Post by Tammy on Aug 17, 2006 13:00:46 GMT -5
Sami just stood there at a total loss for words. She didn’t want to confirm John’s comment just in case he was bluffing so she choose to say nothing. John just stared at her wondering when she was going to start spewing out some excuses for her behavior, but the excuses never came. John waited another moment and then broke the looming silence, “Well?” Sami just stared at him with a neutral expression, “Well…what?” John couldn’t believe she wasn’t defending herself, “Well…aren’t you going to do your usual pity Sami routine, you know…it goes something like this…”It wasn’t me. It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do it.” you know your usual barrage of excuses.” Sami looked at him one moment longer and then turned to face the water.
John walked up to stand beside her and for a moment they both gazed out into the blackness that seemed to go on for miles. After a moment John let out a small chuckle, “Samantha Gene Brady… admitting defeat! Well…I guess there is a first time for everything.” Sami turned her head and gave him a snide glance, “I haven’t admitted anything…you have no proof…of anything!” Sami gave him a half hearted smile and turned to leave… but John’s next words stopped her in her tracks, “Sami you know me better than that! I NEVER make an accusation without the proof to back it up!” Sami stopped and turned to face him…her anger rising, “What do you want from me John?” John turned away from her with tears beginning to form in his eyes, “I don’t want a…damn thing from you Samantha. You have…already done enough for me…thanks!” Then suddenly his temper began to rise and he abruptly turned to face her, “You know what…there is something I want from you.” Sami got irritated, “Arggg…I knew it! So what price do I have to pay for what you ‘think’ you know?” John stared at her blankly, “The price you have to pay…is to answer one question for me.” “And what question would that be?” John stepped closer to her, “Why?… How?” Sami gave a small chuckle, “That would be two questions.” John became irate at her, “DAMN IT SAMANTHA…this is not a joke.” The harshness of John’s tone scared her and she jumped back slightly. John saw her flinch and stepped away from her, “Everything isn’t fun and games Sami…I would have thought that you would have learned that by now. “ Sami shrugged off his comment, “I know that all to well thanks. Listen…all you asked me was ‘why’ …if you want me explain something to you…your going to have to be more specific John.” John was becoming tired of Sami’s flippant attitude. He has never been able to let his true anger at her out over the years out of respect to Marlena…but right now…all John’s pent up anger came out at once. “You want me to be more specific…that shouldn’t be a problem. I want to know why…why you felt the need…to make your stepfather…into a drug addict? I want to know how…how you could sit there and watch me…watch me jam a needle into my leg! I want to know WHY…you felt the need to…kill me slowly…day by day, and I want to know HOW you could care less…about doing it?” John was crying and he didn’t care. He loved Sami so much…it was killing him inside to know that she hated him this much. Sami was taken back by what John was saying. She never expected him to confront her like this, with so much emotion. However she wasn’t going to let emotion cloud the issue. Sami summoned up all the anger she had within herself and spoke to John with venom in her voice, “You want to know WHY John… you want to know HOW? Because…you ruined MY LIFE!” John looked at her in utter disbelief, “How Sami…please tell me how I have ruined your life.” Sami felt her own tears beginning to surface, but she pushed them down, “You know how John…you…you destroyed my FAMILY!” John let out an exasperated sigh, “Oh PLEASE…not this shit again. Good lord Sami…you act like…the world oldest fucking ten year old!” Sami gasped suddenly. She had never heard John talk that way to her…or to anyone else for that matter, “Excuse me?” John looked at her matter of factly, “You heard me…loud and clear!” John started pacing back and forth trying to process his thoughts, “So…let me get this straight. You decided to turn me…your step father…into a drug addict…because your mommy and daddy got divorced?” Sami let her anger out as well, “It is more than that, and you know it! They would have never GOTTEN divorced if it wasn’t for you…and mom… having an affair! That affair destroyed our family…and my life!” John looked at her in disbelief, “Yes Sami…your mother and I had an affair… 12 FUCKING YEARS AGO! Get OVER it already!” Sami was irate, “Get over it? That’s easy for you to say! That affair didn’t cost you anything! No you got away scott free….the rest of us had to pay the price! Me and Eric and Carrie…we lost our father because you…couldn’t keep your pants zipped!” John calmed down slightly, “Excuse me…don’t EVEN try to blame Roman leaving on me. Your mother begged him…she begged him to stay and work things out! You know what…that’s not even the point! It was 12 years ago! Isn’t there a statute of limitations on pass sins? What… Are you going to make me pay for that one mistake for the rest of my life?” Sami’s anger faded slightly. John looked at her sad expression and his anger faded slightly as well. John stuck his hands nervously in his pockets and slowly walked over to the bench and sat down. “I just don’t get it Sami. You were sitting here crying because you think that no one believes that you are telling the truth about not cheating on Lucas.” He looked her straight in the eye, “You know why no one believes you?” Sami let a tear drop from her eye as she listened to him. “No one believes you… because of the things that you have done in the past. That is what amazes me about this whole situation. You know…better than anyone…how much it hurts when people hold your past mistakes against you…yet you CONSTANTLY do it to me and your mother!” Sami approaches him tentatively, “John…” John stood from the bench and walked away from her, “No Sami… I don’t even want to hear it! I am sooo tired…of being blamed for everything… that has gone wrong in your life.” John turned to face her, “I raised you Sami…when you were little and we thought your mother died…I raised you and your brother and sister. I was the one that took you to school and made sure you did your homework. I was the one that played tea party with you…I was the one that let you play beauty shop and use me as a mannequin…” Sami chuckled slightly at the memory, with tears running down her eyes. John saw the tears in Sami eyes and his tears began to flow as he continued, “I was the one who did all those thing with you… I was your FATHER! Why…why doesn’t THAT count for anything! You say that I didn’t have a price to pay when I had the affair with Doc…You know what? That affair, was a result of the price that I had ALREADY paid. I paid the ultimate price when Roman came back. I lost…everything that day. I lost my home, my job, my wife and kids…I lost my life that day! You have no idea… how it feels to lose the only life you have ever known. You kids…and your mother…were my life! I was nothing without all of you…yet I walked away! I gave Roman back his family…but I never gave up the love that I felt for you all. I am not saying that the affair was right…not by any stretch of the imagination! But it happened out of love, a love that was ripped away from me and your mother!” John shook himself out of his recriminations and gathered his wits about him. He looked at Sami. “Sami, the point here is…I have owned up to my mistakes… each and every one of them. Maybe you should try and do the same. You can’t continue to blame everything you do…on the fact that your parents divorced. You can’t blame every life that you destroy on the fact that your mother and I had an affair, and broke up your ‘happy home‘. Last time I checked…you are an adult! Maybe…just maybe…people will stop holding your past mistakes against you…when YOU stop beating them over the head with theirs!” John looked at her for a moment trying to see whether anything that he said sunk into Sami’s head. When he saw no sign either way he turned to leave…when Sami laid her hand on his arm to stop him. “John…please…don’t go!” John looked back at her. Sami had tears running down her face. He hope that this was a sign…a sign that things were about to change between him and his daughter.
John walked up to stand beside her and for a moment they both gazed out into the blackness that seemed to go on for miles. After a moment John let out a small chuckle, “Samantha Gene Brady… admitting defeat! Well…I guess there is a first time for everything.” Sami turned her head and gave him a snide glance, “I haven’t admitted anything…you have no proof…of anything!” Sami gave him a half hearted smile and turned to leave… but John’s next words stopped her in her tracks, “Sami you know me better than that! I NEVER make an accusation without the proof to back it up!” Sami stopped and turned to face him…her anger rising, “What do you want from me John?” John turned away from her with tears beginning to form in his eyes, “I don’t want a…damn thing from you Samantha. You have…already done enough for me…thanks!” Then suddenly his temper began to rise and he abruptly turned to face her, “You know what…there is something I want from you.” Sami got irritated, “Arggg…I knew it! So what price do I have to pay for what you ‘think’ you know?” John stared at her blankly, “The price you have to pay…is to answer one question for me.” “And what question would that be?” John stepped closer to her, “Why?… How?” Sami gave a small chuckle, “That would be two questions.” John became irate at her, “DAMN IT SAMANTHA…this is not a joke.” The harshness of John’s tone scared her and she jumped back slightly. John saw her flinch and stepped away from her, “Everything isn’t fun and games Sami…I would have thought that you would have learned that by now. “ Sami shrugged off his comment, “I know that all to well thanks. Listen…all you asked me was ‘why’ …if you want me explain something to you…your going to have to be more specific John.” John was becoming tired of Sami’s flippant attitude. He has never been able to let his true anger at her out over the years out of respect to Marlena…but right now…all John’s pent up anger came out at once. “You want me to be more specific…that shouldn’t be a problem. I want to know why…why you felt the need…to make your stepfather…into a drug addict? I want to know how…how you could sit there and watch me…watch me jam a needle into my leg! I want to know WHY…you felt the need to…kill me slowly…day by day, and I want to know HOW you could care less…about doing it?” John was crying and he didn’t care. He loved Sami so much…it was killing him inside to know that she hated him this much. Sami was taken back by what John was saying. She never expected him to confront her like this, with so much emotion. However she wasn’t going to let emotion cloud the issue. Sami summoned up all the anger she had within herself and spoke to John with venom in her voice, “You want to know WHY John… you want to know HOW? Because…you ruined MY LIFE!” John looked at her in utter disbelief, “How Sami…please tell me how I have ruined your life.” Sami felt her own tears beginning to surface, but she pushed them down, “You know how John…you…you destroyed my FAMILY!” John let out an exasperated sigh, “Oh PLEASE…not this shit again. Good lord Sami…you act like…the world oldest fucking ten year old!” Sami gasped suddenly. She had never heard John talk that way to her…or to anyone else for that matter, “Excuse me?” John looked at her matter of factly, “You heard me…loud and clear!” John started pacing back and forth trying to process his thoughts, “So…let me get this straight. You decided to turn me…your step father…into a drug addict…because your mommy and daddy got divorced?” Sami let her anger out as well, “It is more than that, and you know it! They would have never GOTTEN divorced if it wasn’t for you…and mom… having an affair! That affair destroyed our family…and my life!” John looked at her in disbelief, “Yes Sami…your mother and I had an affair… 12 FUCKING YEARS AGO! Get OVER it already!” Sami was irate, “Get over it? That’s easy for you to say! That affair didn’t cost you anything! No you got away scott free….the rest of us had to pay the price! Me and Eric and Carrie…we lost our father because you…couldn’t keep your pants zipped!” John calmed down slightly, “Excuse me…don’t EVEN try to blame Roman leaving on me. Your mother begged him…she begged him to stay and work things out! You know what…that’s not even the point! It was 12 years ago! Isn’t there a statute of limitations on pass sins? What… Are you going to make me pay for that one mistake for the rest of my life?” Sami’s anger faded slightly. John looked at her sad expression and his anger faded slightly as well. John stuck his hands nervously in his pockets and slowly walked over to the bench and sat down. “I just don’t get it Sami. You were sitting here crying because you think that no one believes that you are telling the truth about not cheating on Lucas.” He looked her straight in the eye, “You know why no one believes you?” Sami let a tear drop from her eye as she listened to him. “No one believes you… because of the things that you have done in the past. That is what amazes me about this whole situation. You know…better than anyone…how much it hurts when people hold your past mistakes against you…yet you CONSTANTLY do it to me and your mother!” Sami approaches him tentatively, “John…” John stood from the bench and walked away from her, “No Sami… I don’t even want to hear it! I am sooo tired…of being blamed for everything… that has gone wrong in your life.” John turned to face her, “I raised you Sami…when you were little and we thought your mother died…I raised you and your brother and sister. I was the one that took you to school and made sure you did your homework. I was the one that played tea party with you…I was the one that let you play beauty shop and use me as a mannequin…” Sami chuckled slightly at the memory, with tears running down her eyes. John saw the tears in Sami eyes and his tears began to flow as he continued, “I was the one who did all those thing with you… I was your FATHER! Why…why doesn’t THAT count for anything! You say that I didn’t have a price to pay when I had the affair with Doc…You know what? That affair, was a result of the price that I had ALREADY paid. I paid the ultimate price when Roman came back. I lost…everything that day. I lost my home, my job, my wife and kids…I lost my life that day! You have no idea… how it feels to lose the only life you have ever known. You kids…and your mother…were my life! I was nothing without all of you…yet I walked away! I gave Roman back his family…but I never gave up the love that I felt for you all. I am not saying that the affair was right…not by any stretch of the imagination! But it happened out of love, a love that was ripped away from me and your mother!” John shook himself out of his recriminations and gathered his wits about him. He looked at Sami. “Sami, the point here is…I have owned up to my mistakes… each and every one of them. Maybe you should try and do the same. You can’t continue to blame everything you do…on the fact that your parents divorced. You can’t blame every life that you destroy on the fact that your mother and I had an affair, and broke up your ‘happy home‘. Last time I checked…you are an adult! Maybe…just maybe…people will stop holding your past mistakes against you…when YOU stop beating them over the head with theirs!” John looked at her for a moment trying to see whether anything that he said sunk into Sami’s head. When he saw no sign either way he turned to leave…when Sami laid her hand on his arm to stop him. “John…please…don’t go!” John looked back at her. Sami had tears running down her face. He hope that this was a sign…a sign that things were about to change between him and his daughter.
