he saw us together. It upset him.”
He watched her incredulously, securing his weight on the palm of his hand as he leaned toward Marlena in bed. “No. I’m not going to let you allow him to get away with this. This is bullshit and you know it. Don’t analyze this Doc, feel the pain…feel it baby. He hurt you.”
She grew quiet as a pensive stare overcame her face. She swept her hair across her shoulder empathically. Everything was dramatic; she was avoiding those feelings and doing anything not to feel them.
“Did you hear me, Doc? He hit you…that son of a bitch actually put his hands on you.”
“John, don’t talk about it. Please. I just want to do what I have to do to end things quietly with Roman.”
“Doc it’s never going to be quiet. He knows now. There are no more secrets. He’s livid. I’m never going to allow you to be in the same room without him, not without me there. Do you understand me?”
“I’m not a child, John. I’m not afraid of Roman.”
“You don’t have to…” he paused, easing his tone slightly lower, “I’m worried about you. You’re pregnant Doc. I want my baby to be healthy.”
“Your baby?”
“Our baby Doc,” he corrected, “our baby who I want to be healthy…whose Mama I want to be healthy. Now promise me something.”
“What?”
“I don’t want you to see Roman by yourself. If I have to be there at all times, I will be.” The unaffected look Marlena gave him made him sit up, “I’m serious.”
“You can’t ask me to promise you that John.”
“Doc, I don’t know if you remember last night—when you were pinned to the wall by that animal…where he hit you.”
“John, don’t.”
“What is the matter with you? Even after all of this you’re still loyal to him. You’re carrying my baby…it’s not something I’m willing to accept. You’re not to see him.” He demanded. “Do you understand me?”
She turned and eyed him intently, pulling her legs over the side of the bed with her back to John. Settling her hands at her sides on the mattress, the glare of her wedding ring hit her eye. “Don’t talk to me like that…I won’t accept that from you or Roman.”
John noticed her attentiveness the wedding band on her finger. He enclosed her from behind, snuggling against her back. He dropped his chin onto her shoulder, “I’m sorry baby,” he said gently near her neck. “I’m sorry about all of this…but there are some things I am not wiling to budge on…you’re not to see him alone.”
Breathing a heavy sigh, she leaned backward into his chest. “Isn’t it ironic? He asked the same thing of me concerning you a couple of months ago.”
John lifted her hand; he slowly removed the golden band from her finger. “This doesn’t belong here anymore.” He put it on the nightstand. “I’m going to put something there just as soon as you allow me to do so.”
“John, I appreciate you being here with me.” She admitted securing his arms around her waist. She brought her lips to his hand, “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“You’ll never have to know. Neither will the children.” He kissed the curve of her neck. “I’ve been thinking.”
“What about?” she said feeling relaxed.
“Names. What are we going to name this kid?”
She laughed, “We don’t know what this kid is. I haven’t been to any doctor yet.”
“Do you think there’s something wrong?”
“No, I’m not twenty-five anymore but women my age are having children more frequently. I just don’t want to be presumptuous…I want to make sure everything is all right.”
“This is a Black right? He’ll be okay.”
“He.”
“Yes he, the girls are outweighing the boys Doc. Eric and Brady need to add a little testosterone this little equation.”
“I can’t believe we’re having another baby.”
“We’re making up for lost time.”
“We couldn’t have picked a better time? A better situation?”
Her questions struck John and an old gnawing hindered him quietly. Marlena’s patting of his thigh sharpened his attention back to her.
“What are you thinking about?”
“That argument we had before Colorado…we haven’t talked about it. We said some pretty angry words to each other.”
“Heat of the moment…did you mean any of those angry words?”
“At that moment I did…I really wanted to hurt you.”
“I know.” She said remembering the last words he’d said before she left. “I think you called my virtue into question. That hurt me.”
“I wanted to hurt you. But I would never hurt you in the way that Roman did last night.” He said solemnly, stroking her cheek. “No matter what happens between us, I’ll always love you.”
“I’m sorry,” she said pressing her lips against his neck. He was still holding her snugly from behind. “You’re the last person I wanted to hurt by any of this.”
“Doc, I’ll tell you what. Let’s make a pact to stop apologizing so much. We’re human and there are going to be tough times…isn’t that what you said to me?”
“Yes.”
“Well?”
She nodded affirmatively.
“Now, let’s talk about the new place I have for you.”
“First, let’s call and check on the baby. It’s the first time I’ve been away from her overnight. I wonder how she slept,” she said lifting the phone to dial Caroline. She detected the anxiousness in Caroline’s voice immediately.
“Marlena, she’s back home. Roman came to pick her up last night.”
The pace of her heart quickened. “Roman?”
“He’s upset Marlena. He told Shawn and I about you and John.”
“Where did he take Belle…where’s Eric?” She stood up and swiveled around. “They’re gone?” She said into the phone, watching John as she spoke.
“Yes. He said they were going home…and that you were not welcome there.”
“Caroline…I’m sorry that you’re in the middle of all of this, but he can’t simply take the children and keep me away from them.”
“Sweetheart calm down, remember the baby.” John reminded her. He sat her down on the edge of the bed.
“What else did he say, Caroline?”
“Nothing. He stormed through here, told us what he saw, and took the children home. They’re okay. I called and spoke to Eric this morning. Sweetheart they’re fine. Maybe you should give Roman some time to cool off.”
“I’m sorry Caroline but I’m not going to do that. She’s my baby and I’m not going to be without her.”
“They’re his children too Marlena. I’m not taking sides, I’m just saying.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll handle this.” Marlena said. “Thank you.” She hung up and hurried to the bathroom with John following.
“Wait…Doc.”
“John, I won’t be made to stay away for my children. They’re mine. I’m their mother.”
“Baby, we’re going to get that settled. I want you to calm down. We have to remember this baby,” he said pressing her stomach. “If you want to go over and get the children, then we’ll do so but only after you calm down.”
“John, I can’t calm down. I don’t know what Roman is thinking…or telling the children. I have to make sure she’s all right.”
“She’s fine honey. Roman would never hurt the children. I do know that about the man.”
“I don’t care,” she said pushing pass him. “I want to go.”
“What are you so afraid of Doc?”
“John, I lost the twins for five years. I’ll never be able to replace those years. We’re still suffering from the repercussions of my absence. I don’t want to go through that with Belle,” she explained as her eyes widened wildly. “Those are my babies and nobody is going to take them away from me again.”
“Honey, listen to me,” he said pulling her face steady, “I not going to let him take anything away from you. Belle is not his child. That’s our little girl. You’re never going to lose her.”
“These are my babies.”
“I know. Now if you promise to remain calm, I’ll take you to pick up our daughter.”
“What about Eric and Sami?”
“Doc, let’s take this one step at a time. He has rights to the twins. They are his biological children. He can’t have my daughter…I won’t allow it.”
“John, can we please just go,” she said heading back to the bathroom to get dressed.
“God answers sharp and sudden on
Some prayers,
And thrusts the thing we have
Prayed for in our face,
A gauntlet with a gift in it.”
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Aurora Leigh. Book ii
The touch of his hand broke her sleep as she felt the warmness of his palm resting on her swollen cheek. Morning, repercussions, and truth. John was laying with her; his chest had been her comfort throughout the night. Sleep struck her quickly after Roman’s quiet exit from the scene of his crime, or her crime; she wasn’t able to distinguish which. The altercation between John and Roman had upset her. She didn’t want that, not John fighting Roman or vice versa. Everything should be settled with as little embarrassment as possible.
“John.”
His eyes fluttered opened, immediately finding her. He sat up abruptly, scanning their surroundings. “Honey?”
“Salem Inn,” she said sitting up to rest against the headboard.
“I know where we are…how are you?” he asked turning her face gently to examine the swollen cheek. “He didn’t break any skin, but you’re going to have a bruise. I should have gotten you to the doctor last night, or gotten some ice for this.”
She chuckled lightly at his persistence. “I am a doctor.” Her face was causing a slight discomfort when she opened her mouth.
“I’m going to kill him,” John said squaring his jaw. “He’s crossed the line.”
“John, let’s just calm down and be rational about this. I’m not saying it’s okay but he was upset…he saw us together. It upset him.”
He watched her incredulously, securing his weight on the palm of his hand as he leaned toward Marlena in bed. “No. I’m not going to let you allow him to get away with this. This is bullshit and you know it. Don’t analyze this Doc, feel the pain…feel it baby. He hurt you.”
She grew quiet as a pensive stare overcame her face. She swept her hair across her shoulder empathically. Everything was dramatic; she was avoiding those feelings and doing anything not to feel them.
“Did you hear me, Doc? He hit you…that son of a bitch actually put his hands on you.”
“John, don’t talk about it. Please. I just want to do what I have to do to end things quietly with Roman.”
“Doc it’s never going to be quiet. He knows now. There are no more secrets. He’s livid. I’m never going to allow you to be in the same room without him, not without me there. Do you understand me?”
“I’m not a child, John. I’m not afraid of Roman.”
“You don’t have to…” he paused, easing his tone slightly lower, “I’m worried about you. You’re pregnant Doc. I want my baby to be healthy.”
“Your baby?”
“Our baby Doc,” he corrected, “our baby who I want to be healthy…whose Mama I want to be healthy. Now promise me something.”
“What?”
“I don’t want you to see Roman by yourself. If I have to be there at all times, I will be.” The unaffected look Marlena gave him made him sit up, “I’m serious.”
“You can’t ask me to promise you that John.”
“Doc, I don’t know if you remember last night—when you were pinned to the wall by that animal…where he hit you.”
“John, don’t.”
“What is the matter with you? Even after all of this you’re still loyal to him. You’re carrying my baby…it’s not something I’m willing to accept. You’re not to see him.” He demanded. “Do you understand me?”
She turned and eyed him intently, pulling her legs over the side of the bed with her back to John. Settling her hands at her sides on the mattress, the glare of her wedding ring hit her eye. “Don’t talk to me like that…I won’t accept that from you or Roman.”
John noticed her attentiveness the wedding band on her finger. He enclosed her from behind, snuggling against her back. He dropped his chin onto her shoulder, “I’m sorry baby,” he said gently near her neck. “I’m sorry about all of this…but there are some things I am not wiling to budge on…you’re not to see him alone.”
Breathing a heavy sigh, she leaned backward into his chest. “Isn’t it ironic? He asked the same thing of me concerning you a couple of months ago.”
John lifted her hand; he slowly removed the golden band from her finger. “This doesn’t belong here anymore.” He put it on the nightstand. “I’m going to put something there just as soon as you allow me to do so.”
“John, I appreciate you being here with me.” She admitted securing his arms around her waist. She brought her lips to his hand, “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“You’ll never have to know. Neither will the children.” He kissed the curve of her neck. “I’ve been thinking.”
“What about?” she said feeling relaxed.
“Names. What are we going to name this kid?”
She laughed, “We don’t know what this kid is. I haven’t been to any doctor yet.”
“Do you think there’s something wrong?”
“No, I’m not twenty-five anymore but women my age are having children more frequently. I just don’t want to be presumptuous…I want to make sure everything is all right.”
“This is a Black right? He’ll be okay.”
“He.”
“Yes he, the girls are outweighing the boys Doc. Eric and Brady need to add a little testosterone this little equation.”
“I can’t believe we’re having another baby.”
“We’re making up for lost time.”
“We couldn’t have picked a better time? A better situation?”
Her questions struck John and an old gnawing hindered him quietly. Marlena’s patting of his thigh sharpened his attention back to her.
“What are you thinking about?”
“That argument we had before Colorado…we haven’t talked about it. We said some pretty angry words to each other.”
“Heat of the moment…did you mean any of those angry words?”
“At that moment I did…I really wanted to hurt you.”
“I know.” She said remembering the last words he’d said before she left. “I think you called my virtue into question. That hurt me.”
“I wanted to hurt you. But I would never hurt you in the way that Roman did last night.” He said solemnly, stroking her cheek. “No matter what happens between us, I’ll always love you.”
“I’m sorry,” she said pressing her lips against his neck. He was still holding her snugly from behind. “You’re the last person I wanted to hurt by any of this.”
“Doc, I’ll tell you what. Let’s make a pact to stop apologizing so much. We’re human and there are going to be tough times…isn’t that what you said to me?”
“Yes.”
“Well?”
She nodded affirmatively.
“Now, let’s talk about the new place I have for you.”
“First, let’s call and check on the baby. It’s the first time I’ve been away from her overnight. I wonder how she slept,” she said lifting the phone to dial Caroline. She detected the anxiousness in Caroline’s voice immediately.
“Marlena, she’s back home. Roman came to pick her up last night.”
The pace of her heart quickened. “Roman?”
“He’s upset Marlena. He told Shawn and I about you and John.”
“Where did he take Belle…where’s Eric?” She stood up and swiveled around. “They’re gone?” She said into the phone, watching John as she spoke.
“Yes. He said they were going home…and that you were not welcome there.”
“Caroline…I’m sorry that you’re in the middle of all of this, but he can’t simply take the children and keep me away from them.”
“Sweetheart calm down, remember the baby.” John reminded her. He sat her down on the edge of the bed.
“What else did he say, Caroline?”
“Nothing. He stormed through here, told us what he saw, and took the children home. They’re okay. I called and spoke to Eric this morning. Sweetheart they’re fine. Maybe you should give Roman some time to cool off.”
“I’m sorry Caroline but I’m not going to do that. She’s my baby and I’m not going to be without her.”
“They’re his children too Marlena. I’m not taking sides, I’m just saying.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll handle this.” Marlena said. “Thank you.” She hung up and hurried to the bathroom with John following.
“Wait…Doc.”
“John, I won’t be made to stay away for my children. They’re mine. I’m their mother.”
“Baby, we’re going to get that settled. I want you to calm down. We have to remember this baby,” he said pressing her stomach. “If you want to go over and get the children, then we’ll do so but only after you calm down.”
“John, I can’t calm down. I don’t know what Roman is thinking…or telling the children. I have to make sure she’s all right.”
“She’s fine honey. Roman would never hurt the children. I do know that about the man.”
“I don’t care,” she said pushing pass him. “I want to go.”
“What are you so afraid of Doc?”
“John, I lost the twins for five years. I’ll never be able to replace those years. We’re still suffering from the repercussions of my absence. I don’t want to go through that with Belle,” she explained as her eyes widened wildly. “Those are my babies and nobody is going to take them away from me again.”
“Honey, listen to me,” he said pulling her face steady, “I not going to let him take anything away from you. Belle is not his child. That’s our little girl. You’re never going to lose her.”
“These are my babies.”
“I know. Now if you promise to remain calm, I’ll take you to pick up our daughter.”
“What about Eric and Sami?”
“Doc, let’s take this one step at a time. He has rights to the twins. They are his biological children. He can’t have my daughter…I won’t allow it.”
“John, can we please just go,” she said heading back to the bathroom to get dressed.
