Post by Tammy on Aug 17, 2006 12:13:09 GMT -5
It is now 7:30 pm and I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Hope will be here in about an hour to pick me up to go to the bar and I am nowhere near ready. I am in the kitchen ironing my close and my father is giving me an ear full yet again about going out. “Marlena where did you say the boys are staying?” I didn’t want to tell him that they were staying at John’s house since John isn’t exactly his favorite person. “They are at a friends house for the night dad.” I am rushing back and forth trying to get ready and every chance my father gets he is in my face about one thing or another. “Marlena I am not happy about this. Who are these friends that the boys are staying with…do I know them? If I don’t know them then I don’t think…” That is it. I am so fed up with his domineering attitude. “Look dad…I am really getting tired of this. If it were up to you they would never leave the house…nor would I for that matter. I mean come on…lets face it…the only time you are concerned with any of us is when you have nothing better to do. I have a life and whether you like it or not…so do the boys.” I left the kitchen to go up stairs. As I was about to ascend the stairs my father grabs my arm and turns me around, “Hold it right there little girl. I will be damned if you are going to speak to me like that. You are living under my roof and last time I checked I was the father and you were the child!” I yank my arm out of his grasp, “That is just it dad… I am NOT a CHILD! I am an adult…and if you will remember… the reason I am living under ‘your roof’ is to take care of my nephews! Whether you like it or not I am trying to make a life for myself. That is the problem isn’t it…that is what has you so pissed of! You are upset because my life doesn’t revolve around you and this god forsaken family! Instead of encouraging me to make a better life for myself…you all try your best to hold me down…and keep me stuck in this web of dysfunction! Well you all can go to hell! I am going to finish college, get a good job and make a good life for myself! I am going to do everything in my power to break this hold you all have had over me…and I am going to put an END to this never-ending cycle of dysfunction…for myself and for JJ and Christian!” I turned around and started to make my way up the stairs. My father laughed bitterly, “I hope you don’t plan on making this “new and improved life” with John Black!” I spun around and faced him, “What it THAT supposed to mean?” He smirked at me, “Come on Marlena…you are way out of that jerks league. He can have any woman in the world…what make you think he would want to have anything to do with you. I mean you said it yourself…look at the genes you come from…a bunch of lower class, alcoholics and drug addicts. Who would want to screw up a perfect bloodline with all that! Marlena face it…you can try with all your might…but you will never be able to change the fact that you are going to be just as screwed up as the rest of us!” I can’t believe that he is trying to hurt me like this. I stare at him and feel the tears forming in my eyes. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he hurt my so I run up to my room.
It is about an hour later I am sitting in my room. I am sitting on the ledge of my windowsill looking out into the night when Hope knocks on the door and comes in. “Hey Mar…what are you doing? Why aren’t you dressed to go?” I glance at her and then look back out the window, “I’m not going!” Hope comes over and sits beside me. “Marlena…what’s wrong…I can tell you have been crying.” I don’t answer her. “Marlena? Oh let me guess…yet another fight with your dad? Let me guess…was it about how you are just ’wasting your time’ going to college? Or was it about you hanging out with those ‘DAMN Brady’s’!” I know that Hope just wants to help me. I look at her and begin to cry again, “Hope…am I cursed?” Hope looks at me in shock, “What? What would make you say such a foolish thing?” I take a deep breath and begin to tell her everything that my father said about me genes and about John not wanting anything to do with me because of the people that I come from. “Marlena…you don’t honestly believe that nonsense…do you? Honey…your biology is a part of you…but it doesn’t determine who you will turn out to be! You have fought your whole life to be a good person with a good life…and sweetie you re winning that fight everyday.” I wipe the tears from me eyes. “But Hope…what if what my father said is true…what if I can never find happiness because of where and who I come from?” Hope smiles despite herself, “So that is what this is really about!” I look at her skeptically and she laughs, “This is about what your father said about John isn’t it. Come on Mar…that is a bunch of shit and you know it!” “NO I don’t know it Hope. What if what my father said is true…what if I let myself get invested in a potential relationship with John…and then it just blows up in my face one day because he decides that I am not good enough for him.” Hope busts out in a fit of laughter and I look at her in shock, “It is nice to see that you find this humorous!” Hope gets control of herself, “I don’t find it humorous…I find it hilarious.” “HOPE!” Hope gets up and goes to my closet and starts picking out some close while she talks. “I am sorry but it is hilarious…because it is the stupidest thing I have EVER heard! Marlena do you honestly think that if John thought you weren’t good enough…he would let you spend time with his DAUGHTER! If you weren’t good enough do you think he would spend tens of thousands of dollars to give you a fireworks display for your birthday!” Hope walks up to my and shoves the clothes in my face. “Marlena…John’s has got is bad for you…and you know that is true! Now…get your behind into that bathroom…get dressed and do your hair and makeup! We are already 15 minutes late for our…triple date!” I grab the clothes and then hesitate for a moment. I turn back to Hope, “But Hope…” She holds up her hand to stop me, “No buts Marlena. We are going to go to the bar…get wasted…and just have FUN! You do remember what fun is don’t you…it is when you…” I started laughing, “Alright! Alright…let me get ready…and then we can go get wasted and have…oh what was it called again?” Hope laughed, “FUN!” “Oh yeah…fun! Sorry…that sounds like a foreign concept to me.” “Well after tonight it will be your second favorite three letter word!” I was about to go change my clothes when what she just said registered in my brain. I turn back toward her, “My second favorite three letter word? What would be the first one?” Hope put her hands on her hip and took a serious stance, “Why SEX of course!” We both broke out into a fit of laughter as she pushed me into the bathroom to get ready. A few minutes later I come out in a black tight fitting tank top… and tight fitting jeans that flare at the bottom…with black cowboy boots to match. My hair is haphazardly piled on top of my head with very little makeup on. Hope smiles at me and grabs my arm leading me downstairs. We get into the living room and are about to leave when my father tears his eyes away from the television. “Marlena, what time are you going to be home.” I look at him with a devilish grin, ‘Who knows…if all goes well…I might not be coming home tonight at all!” That was all I said as I walked out the door.
It is about an hour later I am sitting in my room. I am sitting on the ledge of my windowsill looking out into the night when Hope knocks on the door and comes in. “Hey Mar…what are you doing? Why aren’t you dressed to go?” I glance at her and then look back out the window, “I’m not going!” Hope comes over and sits beside me. “Marlena…what’s wrong…I can tell you have been crying.” I don’t answer her. “Marlena? Oh let me guess…yet another fight with your dad? Let me guess…was it about how you are just ’wasting your time’ going to college? Or was it about you hanging out with those ‘DAMN Brady’s’!” I know that Hope just wants to help me. I look at her and begin to cry again, “Hope…am I cursed?” Hope looks at me in shock, “What? What would make you say such a foolish thing?” I take a deep breath and begin to tell her everything that my father said about me genes and about John not wanting anything to do with me because of the people that I come from. “Marlena…you don’t honestly believe that nonsense…do you? Honey…your biology is a part of you…but it doesn’t determine who you will turn out to be! You have fought your whole life to be a good person with a good life…and sweetie you re winning that fight everyday.” I wipe the tears from me eyes. “But Hope…what if what my father said is true…what if I can never find happiness because of where and who I come from?” Hope smiles despite herself, “So that is what this is really about!” I look at her skeptically and she laughs, “This is about what your father said about John isn’t it. Come on Mar…that is a bunch of shit and you know it!” “NO I don’t know it Hope. What if what my father said is true…what if I let myself get invested in a potential relationship with John…and then it just blows up in my face one day because he decides that I am not good enough for him.” Hope busts out in a fit of laughter and I look at her in shock, “It is nice to see that you find this humorous!” Hope gets control of herself, “I don’t find it humorous…I find it hilarious.” “HOPE!” Hope gets up and goes to my closet and starts picking out some close while she talks. “I am sorry but it is hilarious…because it is the stupidest thing I have EVER heard! Marlena do you honestly think that if John thought you weren’t good enough…he would let you spend time with his DAUGHTER! If you weren’t good enough do you think he would spend tens of thousands of dollars to give you a fireworks display for your birthday!” Hope walks up to my and shoves the clothes in my face. “Marlena…John’s has got is bad for you…and you know that is true! Now…get your behind into that bathroom…get dressed and do your hair and makeup! We are already 15 minutes late for our…triple date!” I grab the clothes and then hesitate for a moment. I turn back to Hope, “But Hope…” She holds up her hand to stop me, “No buts Marlena. We are going to go to the bar…get wasted…and just have FUN! You do remember what fun is don’t you…it is when you…” I started laughing, “Alright! Alright…let me get ready…and then we can go get wasted and have…oh what was it called again?” Hope laughed, “FUN!” “Oh yeah…fun! Sorry…that sounds like a foreign concept to me.” “Well after tonight it will be your second favorite three letter word!” I was about to go change my clothes when what she just said registered in my brain. I turn back toward her, “My second favorite three letter word? What would be the first one?” Hope put her hands on her hip and took a serious stance, “Why SEX of course!” We both broke out into a fit of laughter as she pushed me into the bathroom to get ready. A few minutes later I come out in a black tight fitting tank top… and tight fitting jeans that flare at the bottom…with black cowboy boots to match. My hair is haphazardly piled on top of my head with very little makeup on. Hope smiles at me and grabs my arm leading me downstairs. We get into the living room and are about to leave when my father tears his eyes away from the television. “Marlena, what time are you going to be home.” I look at him with a devilish grin, ‘Who knows…if all goes well…I might not be coming home tonight at all!” That was all I said as I walked out the door.
