The Closer I Get To You: Chapter 34b (NC-17) Oct 3, 2006 19:06:56 GMT -5
Post by Mimi on Oct 3, 2006 19:06:56 GMT -5
4.3.5 Placed On The Highest Shelf
“You see things; and you say “why?”
But I dream things that never were;
And I say “why not?”
-- George Bernard Shaw
“You see things; and you say “why?”
But I dream things that never were;
And I say “why not?”
-- George Bernard Shaw
Sex induced sleep quenches a thirst exacerbated by two lovers’ devotion to satisfy each other. The best verdict of lovemaking is how well, quickly, and deeply sleep pervades. She was asleep, sheltered in his encircled arms; her cheek pressed against the rising and falling of his chest; still connected at their pelvis’; his slackened manhood remained in the crevice of her center. His hand lay flattened across her back where he’d rubbed until she was asleep.
She awoke first. Moonlight filtered through the slit of the curtains lining the balcony doors. The blue haze illuminated John’s face in a soft light, casting a Grecian profile to his angular face. He’d been wearing his hair short, tapered on all sides. She hadn’t noticed it until then. It was something she figured she would notice if she saw him everyday. He twitched. She had never seen that either, it was oddly amusing. Her attempt to stifle her giggling failed and her body convulsed against John. Indigo eyes fluttered open, squinting beneath his heavy dark lashes. He tightened his hold around her after his sleepy confusion dissipated.
“Hi.” She whispered propping her chin on his chest. A mischievous glint sparkled in her eye in the shadows; her mouth was set in an appreciative smile.
“Hi.” He said running his deft fingers along her back.
“Ohh my…that was…I just love you so much.” Marlena rambled. “I love you,” she said more confidently, more effectively.
“I love you too baby. I love you, you’re my lady – you’re mine. I’m keeping you forever.” His voice dips low in his possessiveness.
“I absolutely am.” She accepted lifting her eye level to meet those indigo tools of manipulation. Belle would definitely possess that gift, she thought to herself.
“I love to hear you admit that. Say it again.”
“I absolutely am…I belong to you.” She said slowly. Feminists would burn her at the stake but not if they could come home to a man as giving and self-sacrificing as John.
“That’s a fact.”
She grinned lightly at his immortal phrase. He hadn’t moved an inch of himself from her body. She didn’t want to lose him entirely. As long as he was there, inside her body, they were one. She needed that oneness. When he tilted his face down to kiss her mouth, she met his lips with a gentle, coy sweep of her mouth against his. “Honey…honey…before we get carried away here, how did you get here?”
“You brought me here…to the edge of insanity with your body.” He said smiling mischievously.
“A buddy is doing duty as the watch guard for Roman. I told him I had to get inside to make love to this incredible blonde and he was only too eager to abide by my wishes.”
She gasped as she tapped him across his chest. “John.”
“I have a key.” He told her laughing.
“The story about the cop is untrue?”
“No…hey if I’d have known you were interested in him, I’d have sent him in my place.”
She stopped smiling, “that’s not funny. I don’t want anyone except for you.” Her seriousness was an uncomfortable impasse in the lightness of their previous moments.
“Good. Baby…I know that now.” He assured her with another kiss. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me…after seeing me with Avery.”
“Why?” She asked convincingly. “I’m not jealous of Avery.” She lied. “We had a nice talk after you left.” She watched John attempt to hide his alarm in the shadow.
“I talked to Avery,” she said confidently. “You met with her to tell her that you’re relationship was finished. She’s going to work as your lawyer still.” She tried to keep the contempt from her voice. Jealousy is a strange emotion. It could destroy and also build a relationship. She decided to use its presence as a building block. “She’s a lovely girl. In fact, I can see why you were infatuated with her. She’s beautiful and smart…very capable.”
“She’s no you.”
“No,” she said shaking her head, “she’s not. But that’s another matter altogether.”
“She’s working on the restraining order.”
“Good…because if you’re found here, it’s definite jail time John. This is dangerous.”
“That’s probably why you made love to me so frantically…the danger of getting caught. What do your books say about that?” He asked twirling her hair between his fingers.
“It’s an erotic stimulant.” She admitted.
“I love when you talk like a doctor.” He teased kissing her again. “Say something else Doc.”
“I don’t want you to go to jail. I’d miss you too much. I want you to stay here, forever. Do you understand?” She asked John as rose from his chest and lifted herself slowly from him. “I’ve been so confused about what I wanted. I want you. I want you and the children…our babies…the new baby – it’s time for us.”
“Wow, good sex clears your mind up this much.” He said pulling her face between his hands.
She couldn’t help laughing at his sillyness.
“No seriously Doc…I’ve been waiting for this forever. You mean it, don’t you?”
“Yes. I need you. I want to come home after work and see your face. Waking up in your arms…going to sleep in them. I don’t know why I allowed anything to get in my way.”
“That doesn’t matter anymore.”
“You’re right. It doesn’t. What matters is now…and now I want you. You don’t deserve half of the things I’ve put you through. I’ve never been woman enough to own up to my part in our relationship but life has a way of forcing you to recognize things. I don’t deserve you John. I don’t know why I’ve been blessed with you but I’m going to appreciate it from now on. I promise you that I’ll never deny the way I feel about you.”
“Come here baby,” he said crushing her naked body against him. They fell against the bed, finding their each other’s mouths in the collapse. “It’s you and me, Doc.” He said into her mouth.
“You and me.” He said emphasized grinding into her pelvis. “I’ve never wanted you so bad. You saying those words…you telling me that it’s you and me.”
“It’s always been you and me.” She answered kissing him.
“Baby, you’re trying to kill me.” He said leading his stiffness toward her throbbing middle. She was poised to take him fully. He was partially inside of her vaginal walls when Belle’s cries startled the silence, capturing Marlena’s attention.
“It’s Belle,” she said pushing him away.
“Wait.” John said pulling her back into the bed. “Give her a minute to cry.”
“John. I can’t stand to hear her cry. I hate it.” She said freeing her wrist and heading for the door. She took three steps before Belle’s cries died down.
“She’s fine. You can go and check but she’s okay.”
She waited, vigilantly listening for another rupture of cries but Belle was idly sucking her thumb in her crib. Marlena walked back toward John who flicked on the lamp beside the bed. She climbed beside him to cuddle against his back, wrapping her arms around him.
“Mood killer…I’m going to have to teach my baby girl that Mama and Daddy like special me time.” John said bringing her mouth to meet his touch.
“Honey, you can be sorry about a forgotten birthday, not this. I’m okay. I’m a satisfied man.”
“You are one of the satisfying men I know.” She told him rubbing her hands across the warm regions of his lower body. “You’re the best.”
“The best huh?”
“That means you’ve had a lot of experience to decide that I’m the best.” He said casually, although his face told a different story. Her comment struck him oddly. “Have you?”
She laughed off his question.
He captured her wondering hands and pinned them at her side. “Doc?”
“John, are you seriously asking me…”
He finished for her, “what number am I?”
“John. Why would you want to know that?”
“I don’t know. We’ve never talked about it. I’ve always wondered. Every man wonders.”
She propped herself up on her elbow. “Well, it’s an impolite question to ask.”
“Are you ashamed?”
“I’m not ashamed of experience I’ve ever had – but that does not mean I want to discuss this with you. It’s dangerous territory honey. We’re not going to discuss this.”
He leaned forward, angling himself a mere inch from her face. “I may be out of line…I think I am but it just occurred to me. I feel like you’re mine now, fully mine Doc.”
“I am.” She said quietly.
“I want to know everything about you. We’re more than lovers. We’re best friend’s baby.”
“John, let me approach this from a psychiatrist’s point of view: how do we go from having arguably the best sex we’ve ever had to you wanting to know my sexual history? Make the connection for me.”
“It’s being here with you…like this. Now don’t get feminist on me but you’re mine…I want to possess everything about you. Everything.”
“John, you can’t possess a person. It’s unhealthy. And I can’t change my past to suit your ideal of me. We’re starting from today. I’ve told you…I want to be committed to you. I think this is an insensitive question. I haven’t asked you for details of who you’ve slept with or why. I could question you about Avery…and the others but it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m with you now. Those others don’t matter.”
“You can ask me whatever you want.”
“John, you’re just making the argument. I don’t want to know. It doesn’t change how we feel about each other. Does it?”
“Doc, you’re avoiding the question.”
“I’m not. I – I don’t want to argue. This is becoming a pattern with us. We make love then argue. I don’t want to do that anymore.”
“I’m not trying to start an argument. I just want you to answer my question.”
“I don’t understand why it matters. I can’t see the logic in a question like that, so I’m not going to answer it.” She broke away from his grasp and climbed from the bed.
He leaned back with his hands above his head. She was taking a bath. He heard the water filling the tub. He didn’t understand why it bothered him so much. The past was the past. He had one; not one he could recall but he did have a past. He pulled the sheet above his torso to shield the cold air. He turned over and tried to sleep, but the sound of her movements in the bathroom kept his concentration. Was this punishment for Avery? Had Avery said something more than Doc had shared? It wasn’t like Marlena to play mind games. With his mind racing, he nearly leapt from the bed and crossed the room to rap on the bathroom door. She didn’t respond to which prompted him to turn the knob and walk in.
She was sitting comfortably in the Jacuzzi bathtub surrounded by bubbles. She’d pulled her hair up, exposing the glistening wetness at the nape of her neck. She rubbed her arms luxuriously with the loofa as John watched mesmerized. He waited until she met his eyes before moving to the edge of the bathtub. She silently continued washing herself as John watched. He dipped his hand into the water, surveying blindly until he found her thigh. He trailed its length until he reached the treasure. Marlena remained silent as she studiously awaited John’s moves. He circled it with his fingers, pulling away when her eyelids lowered. He slipped into the back of the tub, pressing his hardness into her lower back as he helped her to her knees. She braced herself for the entrance, wondering if her body could take another mind-blowing orgasm. Her thought process was short-lived. He leaned her against the rim, cupping each of her breasts in his hands as his mouth sucked her neck. He moved to her shoulder blade up toward her chin. Their mouths crashed into each as she snaked her arm around his neck, pulling him deeper into her mouth. She felt weightless. Her mind cloudy. All she knew was pleasure; his absolute mastery of satisfying her. He bonded them without warning. She closed her eyes at its intrusion, gripping the rim of the tub with white knuckled fingers as he teased her entrance with two inches before pulling out and doing so again. She reached around his legs and pulled him closer, sealing their intimacy with her need to have him close to her. He put his hand across her stomach to give himself balance. “I love you, Marlena Evans.” He said close to the base of her ear. His breaths warmed her skin. “I want you to marry me.” He pumped steadily, brushing her nub with each thrust. She leaned back to aide him to his highest pleasure. He came roughly spilling his seed in her proudly. She circled around in the water to wrap her legs around him. She wanted to feel his body uncontrollably contracting in the soapy water. She held him until he was able to touch her again. Unexpectedly he began rubbing her slowly in the water. “Baby, do it…come for me.” He plied her, kissing her as he brought her to the edge. His voice coupled with the rubbing of his fingers against her center helped her come quickly, a beautiful release that sent her falling against John. She rested her head on his shoulder as her body searched for its natural rhythm again. He held her. “Baby, I want to get married,” he said after a few silent moments. Her breaths were slowly returning to normal. It took her another second to respond immediately. “Did you hear me?”
“I want you to marry me.”
“I’m married to Roman.”
“John do you know more than anything else, I want to be Mrs. John Black.” She said lifting her head from his shoulder.
“Well be it. Say yes.” He implored cupping her chin. “I don’t give a damn about your divorce from Roman. That’ll come. I just want you to say you’ll marry me.”
“You really want to marry me?”
“More than anything in this world. I don’t have a ring…you can’t even wear a ring right now but I want you to dedicate yourself to us. Say you’ll marry me.”
She whispered, “I’ll marry you,” with a small smile creasing her lips.
“Yes. I’ll marry you,” she said louder. “I will marry you.”
“Forever and always.”
“Forever and always.”
“I Marlena Evans take John Black,” he said staring directly at her.
“I Marlena Evans take John Black.”
“To be my only husband forever.”
She smiled at his twist of words. “To be my only husband forever.” She emphasized.
“Until death do us part.”
“Until death do us part.” She said crushing her mouth against his passionately. She wanted to taste him, as she devoured his mouth. “He’s happy.” She said breaking away from his mouth.
“The baby.” She told him leading his hand beneath the water to touch her belly. “He’s heard all of this and he’s happy.”
“I think it’s a boy John. He feels very masculine to me. Touch right there,” she said smiling. “I think that’s where he’s growing at.”
“John Black Jr?”
“Let’s go back to the drawing board for that one.”
“You’re getting chilly…come on. Lets you into something warm and then to bed.” He said helping her out of the bathtub.
“Another little boy?” Her face crinkles at the vision as John drapes a towel around her.
“Do you think you can handle another male figure in this house?”
“No problem.” She said confidently.
“It could be another girl Doc.”
“No,” she said shaking her head. “It’s a little boy. And this little boy says its time for Mama to get some sleep…so Daddy no more making love. You sleep on your side of the bed and I’m going to stay on mine.”
“I have a side of the bed?” He asked leading her to the bedroom.
“The side that I’m not on. Now Mr. Black, I expect to find you in my bed in the morning when I awake. No surprises…I haven’t woke up with you in a long time.”
“I’m not going anywhere Mrs. Black.” He said winking. He searched her bureau for a lose t-shirt with SPD emblazed in thick white letters across the front. She pulled it over her head and climbed back into bed.
“Honey, I forgot to ask you…what happened to Brady?”
John looked shocked. “Brady?”
“Yes, Brady. The little boy who was in my bed before you climbed into it.”
“Doc, I took him to Belle’s room after I saw you sing him to sleep. I have to admit, it turned me on.”
“I think that’s disturbing on some level.” She said turning her back to John.
Spooning against her, he said, “you don’t realize the effects of seeing you in bed, pregnant with my child…knowing that I did that.”
“We did this,” she corrected him.
“Technically I did. Don’t take my glory. And then you with Brady…what can I say?”
“Please, don’t say anything. Sleep. Let’s just sleep.” She pulled his hands to her belly and they fell asleep.